I don't know why I'm writing in this again.
It just felt like a good idea. There is so much on my mind these days. School is eating my soul, every day. The other day I looked at pictures of summer, and I missed it so badly that my stomach started hurting. I'm dying for some consistant happiness.
I saw both ian and dave today. Seeing dave was just very comical, seeing ian was slightly painful. I was that kind of nervous where you just talk rapidly, about nothing important. It doesn't help that I'm running on less than two hours of sleep, and a great deal of black coffee.
I picked up 60 mg of adderall from him, even though I promised I'd never touch that shit again. I need it now, just for a few days, to get me back on track. I'm thinking about smoking a cigarette right now, and wishing I hadn't quit. I wish for cigarettes every damn day, and it's fucking pathetic. I really want to see ian, and talk to him about everything, my life, but I don't think I can without it getting complicated.
My love life is complicated enough as it is, I don't need to give him any ideas about us. This is a really pointless bunch of bullshit.
I saw both ian and dave today. Seeing dave was just very comical, seeing ian was slightly painful. I was that kind of nervous where you just talk rapidly, about nothing important. It doesn't help that I'm running on less than two hours of sleep, and a great deal of black coffee.
I picked up 60 mg of adderall from him, even though I promised I'd never touch that shit again. I need it now, just for a few days, to get me back on track. I'm thinking about smoking a cigarette right now, and wishing I hadn't quit. I wish for cigarettes every damn day, and it's fucking pathetic. I really want to see ian, and talk to him about everything, my life, but I don't think I can without it getting complicated.
My love life is complicated enough as it is, I don't need to give him any ideas about us. This is a really pointless bunch of bullshit.