Sep 19, 2007 13:17
i stayed home today. i couldn't stand the thought of getting dressed and putting on makeup and riding my bike forever. i didn't want to research lobotomies for an hour while my entire class talked and played on their laptops. i didn't want to read less than zero for an hour or do math questions while my math class took a test. i didn't want to sit alone through my spare and through lunch. it's better to be alone at home than in a school with a thousand people, especially when he is there, somewhere. i didn't want to sit in front of eight girls who sound like twelve year olds, talking about sluts and boys. i don't want to do any of this ever again. i want last semester back.
i feel really sick and i had a dream i threw up. i thought it was real. i also had a dream i was getting a new cat from an apartment at the top of this really neat twisty building. the elevators were outside, little pods, i guess, and they were made of glass. they didn't have a door. my sister and i got in first while my parents or whoever talked to whoever in the building. the cord or whatever it's called that pulls the pod up, it snapped and the elevator was jerked upside down. i was afraid. we dangled there for i don't even know how long. i thought i was going to die. i was afraid, but i was happy. then i woke up. ugh.
i love getting fucking yelled at and harassed and questioned all day.
i'm going to lose 5lbs this week.
i have to stop thinking. i have to stop being like this. i wish this month would end.