(no subject)
ok
well its been like at least a billion years since ive written an entry in this thing, but here are my wonderful excuses why;
1. im lazy
2. im busy
3. i have ugly hair
ok well
guess what? my bitching guitar playing skills got me into the jazz band! yes! i fuckin rule. well whats even cooler than that is now my parents will help me to buy an epiphone hollowbody!!! yes! guess what else? i think im gonna play in this band! yes AND i have this awesome girlfriend that really just overall rocks (hi cassandra). i am talking with amanda and she tells me that i need to tell people when they piss me off. this way they wont walk all over me anymore and i wont hold everyones shit that they give to me inside. well
on my bus i kind of really dislike all of you. i actually have a piece of paper in my wallet that says everyone on my bus, i never liked any of you anyways. i put it there in case i get in a car accident. kristyn is a stupid...stupidhead, monica fairy you are a dumb bitch, cassie you are a silly little girl and you will never amount to anyhitng, sue you are a fucking loser but i guess youre cool except you sing flat all the time on the bus to your stupid country music, zach you are such a dumb fuck, and you will just live by yourself or maybe with your mom if youre lucky...um..fuck who else rides my bus? oh well julia youre ok and i wont kill you,even though you really have pissed me off at times,
everybody else has gotta go haha
ok this is not satisfying
i dont like this
im not hateful like this
shit
is this called moodswings?
fuck. are these normal feelings of a teenager? i dont know who i am. i do not know if i like what i tell myself i like. i dont know if i know the people i claim to know. i dont care about my family. i think that i suck. and life is tooooooooooooo confuuuuuuuuuuusingidngsdkjabjkababjafkabfi;eb;kebe
well what the fuck i dont know what i want. i dont know how i feel.
i htink i just came up wiht a pretty good summary just a second ago
ok
my brain is going through mood swings too quickly for my mouth to express how im feeling. because of this, the person on the outside completely and totally contradicts how i feel on the inside. i feel that my emotions are too complex for my brain to comprehend.
k sorry this entry is so like um wishy washy and stupid sounding but im just kinda trying to pour myself out onto this thing and as you can see i dont feel quite right inside( i dont make much sense on here)
blaaaaa
fuck
goodbye