it's been a while...
wow i havn't written in here in a good few months, but today, since it's the easter holidays and i have a bit of time to myself i felt the urge to write.
I don't remember my last entry exactly, and i'm far to lazy to go check, but i take back anything bad i may have said about uni, it's awesome and i love it.
I'm sad it's nearly over for the year, and that i'll have to say bye to the amazing people i've met, and got so used to seeing day in and day out.
They're the kind of people who would do anything for you, who you can count on no matter what, who make me genuinely smile and laugh all the time.
Every day i find myself changing just a little bit more, i'm still as impatient as ever, i still have my sarcastic humour and all those things, but i no longer have bitchy girls or pseudo friends to contend with, or comments aimed at you that are meant to be 'funny', but you're never quite sure if they really mean it or not. It's refreshing.
I really don't care what people think of me anymore, i don't think twice about singing or dancing or running in the street, what people would think about the clothes i wear or how my hair is.
But i don't feel like i'm not me anymore, i feel like i'm actually me now and it's nice.
The people i've met like me because i'm me. They don't tell me they love me in spite of me being hyper and weird and different, they tell me it's because i am all these things and that's what makes me special.
Close-girl-friends-wise i still see jennie as often as possible, but that is about it, last time we were together in a group i found my mind wandering to my uni friends. The things we talked about that day just reminded me of how much i've changed...we didn't have alot in common anymore, the stories we told didnt involve the same people, and nothng i said seemed of value or interest to anyone but me. I rememebered thinking 'oh, i have to remember to tell jo that later'...or 'liya would love this' and smiling to myself.
And i also remember, painful as it is to admit, that i didn't really like the stacey i saw that day, she barely spoke to me, she acted like i'd done something wrong all day and it was the first time i'd felt uncomfortable around these girls, the girls i've known for years, who i thought would be there for years to come.
I still have love for my old friends, but they're not always there, and they can't always be. I get that, i do. Some things get left behind and it comes to a point where you can either move on or get left behind with it.
Uni-work-wise things are going awesomely too, i had my oral exam this tuesday and i was more shocked than anyone when one of my lecturers gave me 80 for my debate. He said it was a clear first class and that he had enjoyed listening to me alot. He then went on to say i was doing really well and had great potential, i was so taken back i didn't know what to say, out of 200 or more people he actually took note of who i was.
Only two more exams left to go. I hope i keep up to the expectations now.
miss you guys loads, sorry i havn't been around alot <3
I don't remember my last entry exactly, and i'm far to lazy to go check, but i take back anything bad i may have said about uni, it's awesome and i love it.
I'm sad it's nearly over for the year, and that i'll have to say bye to the amazing people i've met, and got so used to seeing day in and day out.
They're the kind of people who would do anything for you, who you can count on no matter what, who make me genuinely smile and laugh all the time.
Every day i find myself changing just a little bit more, i'm still as impatient as ever, i still have my sarcastic humour and all those things, but i no longer have bitchy girls or pseudo friends to contend with, or comments aimed at you that are meant to be 'funny', but you're never quite sure if they really mean it or not. It's refreshing.
I really don't care what people think of me anymore, i don't think twice about singing or dancing or running in the street, what people would think about the clothes i wear or how my hair is.
But i don't feel like i'm not me anymore, i feel like i'm actually me now and it's nice.
The people i've met like me because i'm me. They don't tell me they love me in spite of me being hyper and weird and different, they tell me it's because i am all these things and that's what makes me special.
Close-girl-friends-wise i still see jennie as often as possible, but that is about it, last time we were together in a group i found my mind wandering to my uni friends. The things we talked about that day just reminded me of how much i've changed...we didn't have alot in common anymore, the stories we told didnt involve the same people, and nothng i said seemed of value or interest to anyone but me. I rememebered thinking 'oh, i have to remember to tell jo that later'...or 'liya would love this' and smiling to myself.
And i also remember, painful as it is to admit, that i didn't really like the stacey i saw that day, she barely spoke to me, she acted like i'd done something wrong all day and it was the first time i'd felt uncomfortable around these girls, the girls i've known for years, who i thought would be there for years to come.
I still have love for my old friends, but they're not always there, and they can't always be. I get that, i do. Some things get left behind and it comes to a point where you can either move on or get left behind with it.
Uni-work-wise things are going awesomely too, i had my oral exam this tuesday and i was more shocked than anyone when one of my lecturers gave me 80 for my debate. He said it was a clear first class and that he had enjoyed listening to me alot. He then went on to say i was doing really well and had great potential, i was so taken back i didn't know what to say, out of 200 or more people he actually took note of who i was.
Only two more exams left to go. I hope i keep up to the expectations now.
miss you guys loads, sorry i havn't been around alot <3