(no subject)
im so glad we have tomorrow off. 4 day weeks seem so much better than 5.
i dyed sams hair today. i dunno it came out weird. but w/e. i went to marcus's on saturday. it was cool to hang out. we hadnt in a long ass time. nick and joseph were there too. i want to start hanging out with like the crowd i used to. gotta mix it up. im just fuckin bored. rouine sucks ass. im so excited i turn 16. me and crystal are going job searching a little after my birthday. i gotta get my ass a job.
i still have not smoked a cigarette. its getting harder day by day. people say the 1st few days are the hardest. but thats not true at all. see the 1st few days your ok cuz it hasent been that long. but when your getting 5 days and over. your just like FUCKIN shit i want a cigarette. everyone around smokes still. and it makes me want one more. im seriously thinking to going back. il be so disapointed in myself, its just hard. and it makes it harder quitting alone. maybe if i had someone to quit with me. but no one wants to. but i really just dont know. because one side i have there bad for you, ive up to day number 6 why give up now.. and the other which is i want one right fucking now, i want to get drunk so i can smoke cuz thats when i said i was allowed to smoke, and besides health there is no reason to quit. but health should be the reason. but even though i know all the risks, im just a teenager that thinks nothing can happen but really i know things will come of it. but at this point in my life i just dont give a fuck. but i should. HOLY SHIT i wish cigarettes wernt bad for you. my grandma has stage 4 lung cancer, from smoking. goes through chemo. and i saw what that did to her cuz she lived with us while she went through it. lost hair, was weak all the time. but she continued to smoke. sams grandma who has emphyzma from smoking. all these people around that smoking has fucked there life up. but then i got one of my grandpas who has been smoking for as long as i and my mom could remember. and is healthy as could be. and i know no one can do this for me i have to figure it all out. make my desion. and i need to quick, before the 6 days goes to 0.
i dyed sams hair today. i dunno it came out weird. but w/e. i went to marcus's on saturday. it was cool to hang out. we hadnt in a long ass time. nick and joseph were there too. i want to start hanging out with like the crowd i used to. gotta mix it up. im just fuckin bored. rouine sucks ass. im so excited i turn 16. me and crystal are going job searching a little after my birthday. i gotta get my ass a job.
i still have not smoked a cigarette. its getting harder day by day. people say the 1st few days are the hardest. but thats not true at all. see the 1st few days your ok cuz it hasent been that long. but when your getting 5 days and over. your just like FUCKIN shit i want a cigarette. everyone around smokes still. and it makes me want one more. im seriously thinking to going back. il be so disapointed in myself, its just hard. and it makes it harder quitting alone. maybe if i had someone to quit with me. but no one wants to. but i really just dont know. because one side i have there bad for you, ive up to day number 6 why give up now.. and the other which is i want one right fucking now, i want to get drunk so i can smoke cuz thats when i said i was allowed to smoke, and besides health there is no reason to quit. but health should be the reason. but even though i know all the risks, im just a teenager that thinks nothing can happen but really i know things will come of it. but at this point in my life i just dont give a fuck. but i should. HOLY SHIT i wish cigarettes wernt bad for you. my grandma has stage 4 lung cancer, from smoking. goes through chemo. and i saw what that did to her cuz she lived with us while she went through it. lost hair, was weak all the time. but she continued to smoke. sams grandma who has emphyzma from smoking. all these people around that smoking has fucked there life up. but then i got one of my grandpas who has been smoking for as long as i and my mom could remember. and is healthy as could be. and i know no one can do this for me i have to figure it all out. make my desion. and i need to quick, before the 6 days goes to 0.