When the tears finally fall...it will be relief.
I've got it all just bottled her on the surface...it is waiting to break free and drown me in my own misery. I need to just mourn this thing and move on... Driving to livermore everyday is going to be a lot like ripping off a bandaid everymorning at six thirty am...but getting through this and done with school and becoming sucsessful and happy before he does is more important to me than avoiding the reminder. I wish I understood... I just have no idea whats going on... I'm tired and I'm hurting and I'm just ready to be done... I'm ready to ride out this enevitable wave of pain... I'll see you all on the other side...
I'm more than strong enough to deal with it...but I feel that I've earned that black hole that is total defeat... Let me wallow in my misery and live through the devestation of yet again being lied to and left to fend for myself at the worst time... I need to be sad... I need to cry... I need to be hurt and alone... I need to regain that strength and the resiliance that I had before he was a selfish fool and hunted me down again just because he couldn't get me out of his mind...
this isnt fun and it isnt easy...but when its finally over and done...I'll be relieved.
I'm more than strong enough to deal with it...but I feel that I've earned that black hole that is total defeat... Let me wallow in my misery and live through the devestation of yet again being lied to and left to fend for myself at the worst time... I need to be sad... I need to cry... I need to be hurt and alone... I need to regain that strength and the resiliance that I had before he was a selfish fool and hunted me down again just because he couldn't get me out of his mind...
this isnt fun and it isnt easy...but when its finally over and done...I'll be relieved.