I've been flyin', ain't no denyin' [R, Sam, Dean pre-slash]

[yourkidney]

Basic premise of my circus AU:
This is an SPN circus AU where Mary died as in canon, and John went on the road to hunt the supernatural, but he was killed pretty early on. Dean knows about the supernatural but never told Sam. Instead of falling into the foster system they joined a small circus, where they were given room and board and taught the basics of trapeze, tight wire, gymnastics and juggling. Over the years they traveled with multiple circuses, picking up new things, and eventually settled down to master gymnastics and the flying trapeze (as opposed to the stationary or swinging). When Sam is 15 they got picked up by Cirque du Soleil, where they stay. At 18 Sam leaves for Stanford, and comes back at 22. He still doesn't know about the supernatural, and Dean questions his own memories of it.


This gives you an idea of what these boys do:

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These are the main terms used for the flying trapeze. I only use three or four in this fic, but I've got it here for future reference, because this is the only time I want to have to post it.
+ Listo/Lista - Ready; Used by the flyer and/or catcher to signify that they are holding the fly bar (for a flyer) or have built enough height in their swing for a catch (for a catcher) and ready to go.
+ Ready - Used by the catcher to tell the flyer that they should leave the board momentarily. The flyer bends their knees, and if executing a one-handed take-off, dips the bar so they can raise it higher when they jump off the board.
+ Lining Up - Called from the board. When the person working the board for those who have not yet learned to retrieve and serve the bar themselves gives the flyer the fly bar. It really means that the flyer is "lining up" their trick.
+ Hep - Signal to leave the board and/or the fly bar. Sometimes used by the catcher to tell the flyer to let go after a catch when landing in the net.
+ First - Usually called by someone pulling safety lines when tricks are being thrown to the net. It is used for front-end tricks to signify getting to the first position.
+ Final - Also usually called by one pulling safety lines. It is used for front-end tricks to signify getting to the final position.
+ Gotcha - Some catchers say, "Gotcha!" when they catch to signify that they have a good grip on the flyer and that the flyer can let go of the fly bar.
+ Catch Trap - The trapeze that the catcher swings on.
+ Fly Bar - The bar the flyer uses.
+ Apron - The net in front of the catch trap. (The back apron is the net in back of the board.)
+ Rise/Riser - A narrow board placed on the rungs of the ladder to allow the flyer to take off from a higher point.
+ Noodle - The long pole used to reach the fly bar when the person working the board cannot reach it normally.
+ Mount - When the flyer mounts the board after a return.
+ Return - When the flyer, after a successful catch, manages to return to the fly bar, and often all the way back to the board. In professional shows, the flyers rarely come down from the board.
+ Grips - Can be gymnastics grips or ones made out of tape. They are used to protect the flyer's hands.
+ Chalk - Used by the flyer and catcher to absorb wetness and get reduce sticking to things such as the fly bar.
+ Force-out - Kicking the legs out at the peak of the flyer's swing to gain height.
+ Hollow - Comes right after the force-out. It's basically a neutral position.
+ Sweep - Comes after "hollow." Signifies kicking the legs back.
+ Seven - The last part of a force-out swing. Flyer brings legs in front of them so they will not hit the board.
+ Cutaway Bar - The bar that the catcher holds when the flyer executes tricks to the catcher such as normal Cutaways and Reverse Knee-Hangs.
+ Cut (as in Cut Catch) - The flyer is caught in a legs catch and swings out into the apron. On the next swing into the apron, the flyer thrusts their body up and the catcher lets go of the flyer's legs and grabs their hands.

I've been flyin', ain't no denyin'
Sam, Dean, R, pre-slash
It's opening night in Boston.

Part one of my Circus AU 'verse.

This is an AU where John died when Sam and Dean were six and ten, and they were picked up by a circus instead of getting lost in the foster system. They now have one of the best flying trapeze acts in the country.

Okay. So yes this is kind of ridiculous. So sue me.


+ + +

Sam looks over at Dean and they're so excited to get back on stage. They're both jittery with nerves; it's the opening night of Cirque du Soleil's La Chasse in Boston, which is going to be their home for the next month. The crowd has been going absolutely wild for every act so far, and it's going to be their turn to go on in ten. They have the second act after intermission and the highlight of the show: the flying trapeze.

They obsessively check their costumes, orange and white and blue and skintight spandex. They chalk their grips again and again, even though there will be more up on the boards. Sam throws in a couple stretches, but his body is already so limbered up that it isn't necessary, and Dean counts off beats in his head with his fingers tapping against his leg.

The minutes finally tick down until the closing strands of music for the current act, the unicyclists, plays. Sam and Dean lean in close and clasp each other across the shoulders.

"Fly well, baby bro," Dean says, like always. Sam can't actually hear him over the cheering and the music, but he sees his mouth move and has heard it almost every day for most of his life. Sam doesn't respond, just leans in and takes strength from his brother's shorter, stockier frame until the opening notes of Led Zeppelin's "Kashmir" start to play. (This show is the first one that Cirque du Soleil has ever put on that uses even one song cover, let alone a score that is made up of just under half, and nobody knows how the producers okayed that. Dean had wanted to use "Gallows Pole" but Sam point blank refused.) They smile at each other one last time and then go running out with their show faces on, directly following the eight other guys who play backup to their act.

The lights are blinding, the crowd is already going crazy, and the music is pounding just this side of painfully loud. They each take a side, Dean on the left and Sam on the right. Less than half a minute later and they've chalked up again and grabbed their bars.

The past couple of years of performances, Dean has been the flyer and Sam the catcher, ever since Sam outgrew Dean in height and muscle mass, although they change it up for fun sometimes during their down time. Either way, Sam loves this. He loves their ridiculous, ostentatious costumes, the lights, the noise, the rush. He loves jumping from the board in what seems to be a carefree manner to many onlookers simply because he's flying through the air, but so tightly controlled that he can see the next ten seconds playing out in front of him before they actually happen. He loves the air rushing by, loves the strain in his muscles, loves showing off how good he is at this.

Most of all, he loves flying with his big brother. He loves the implicit trust Dean has in him to catch him every single time. He loves knowing exactly where Dean is at every moment they do this, every fucking nanosecond. He loves the feeling that they are only one person, just split into two bodies.

He feels so alive on the trapeze. He can feel every muscle of his body working together in perfect tandem to do precisely what he wants them to do, and he knows that he is one of the few athletes in the world with this much fine-tuned control over himself. The human body never fails to impress him with exactly how far it can go and the crazy things it can be pushed to do.

Their act ends with Dean blindfolding himself before jumping off the board for a final trick. It's just a simple flip and catch, but they've never fucked it up, not even during practice. Sam catches his brother as easily as if his eyes were open, sends him back the same way, and then their fifteen-minute act is over. They stand on their respective boards and salute each other, the band and the audience, then take turns descending.

They get a standing ovation, which is so rare to get in the middle of the show. They stay out much longer than usual, bowing and accepting their applause.

Once backstage, there's a whole round of congratulations from techies and other performers before they can escape to their dressing room. "We fucking nailed that!" Dean shouts, and cartwheels in excitement. He grabs the back of Sam's neck and leads him to the water cooler where they re-hydrate, and towel off sweat and chalk. His footsteps are light and his grin is blinding and he can't seem to keep his hands to himself.

Sam nods enthusiastically. "Yeah, we sure did." He collapses into a chair and bats Dean's hands away when he attempts to wipe his face down, and grabs the towel from him. "Dude, I can do it myself."

Dean shrugs. "Just checking, you big baby." But he keeps his hand on Sam's biceps, gripping the muscle tightly.

It's completely understandable. After flying on the trapeze, they always have trouble switching over from their highly physical, intimate performance to being ordinary brothers again. Over the years it's become ingrained even in their daily life on the ground, but it's most prevalent directly after.

He and Dean have always been able to communicate with each other with just a touch or a look, but this thing they have together, the trapeze, it's made that awareness so much more prominent. Most group acts have a strong understanding of each other's bodies and thoughts, but they are the only siblings in their show, so their tricks tend to be more dangerous and complicated than most other's, simply because they have an added familiarity with each other.

Sam doesn't know how he used to want out of this life, how he found his closeness with his brother irritating, how he thought he would be happier always on the ground. (At Stanford, he swung on the swings as often as he could to try and recreate the free-falling feel, but it never never ever lived up.) This is the only life he can actually imagine himself living.