ego loss
i don't ever really update because i don't think i have anything to say. i just got back from the park. i strapped shoes on my feet grabbed my bat and a ball and went for a jog. the moment i stepped onto the dirt i knelt over and cried. its the first time in 2 years i was going to hit a ball. I threw it up and swung blindly. I MISSED. it sorta put into retrospect what the last 2 years of my life had looked like. a swing n a miss! no plan and no idea what i was doing just a blind shot in the dark. I laughed and picked up my ball. tossed it again and tipped it. the ball went about 30 feet. Jogged after it. picked it up and hit it again. jogged after it. progressively i got better and decided i was getting the hang of it. so i picked up the ball through good and level and swung as hard as i could. barely hit the ball and fell straight on my ass. the life lessons one can learn on the field all alone. I have high hopes for my future, with goals plans and i deas. I have something to strive for, something i want so bad it hurts to think of myself without it. This is what forward really feels like. Excercise has become my meditation, and chasing my own balls and falling on my ass will give my ego a run for its money.