The end
November 3, 2016 my life forever changed. My heart was ripped out of my chest and torn in two. One piece was shoved back into my chest, and the other piece burnt up in the crematorium with Dylan. My Dylan. My soulmate. He died. He's dead. The only thing left of him is ashes... and his daughter. Yes, we had a daughter together. A daughter that will never know her father. A daughter that never even got to meet him. He died two and a half months before she was born.
Dylan. My Dylan.
Emily Dilynn Haun was born January 16. She weighed 7 pounds 3 ounces. I was in labor for less than four hours and pushed for 10 minutes at the most. She is beautiful. She looks like her daddy.
A month ago I met someone. His name is Josh. We are in a relationship. I don't know where it will go. I thought I did, but I'm not too sure anymore. He still lives with his ex who he says he hasn't been with for nearly two years. It bothers me, a lot. Today they're doing the whole Easter thing. My boyfriend is doing the whole family Easter thing... with his ex. Not me. Yeah so...
He has a daughter, so I get that his ex will always be in his life. Trust me. If anyone understands that, it's me. But... um. Yeah. I'm not feeling great today. Bitter. Bitter and sad. I don't have any Easter dinner to go to. No egg hunts. I won't even see Makayla today.
Jan is dying. Lung cancer. She's on hospice. It will be any day now... my second mom is dying.
It's one thing after another after another. There is no break. My life is a shitstorm and I've been waiting and waiting for the clouds to break and the sun to shine through but, fuck.
Nothing but darkness here.
Dylan. My Dylan.
Emily Dilynn Haun was born January 16. She weighed 7 pounds 3 ounces. I was in labor for less than four hours and pushed for 10 minutes at the most. She is beautiful. She looks like her daddy.
A month ago I met someone. His name is Josh. We are in a relationship. I don't know where it will go. I thought I did, but I'm not too sure anymore. He still lives with his ex who he says he hasn't been with for nearly two years. It bothers me, a lot. Today they're doing the whole Easter thing. My boyfriend is doing the whole family Easter thing... with his ex. Not me. Yeah so...
He has a daughter, so I get that his ex will always be in his life. Trust me. If anyone understands that, it's me. But... um. Yeah. I'm not feeling great today. Bitter. Bitter and sad. I don't have any Easter dinner to go to. No egg hunts. I won't even see Makayla today.
Jan is dying. Lung cancer. She's on hospice. It will be any day now... my second mom is dying.
It's one thing after another after another. There is no break. My life is a shitstorm and I've been waiting and waiting for the clouds to break and the sun to shine through but, fuck.
Nothing but darkness here.