This has been hiding on my computer for a very long time
“Mmm?”
“I love you.”
“I love you too, Brendon.”
Brendon settled back against Ryan again, curling his body around Ryan’s much boney one. Resting his head on Ryan’s should, Brendon sighed in bliss.
“Ryan?” Brendon asked hesitantly after a few minutes of silence.
Ryan set down his book softly after seeing the look on Brendon’s face and gave Brendon his full attention while nodding for him to continue.
“Jon and Spencer love each other, right?”
“Of course they do. You know that.”
Ryan studied Brendon, wondering if something was wrong. “Don’t you?”
Brendon avoided his eye.
“Bren?”
Ryan gently tilted Brendon’s face towards him.
“What’s wrong? Are you hurt? Did someone threaten you? You’ve got to talk to me for me to know what’s wrong.”
“No, nothing like that. I’m just worried that since everything is going right for once, something bad is going to happen...”
“Oh, Brendon...” Ryan wound his arms around Brendon’s neck, feeling Brendon’s uneven breathing against the base of his neck.
“If Jon and/or Spencer do anything stupid you and I will personally lock them in a closet until they work it out. I doubt we’ll need to, though. They’re both completely caught up in each that I’m not sure even Pete could break them up.”
Ryan felt Brendon nod slowly into his neck.
“Ryan?”
“Yes, Brendon?”
“I...I want you to know something about me.”
“Okay.”
“You remember that first Christmas we spent together?”
“Of course.”
“That’s when I knew I was gay. I’d suspected for a while but that night was when I realized it. When I realized I loved you.”
Ryan looked at Brendon, studying him, making sure he had heard right. But after a few seconds of silence, Brendon tilted his head up to look Ryan in the eye, big doe eyes showing Ryan how utterly fragile Brendon was.
“Are you serious, Brendon?” This moment felt too significant to use nick-names.
Brendon nodded wordlessly, looking at Ryan in such a way that Ryan had to firmly remind himself that the world did not, in fact, revolve around him.
Ryan Ross was, for once in his life, at a loss for words. So, he did the only logical thing he could think of.
He kissed him.
Gently, with long calloused finger stretching across Brendon’s jaw and just resting there for a moment before reaching down and lacing their fingers together.
Utterly earth shattering with lips sliding together perfectly, touching softly everywhere possible and the feeling of loving and being loved in return.
And perfect in every was for both Ryan and Brendon.
For Brendon, if felt like full acceptance.
For Ryan, it was knowing Brendon would always be there.
“Bren,” Ryan whispered, resting his forehead against Brendon’s.
“Yeah,” Brendon whispered back, feeling the need to be quiet for once.
“You know I love you, right? Forever and always, no matter what happens. I will always love you.”
“I know, Ry. I love you too.”
And so Brendon curled around Ryan again, careful not disturb their interlocked hands and encouraged Ryan to continue reading because, hello, he had been reading that too.
But Ryan just shook his head and curled himself around Brendon, book long forgotten.
“Seriously, I was reading that to Ryan.”
“I love you.”
“I love you too, Brendon.”
Brendon settled back against Ryan again, curling his body around Ryan’s much boney one. Resting his head on Ryan’s should, Brendon sighed in bliss.
“Ryan?” Brendon asked hesitantly after a few minutes of silence.
Ryan set down his book softly after seeing the look on Brendon’s face and gave Brendon his full attention while nodding for him to continue.
“Jon and Spencer love each other, right?”
“Of course they do. You know that.”
Ryan studied Brendon, wondering if something was wrong. “Don’t you?”
Brendon avoided his eye.
“Bren?”
Ryan gently tilted Brendon’s face towards him.
“What’s wrong? Are you hurt? Did someone threaten you? You’ve got to talk to me for me to know what’s wrong.”
“No, nothing like that. I’m just worried that since everything is going right for once, something bad is going to happen...”
“Oh, Brendon...” Ryan wound his arms around Brendon’s neck, feeling Brendon’s uneven breathing against the base of his neck.
“If Jon and/or Spencer do anything stupid you and I will personally lock them in a closet until they work it out. I doubt we’ll need to, though. They’re both completely caught up in each that I’m not sure even Pete could break them up.”
Ryan felt Brendon nod slowly into his neck.
“Ryan?”
“Yes, Brendon?”
“I...I want you to know something about me.”
“Okay.”
“You remember that first Christmas we spent together?”
“Of course.”
“That’s when I knew I was gay. I’d suspected for a while but that night was when I realized it. When I realized I loved you.”
Ryan looked at Brendon, studying him, making sure he had heard right. But after a few seconds of silence, Brendon tilted his head up to look Ryan in the eye, big doe eyes showing Ryan how utterly fragile Brendon was.
“Are you serious, Brendon?” This moment felt too significant to use nick-names.
Brendon nodded wordlessly, looking at Ryan in such a way that Ryan had to firmly remind himself that the world did not, in fact, revolve around him.
Ryan Ross was, for once in his life, at a loss for words. So, he did the only logical thing he could think of.
He kissed him.
Gently, with long calloused finger stretching across Brendon’s jaw and just resting there for a moment before reaching down and lacing their fingers together.
Utterly earth shattering with lips sliding together perfectly, touching softly everywhere possible and the feeling of loving and being loved in return.
And perfect in every was for both Ryan and Brendon.
For Brendon, if felt like full acceptance.
For Ryan, it was knowing Brendon would always be there.
“Bren,” Ryan whispered, resting his forehead against Brendon’s.
“Yeah,” Brendon whispered back, feeling the need to be quiet for once.
“You know I love you, right? Forever and always, no matter what happens. I will always love you.”
“I know, Ry. I love you too.”
And so Brendon curled around Ryan again, careful not disturb their interlocked hands and encouraged Ryan to continue reading because, hello, he had been reading that too.
But Ryan just shook his head and curled himself around Brendon, book long forgotten.
“Seriously, I was reading that to Ryan.”