Because I've had it with those commercials....
...you know, the ones where everything starts with "if you were my sister..." It's all about breast cancer.
Well, having spoken with one of my friends here at work who HAS breast cancer, and how tired even she is about hearing nothing but breast cancer breast cancer breast cancer, here are my own commercial statements. Complete with profanity.
If you were my sister, I'd tell you to keep up with your breast exams, and your mammograms, because they are helpful. BUT I would also tell you that there are other things that hurt women! I would tell you to make sure to get your yearly pap smear and gyn exam. Because it's harder to find cervical cancer. You can't exactly self-exam for that.
If you were my sister, yes, like the commercials, I would tell you that your cancer could come back, and you need to be vigilant. As I heard from a survivor recently, you never get over having cancer. But you can still live. LIVE. And dance. And sing. But you still must be vigilant.
If you were my sister, I'd tell you to have regular appointments with your doctor. Manage your cholesterol. Because HEART DISEASE is the NUMBER ONE KILLER OF WOMEN, not breast cancer. Watch your weight. Try to eat healthy, but still treat yourself. Get regular bloodwork, because that can show you other thigns that are wrong.
If you were my sister I would tell you that if you know something isn't right, but your doctor is ignoring you, GET ANOTHER DOCTOR. And another. And another. Do whatever it takes to find out what is going on. It took me six fucking months to get someone to listen to me. I'll be damned if that's ever going to happen again. The next doctor to fuck with me will rue the day they ever met me.
If you were my sister I'd tell you that I don't care how embarassing you think it is, when your doctor wants you to start having screening colonoscopy, go have it. Because colon cancer is more prevalent than you might think. And it's actually quite fun to be encouraged to fart loud and long in public. (after the test, to expel the air they fill you with, to see things. Yes, I have had one done.)
If you were my sister, I'd tell you I understand that you don't want to gain weight, and that I've seen how hard it is, but STOP FUCKING SMOKING! Because *YOU* CAN CONTROL THAT. I couldn't control getting Hodgkin's. And lung cancer has a seriously lower statistical cure rate than breast cancer.
If you were my sister, I would try to be here for you, but I wouldn't tell you what to think or how to feel. Because only YOU know what you are going through, and how you feel is valid. Because as I said above, you never get over having cancer. Whatever you are feeling is VALID, and fuck the people who try to tell you it isn't.
If you were my sister, I'd ask you to try and bear with me for getting so angry at times. Because this has been both the best and worst thing I've ever been through. And frankly, I'm never going to get over having cancer.
But I will still dance.
If you were my sister, I would tell you to dance, too.
Well, having spoken with one of my friends here at work who HAS breast cancer, and how tired even she is about hearing nothing but breast cancer breast cancer breast cancer, here are my own commercial statements. Complete with profanity.
If you were my sister, I'd tell you to keep up with your breast exams, and your mammograms, because they are helpful. BUT I would also tell you that there are other things that hurt women! I would tell you to make sure to get your yearly pap smear and gyn exam. Because it's harder to find cervical cancer. You can't exactly self-exam for that.
If you were my sister, yes, like the commercials, I would tell you that your cancer could come back, and you need to be vigilant. As I heard from a survivor recently, you never get over having cancer. But you can still live. LIVE. And dance. And sing. But you still must be vigilant.
If you were my sister, I'd tell you to have regular appointments with your doctor. Manage your cholesterol. Because HEART DISEASE is the NUMBER ONE KILLER OF WOMEN, not breast cancer. Watch your weight. Try to eat healthy, but still treat yourself. Get regular bloodwork, because that can show you other thigns that are wrong.
If you were my sister I would tell you that if you know something isn't right, but your doctor is ignoring you, GET ANOTHER DOCTOR. And another. And another. Do whatever it takes to find out what is going on. It took me six fucking months to get someone to listen to me. I'll be damned if that's ever going to happen again. The next doctor to fuck with me will rue the day they ever met me.
If you were my sister I'd tell you that I don't care how embarassing you think it is, when your doctor wants you to start having screening colonoscopy, go have it. Because colon cancer is more prevalent than you might think. And it's actually quite fun to be encouraged to fart loud and long in public. (after the test, to expel the air they fill you with, to see things. Yes, I have had one done.)
If you were my sister, I'd tell you I understand that you don't want to gain weight, and that I've seen how hard it is, but STOP FUCKING SMOKING! Because *YOU* CAN CONTROL THAT. I couldn't control getting Hodgkin's. And lung cancer has a seriously lower statistical cure rate than breast cancer.
If you were my sister, I would try to be here for you, but I wouldn't tell you what to think or how to feel. Because only YOU know what you are going through, and how you feel is valid. Because as I said above, you never get over having cancer. Whatever you are feeling is VALID, and fuck the people who try to tell you it isn't.
If you were my sister, I'd ask you to try and bear with me for getting so angry at times. Because this has been both the best and worst thing I've ever been through. And frankly, I'm never going to get over having cancer.
But I will still dance.
If you were my sister, I would tell you to dance, too.