you were always my favorite (part 2)
Brendon managed to nod his head a little bit, not at all trusting himself to speak.
“What happened?” Spencer edged a bit closer and Ryan tightened his arms around Brendon like he was trying to protect Brendon from all the bad in the world.
“It was an accident,” Brendon whispered. “I didn’t mean to. It just kinda...slipped out.”
“What, Brendon? What happened?”
“They were questioning my choice in friends. You guys. And I...You’ve got to believe me, I didn’t mean to...”
“What’d you say, Bren?” Ryan whispered.
“I told them I was gay. And that Shane was my first boyfriend. And they...they...”
Brendon couldn’t see Spencer’s eyes, as well as Jon and Ryan’s fill with horror and pain. Because, in essence, this was their fault.
“What happened?”
“They kicked me out.”
Spencer started at Brendon as he spoke. Brendon just looked and sounded so tired with his own existence. It was the equivalent of shooting Spencer through the heart and then reaching back in for the bullet.
Jon, after a few minutes of driving in silence expect for Brendon’s whimpers and sniffles, pulled the car into the apartment building complex he and Ryan lived in. After turning the car off Jon climbed into the back with the other three, coming to sit on the other side of Spencer. Spencer reached out to stroke Brendon’s hip and whimpered when Brendon flinched a little. Ryan laid his head on Brendon’s shoulder and Spencer slid closer to the two of them so he could also wrap his arms around Brendon’s waist. Jon reached past Spencer to clamp a strong hand on Brendon’s hip. All of them saw a flicker of a smile pass over Brendon’s face. It only had a small fraction of the happiness and joy of Brendon’s usual smiles.
It took them awhile to notice of badly Brendon, as well as themselves, were shaking. They were shaking from the cold but Brendon... Ryan and Spencer’s eyes connect for a moment before Ryan shifted Brendon off his lap and onto Spencer’s. Brendon immediately put his arms around Spencer’s neck and buried his head in the crook of Spencer’s neck. Ryan climbed out of the car and so did Jon on Spencer’s other side. Spencer slid out last, keeping Brendon close to him as he did so. Brendon whimpered quietly when they stepped back out into the rain but Spencer headed strait towards Jon and Ryan’s apartment, wishing he would wake up from this nightmare.
It was only when Spencer was facing the apartment door that he realized he didn’t have a key. He gritted his teeth and turned to see Jon hurrying towards them, Ryan close on his heels. As Jon approached Spencer took a step back without being asked. The key hit the lock and a moment later the door swung open. They let Spencer go first, Brendon still in his arms. The warm air from the apartment hit them all in waves and Brendon shuddered, clutching Spencer so tightly that Spencer had no doubt the if he let go, not that he would, Brendon wouldn’t fall much less move.
Ryan hovered at Spencer’s shoulders, clearly not knowing what to do. Spencer knew Ryan wanted to help but Ryan was never good with dealing with people that were broken.
“Brendon,” Ryan whispered in a pained voice.
Brendon opened his big doe eyes and looked at curiously at Ryan. Ryan made a pained noise as Brendon did so, seeing all the pain, hurt, and confusion swirling in their the depths.
“Where did I go wrong?” Brendon whispered. “Where did I start doing unforgivable things?”
“Never,” Jon said, coming to stand closely behind Ryan. “You haven’t done anything wrong.”
“Of course I have,” Brendon tried to laugh a little but it was a hollow sound. “I obviously have.”
“No,” Ryan said firmly, “you haven’t done anything wrong. This isn’t your fault.”
“Let’s everyone get in dry clothes,” Spencer said firmly. “The last thing we need is for any of us to get sick.”
“I have some clothes in my suitcase,” Brendon whispered into the crook of Spencer’s neck.
“I assume you’re staying here tonight?” Ryan asked, walking backwards towards his room. Spencer nodded. “Jon, can you get him something? I don’t think anything of mine will fit.”
Spencer watched Brendon as they waited for Ryan and Jon to come back. His dark eyes were flickering around the room, almost anxiously. He was fidgeting with his hands in his lap, wringing them together. His right leg was bouncing up in down so fast it looked like it was vibrating.
“Brendon...”
Even through all the shaking Spencer saw Brendon jump a few inches in the air and start to shake harder. Spencer reached over and flipped open Brendon’s suitcase to find that everything in it had magically stayed dry. Grabbing everything Brendon would need Spencer pulled Brendon up and to the bathroom to change. Spencer was almost afraid to move Brendon since they were both shaking so bad but he figured Brendon would be better off just getting out of these clothes.
“S-s-spencer,” Brendon started.
“Go,” Spencer ordered. He thought Brendon was going to argue with him but he just nodded and took the clothes out of Spencer’s hands and closed the door behind himself. Jon walked down the hall he’d disappeared down a few minutes ago, now dressed in sweat pants, a T-shirt, and a hoodie, and handed Spencer similar attire.
“Thanks,” Spencer murmured. “Hey, can you do me a favor? Can you wait for Bren here?”
“Yeah, of course,” Jon pressed his side to the door frame, eyes tainted on to the door.
“What happened?” Spencer edged a bit closer and Ryan tightened his arms around Brendon like he was trying to protect Brendon from all the bad in the world.
“It was an accident,” Brendon whispered. “I didn’t mean to. It just kinda...slipped out.”
“What, Brendon? What happened?”
“They were questioning my choice in friends. You guys. And I...You’ve got to believe me, I didn’t mean to...”
“What’d you say, Bren?” Ryan whispered.
“I told them I was gay. And that Shane was my first boyfriend. And they...they...”
Brendon couldn’t see Spencer’s eyes, as well as Jon and Ryan’s fill with horror and pain. Because, in essence, this was their fault.
“What happened?”
“They kicked me out.”
Spencer started at Brendon as he spoke. Brendon just looked and sounded so tired with his own existence. It was the equivalent of shooting Spencer through the heart and then reaching back in for the bullet.
Jon, after a few minutes of driving in silence expect for Brendon’s whimpers and sniffles, pulled the car into the apartment building complex he and Ryan lived in. After turning the car off Jon climbed into the back with the other three, coming to sit on the other side of Spencer. Spencer reached out to stroke Brendon’s hip and whimpered when Brendon flinched a little. Ryan laid his head on Brendon’s shoulder and Spencer slid closer to the two of them so he could also wrap his arms around Brendon’s waist. Jon reached past Spencer to clamp a strong hand on Brendon’s hip. All of them saw a flicker of a smile pass over Brendon’s face. It only had a small fraction of the happiness and joy of Brendon’s usual smiles.
It took them awhile to notice of badly Brendon, as well as themselves, were shaking. They were shaking from the cold but Brendon... Ryan and Spencer’s eyes connect for a moment before Ryan shifted Brendon off his lap and onto Spencer’s. Brendon immediately put his arms around Spencer’s neck and buried his head in the crook of Spencer’s neck. Ryan climbed out of the car and so did Jon on Spencer’s other side. Spencer slid out last, keeping Brendon close to him as he did so. Brendon whimpered quietly when they stepped back out into the rain but Spencer headed strait towards Jon and Ryan’s apartment, wishing he would wake up from this nightmare.
It was only when Spencer was facing the apartment door that he realized he didn’t have a key. He gritted his teeth and turned to see Jon hurrying towards them, Ryan close on his heels. As Jon approached Spencer took a step back without being asked. The key hit the lock and a moment later the door swung open. They let Spencer go first, Brendon still in his arms. The warm air from the apartment hit them all in waves and Brendon shuddered, clutching Spencer so tightly that Spencer had no doubt the if he let go, not that he would, Brendon wouldn’t fall much less move.
Ryan hovered at Spencer’s shoulders, clearly not knowing what to do. Spencer knew Ryan wanted to help but Ryan was never good with dealing with people that were broken.
“Brendon,” Ryan whispered in a pained voice.
Brendon opened his big doe eyes and looked at curiously at Ryan. Ryan made a pained noise as Brendon did so, seeing all the pain, hurt, and confusion swirling in their the depths.
“Where did I go wrong?” Brendon whispered. “Where did I start doing unforgivable things?”
“Never,” Jon said, coming to stand closely behind Ryan. “You haven’t done anything wrong.”
“Of course I have,” Brendon tried to laugh a little but it was a hollow sound. “I obviously have.”
“No,” Ryan said firmly, “you haven’t done anything wrong. This isn’t your fault.”
“Let’s everyone get in dry clothes,” Spencer said firmly. “The last thing we need is for any of us to get sick.”
“I have some clothes in my suitcase,” Brendon whispered into the crook of Spencer’s neck.
“I assume you’re staying here tonight?” Ryan asked, walking backwards towards his room. Spencer nodded. “Jon, can you get him something? I don’t think anything of mine will fit.”
Spencer watched Brendon as they waited for Ryan and Jon to come back. His dark eyes were flickering around the room, almost anxiously. He was fidgeting with his hands in his lap, wringing them together. His right leg was bouncing up in down so fast it looked like it was vibrating.
“Brendon...”
Even through all the shaking Spencer saw Brendon jump a few inches in the air and start to shake harder. Spencer reached over and flipped open Brendon’s suitcase to find that everything in it had magically stayed dry. Grabbing everything Brendon would need Spencer pulled Brendon up and to the bathroom to change. Spencer was almost afraid to move Brendon since they were both shaking so bad but he figured Brendon would be better off just getting out of these clothes.
“S-s-spencer,” Brendon started.
“Go,” Spencer ordered. He thought Brendon was going to argue with him but he just nodded and took the clothes out of Spencer’s hands and closed the door behind himself. Jon walked down the hall he’d disappeared down a few minutes ago, now dressed in sweat pants, a T-shirt, and a hoodie, and handed Spencer similar attire.
“Thanks,” Spencer murmured. “Hey, can you do me a favor? Can you wait for Bren here?”
“Yeah, of course,” Jon pressed his side to the door frame, eyes tainted on to the door.