no subject
frothy coffee
spades
kickin ass
chicken foot
a strong 4th place
evolution
dirty sheets
clean room
and thats my super bowl sunday.
slightly unfair, wholly pessimistic and just a bit hurtful.
and why i take personal offence is one of lifes greatest mysteries.
on a much more personal and philosophical note:
can i get a show of hands please?
how many of you understand what its like to look up to someone all your life, to trust them completely, and believe that if anyone had the right answer they did that they always knew what was right and then one day you realize that that person just MIGHT be wrong about something???
how bout growing up believing strongly in one thing and come to find out that that may have been ABSOLUTELY wrong.
im torn not just between two points of view but between members of my family. im trying to live with my foot on ether side of the crack all while eating an ice cream cone.
i know none of this makes any sense fortunately for you i dont expect any of it to.
i believe very strongly that the "church" as society understands it today is set up to fail. it is no longer based on biblical principles but seeped in tradition, controlled by fear, and filled with people who refuse to take personal responsibility for their lives and relationships....where does that leave me? what does that mean for me??? i dont even have any complete assurance that i am right only personal experience and observations.
awhile ago i was driving past this church by my house that is adding on the most enormous addition and it just made me so angry. all i could think is how many people could be fed with that money how many people could have a home how many lives could really be touched. but the "church" has withdrawn from our society a large percentage of Christians have circled the wagons staying safe in there own little circle. that is MOST defiantly not what Jesus did. he was out there he offended the "religious" people of his day. i dont believe that that is ALL churches or ALL Christians. and do i think i make a difference that i am any different...no...i dedicated more than 8 years of my life to a church and now its gone. though i know that there is a reason for that and i honestly dont regret it im not ready to rush in and try the same thing all over again.
but what to do instead????
i understand now that (and though this seems obvious its not in Christian culture) its God i serve, God i follow, God i put my faith in not man not a pastor or pastors wife. i also now understand that much of my time and money is much better spent outside the church affecting people where they really live and breath. but HOW. how when that is not "traditionally" acceptable.
i have this deep desire within me to make a lasting impact on peoples lives especially on my generation. i always have. sometime it haunts me. many times it tares at me. so many times i have wept in desperation for so many hurting people. but what do i do.
i know God will tell me i know he knows its just hard to wait as each piece is put into place, slowly, little by little.
i know so very little and i am so very weak. more than anything i feel pulled in so many different directions.
*sigh* thats just some of the things that run round and round in my head. sorry its so confusing for all who made it to this point. you shouldnt have read the whole thing its bad for you.
spades
kickin ass
chicken foot
a strong 4th place
evolution
dirty sheets
clean room
and thats my super bowl sunday.
slightly unfair, wholly pessimistic and just a bit hurtful.
and why i take personal offence is one of lifes greatest mysteries.
on a much more personal and philosophical note:
can i get a show of hands please?
how many of you understand what its like to look up to someone all your life, to trust them completely, and believe that if anyone had the right answer they did that they always knew what was right and then one day you realize that that person just MIGHT be wrong about something???
how bout growing up believing strongly in one thing and come to find out that that may have been ABSOLUTELY wrong.
im torn not just between two points of view but between members of my family. im trying to live with my foot on ether side of the crack all while eating an ice cream cone.
i know none of this makes any sense fortunately for you i dont expect any of it to.
i believe very strongly that the "church" as society understands it today is set up to fail. it is no longer based on biblical principles but seeped in tradition, controlled by fear, and filled with people who refuse to take personal responsibility for their lives and relationships....where does that leave me? what does that mean for me??? i dont even have any complete assurance that i am right only personal experience and observations.
awhile ago i was driving past this church by my house that is adding on the most enormous addition and it just made me so angry. all i could think is how many people could be fed with that money how many people could have a home how many lives could really be touched. but the "church" has withdrawn from our society a large percentage of Christians have circled the wagons staying safe in there own little circle. that is MOST defiantly not what Jesus did. he was out there he offended the "religious" people of his day. i dont believe that that is ALL churches or ALL Christians. and do i think i make a difference that i am any different...no...i dedicated more than 8 years of my life to a church and now its gone. though i know that there is a reason for that and i honestly dont regret it im not ready to rush in and try the same thing all over again.
but what to do instead????
i understand now that (and though this seems obvious its not in Christian culture) its God i serve, God i follow, God i put my faith in not man not a pastor or pastors wife. i also now understand that much of my time and money is much better spent outside the church affecting people where they really live and breath. but HOW. how when that is not "traditionally" acceptable.
i have this deep desire within me to make a lasting impact on peoples lives especially on my generation. i always have. sometime it haunts me. many times it tares at me. so many times i have wept in desperation for so many hurting people. but what do i do.
i know God will tell me i know he knows its just hard to wait as each piece is put into place, slowly, little by little.
i know so very little and i am so very weak. more than anything i feel pulled in so many different directions.
*sigh* thats just some of the things that run round and round in my head. sorry its so confusing for all who made it to this point. you shouldnt have read the whole thing its bad for you.