(no subject)
dear journal;
i wanna be FIVE again; i wanna know that my only worrys are to color in the lines && make sure the boys dont catch me on the playground. i want things to be simple again; when your friends liked you b/c you were different; & your hair smelled & your clothes didnt match. life was so easy then; everything was amazing; & when you got hurt or were sad/mad; your mommy gave you a lollipop and your problems were fixed. should life be so inonncent still?!
BUT; since i know life couldnt be as i so intend. i must make the best. && deal with the shit; i get thrown at me. FOR INSTANCE: i got kicked off the cheerleading team; b/c i chose not to run 8-16 miles for MONO. yeah; that was my deal, and ill cope with it. && now i feel like im loosing some friends; i was kinda close to && it sucks. 2 people have come up to me & told me; im "acting" diffrent; and im just like WTF?! b/c im not doing anything diffrent; besides the fact im not cheering and i work alot more. BUT i cant help that. it feels like my whole world is falling apart. SOON;[as in dec 31.]; ill have a stepdad and stepsister. which i soooooo DO NOT want. which sadness me;. && i dont wanna be in or have anything to do with the wedding. BUT yet again; mother dosnt care what i think; and im expected to go along with everything; my whole world gets to change to make her happy; but yeah; its always been that way. s0o. BLAH.
i do believe i've reached some record; of the longest&bitchest post/complant. so- im LEAVING! goodbye.
i wanna be FIVE again; i wanna know that my only worrys are to color in the lines && make sure the boys dont catch me on the playground. i want things to be simple again; when your friends liked you b/c you were different; & your hair smelled & your clothes didnt match. life was so easy then; everything was amazing; & when you got hurt or were sad/mad; your mommy gave you a lollipop and your problems were fixed. should life be so inonncent still?!
BUT; since i know life couldnt be as i so intend. i must make the best. && deal with the shit; i get thrown at me. FOR INSTANCE: i got kicked off the cheerleading team; b/c i chose not to run 8-16 miles for MONO. yeah; that was my deal, and ill cope with it. && now i feel like im loosing some friends; i was kinda close to && it sucks. 2 people have come up to me & told me; im "acting" diffrent; and im just like WTF?! b/c im not doing anything diffrent; besides the fact im not cheering and i work alot more. BUT i cant help that. it feels like my whole world is falling apart. SOON;[as in dec 31.]; ill have a stepdad and stepsister. which i soooooo DO NOT want. which sadness me;. && i dont wanna be in or have anything to do with the wedding. BUT yet again; mother dosnt care what i think; and im expected to go along with everything; my whole world gets to change to make her happy; but yeah; its always been that way. s0o. BLAH.
i do believe i've reached some record; of the longest&bitchest post/complant. so- im LEAVING! goodbye.