my fiend stole my sweetheart from me
last night arash and I went to eat at some japanese restuarant in squirrel hill, aka gjt. hilarity ensued:
okay, so first of all, this restaurant is about 500 sq ft and it's apparently the "best sushi in pittsburgh," accoring to the accolades in newspapers shellacked to the wall, so it's a bit crowded. when we get in there are two guys standing inside the 20 sq ft waiting-for-a-table space. one of them is all "we have a party of six and we've been waiting for a while." I was like, "ooh, do you want a medal?" but arash was like, "well there are only two of us, so maybe we'll get a table." one of the guys kind of snorted and said, "ha. okay." three seconds later, I learned that they sometimes go to maryland, arash's home state, to get sushi. a boring discussion ensued about sushi in maryland, of which one of the guys praised, cryptically, when arash asked how this place compared to maryland: "well, one of my friends spent a semester in japan. and she said that the sushi in maryland was better than the sushi there." five minutes later I would learn that he is either a complete liar (re: having a female friend) or that his friend is really into anime. a few minutes later, some japanese guys got served some flambeed food. obviously, it was on fire when delivered to the table. arash was all, "ha. food on fire." and one of the guys was like, "fire?! where?!" so arash moved so that the guy could properly view the fire. it was a very small fire, nothing impressive, but this guy was still like, "oh my god! it's on FIRE!" at which point I was like, "I hate him." then he opens the door and leans out and shouts to the other memebers of his dinner party, "it's on fire!" without bothering to mention the specific subject of his sentence, as is the way of nerds. the only reason I would ever be vague about "what" was on fire, if announcing it to my friends, was if it was my hair or something obvious, and I was too distraught to directly ask for their help. anyway, at that point I gave arash a look like, "I hate him." and arash gave me a look like, "haha. someone nerdier than I." and I was like, "yeah. no wonder it took us like 3 months to find him."
a little later, after the d&d party of six (who requested six seperate checks, even though two of them appeared to be married and one of the party looked to be the married couple's daughter) was seated, it was just me, arash, and three ladies on a girls'-night-out standing around waiting. then an asian couple (could have been japanese, but I have no idea) walked in and went right up the hostess. now, arash and I had been waiting for at least forty-five minutes, and the three ladies for at least half an hour. and the hostess looked like she was giving preference to the asian couple. one of the ladies, dressed in nurse's scrubs, voced all of our inner monologues by saying, "I have too many beers in me to stand by while this racism takes place." I agreed. so did arash. so did her friends. I think the hostess heard her, because she was all, "oh... who was here first?" and the ladies were like, pointing ot me and arash, "first them, then us, then those two" (pointing to the asian couple) and the hostess was all, "oh..." you could tell she wanted to seat them first. and, I would later learn, with understandable reason...
eventually arash and I got seated, ordered, etc. then a couple sat down next to us. now, the restaurant was seriously like 500 sq ft, and there was only a chinsy bamboo divider separating us from these people, so it's not like I was spying. much. but they sat down, probably around my age, and the guy was all, "this place is expensive." they were jewish. I could tell by his appearance and also by his gold-mongering speech. I'm sorry, lovah, I know that you're not a steryotypical gold-mongering jew, and that most probably aren't, but people like this couple create a bad steryotype for the rest of you. and I have nothing against jews at all. I like them. but these people were ridiculous:
the guy, who was pretty obviously with his girlfriend (also jewish) was all, "what should we get? this thing?" and he pointed to something on the menu, which I was later to learn was a $42-per-person meal, wiht soup, salad, appetizer, and sashimi/sushi platter. now, on top of being a gold-mongerer, this kid seemed to have no idea about japanese food. that's okay, I guess, except that I like to reasearch the food and culture of a particular ethnicity a little bit before I go to their restaurant. I think it's respectful to have at least basic knowledge so I don't accidentally offend anybody, and that way the waitress doesn't have to explain every little thing to me. that said, arash made fun of one of the waitresses's kimono, for which I scolded him. he's really ignorant of other cultures, for being raised in a foreign country. THAT being said, the jewish kid eventually decided that $42-per-person is outlandish (which it is) and that he would get something else. this is the ensuing conversation, involving him, his girlfriend, the waitress, and (unbeknownst to them) me and arash:
him: what's the soup [that comes with the meal]?
waitress: miso.
him: ... does that have pork in it?
waitress: ... no.
me and arash: (snicker)
waitress: (leaves)
him: I don't have enough cash on me for this place. do you?
girldfriend: yeah, but you have to pay me back. you already owe be $23 for last week and $27 from last night.
him: god. why do you have to round up?
girlfriend: I'm not. that's just how much you owe.
me and arash: (exchanging looks like, "this is golden!")
him: okay, fine... but I've already paid for so much of your shit already. you could at least cover dinner!
girlfriend: bull shit. you're the guy.
him: ... fine. man, this dinner is going to cost like $60.
girlfriend: probably. you picked the place. stop bitching to me.
me and arash: (snickering)
seriously though. jews? stoping being so particular. it's your fucking girlfriend. keep some cash on you and stop being so thrifty. and girlfriend? stop holding him accountable for every little thing. unless he bought a pair of pants and a shirt with that $23 and $27, let it go. I'm sure he pays for enough of your shit. for real. anyway, it was a pretty enteraining dinner, because there were hardcore d&d nerds, a nurse who threateded to beat up an asian couple, and money-hungry jews. it's really too bad, because while I don't really like d&d nerds, I have a soft spot for nurses (they being so helpful and all) and I love jews (my lovah being one), so it's sad to see them represented to harshly. still, though, that couple next to us was composed of interest-charging douche bags. if you are dating someone long-term (as I am assuming they are), just pay for their dinner once in a while and let it go. what if you get married? are you going to keep track of your income and theirs and split all the bills evenly? I sure hope not.
additionally, I forget what the restaurant was named, but it really was awesome food. super-good ice cream-in-rice dessert stuff. I highly recommend it.
okay, so first of all, this restaurant is about 500 sq ft and it's apparently the "best sushi in pittsburgh," accoring to the accolades in newspapers shellacked to the wall, so it's a bit crowded. when we get in there are two guys standing inside the 20 sq ft waiting-for-a-table space. one of them is all "we have a party of six and we've been waiting for a while." I was like, "ooh, do you want a medal?" but arash was like, "well there are only two of us, so maybe we'll get a table." one of the guys kind of snorted and said, "ha. okay." three seconds later, I learned that they sometimes go to maryland, arash's home state, to get sushi. a boring discussion ensued about sushi in maryland, of which one of the guys praised, cryptically, when arash asked how this place compared to maryland: "well, one of my friends spent a semester in japan. and she said that the sushi in maryland was better than the sushi there." five minutes later I would learn that he is either a complete liar (re: having a female friend) or that his friend is really into anime. a few minutes later, some japanese guys got served some flambeed food. obviously, it was on fire when delivered to the table. arash was all, "ha. food on fire." and one of the guys was like, "fire?! where?!" so arash moved so that the guy could properly view the fire. it was a very small fire, nothing impressive, but this guy was still like, "oh my god! it's on FIRE!" at which point I was like, "I hate him." then he opens the door and leans out and shouts to the other memebers of his dinner party, "it's on fire!" without bothering to mention the specific subject of his sentence, as is the way of nerds. the only reason I would ever be vague about "what" was on fire, if announcing it to my friends, was if it was my hair or something obvious, and I was too distraught to directly ask for their help. anyway, at that point I gave arash a look like, "I hate him." and arash gave me a look like, "haha. someone nerdier than I." and I was like, "yeah. no wonder it took us like 3 months to find him."
a little later, after the d&d party of six (who requested six seperate checks, even though two of them appeared to be married and one of the party looked to be the married couple's daughter) was seated, it was just me, arash, and three ladies on a girls'-night-out standing around waiting. then an asian couple (could have been japanese, but I have no idea) walked in and went right up the hostess. now, arash and I had been waiting for at least forty-five minutes, and the three ladies for at least half an hour. and the hostess looked like she was giving preference to the asian couple. one of the ladies, dressed in nurse's scrubs, voced all of our inner monologues by saying, "I have too many beers in me to stand by while this racism takes place." I agreed. so did arash. so did her friends. I think the hostess heard her, because she was all, "oh... who was here first?" and the ladies were like, pointing ot me and arash, "first them, then us, then those two" (pointing to the asian couple) and the hostess was all, "oh..." you could tell she wanted to seat them first. and, I would later learn, with understandable reason...
eventually arash and I got seated, ordered, etc. then a couple sat down next to us. now, the restaurant was seriously like 500 sq ft, and there was only a chinsy bamboo divider separating us from these people, so it's not like I was spying. much. but they sat down, probably around my age, and the guy was all, "this place is expensive." they were jewish. I could tell by his appearance and also by his gold-mongering speech. I'm sorry, lovah, I know that you're not a steryotypical gold-mongering jew, and that most probably aren't, but people like this couple create a bad steryotype for the rest of you. and I have nothing against jews at all. I like them. but these people were ridiculous:
the guy, who was pretty obviously with his girlfriend (also jewish) was all, "what should we get? this thing?" and he pointed to something on the menu, which I was later to learn was a $42-per-person meal, wiht soup, salad, appetizer, and sashimi/sushi platter. now, on top of being a gold-mongerer, this kid seemed to have no idea about japanese food. that's okay, I guess, except that I like to reasearch the food and culture of a particular ethnicity a little bit before I go to their restaurant. I think it's respectful to have at least basic knowledge so I don't accidentally offend anybody, and that way the waitress doesn't have to explain every little thing to me. that said, arash made fun of one of the waitresses's kimono, for which I scolded him. he's really ignorant of other cultures, for being raised in a foreign country. THAT being said, the jewish kid eventually decided that $42-per-person is outlandish (which it is) and that he would get something else. this is the ensuing conversation, involving him, his girlfriend, the waitress, and (unbeknownst to them) me and arash:
him: what's the soup [that comes with the meal]?
waitress: miso.
him: ... does that have pork in it?
waitress: ... no.
me and arash: (snicker)
waitress: (leaves)
him: I don't have enough cash on me for this place. do you?
girldfriend: yeah, but you have to pay me back. you already owe be $23 for last week and $27 from last night.
him: god. why do you have to round up?
girlfriend: I'm not. that's just how much you owe.
me and arash: (exchanging looks like, "this is golden!")
him: okay, fine... but I've already paid for so much of your shit already. you could at least cover dinner!
girlfriend: bull shit. you're the guy.
him: ... fine. man, this dinner is going to cost like $60.
girlfriend: probably. you picked the place. stop bitching to me.
me and arash: (snickering)
seriously though. jews? stoping being so particular. it's your fucking girlfriend. keep some cash on you and stop being so thrifty. and girlfriend? stop holding him accountable for every little thing. unless he bought a pair of pants and a shirt with that $23 and $27, let it go. I'm sure he pays for enough of your shit. for real. anyway, it was a pretty enteraining dinner, because there were hardcore d&d nerds, a nurse who threateded to beat up an asian couple, and money-hungry jews. it's really too bad, because while I don't really like d&d nerds, I have a soft spot for nurses (they being so helpful and all) and I love jews (my lovah being one), so it's sad to see them represented to harshly. still, though, that couple next to us was composed of interest-charging douche bags. if you are dating someone long-term (as I am assuming they are), just pay for their dinner once in a while and let it go. what if you get married? are you going to keep track of your income and theirs and split all the bills evenly? I sure hope not.
additionally, I forget what the restaurant was named, but it really was awesome food. super-good ice cream-in-rice dessert stuff. I highly recommend it.