Prompt #30: Moar Freewriting

[flutttterby]

Hello, all! This is my last post as mod here! Thank you all for making it such a lovely experience :)
And writing2death will do a wonderful job :):)

Picture prompt this week!
Pictures are behind the

Comments

[simsbabii12]

My sister always used to love butterflies, even when she turned 13 and she wasn't supposed to like them. She would wear t-shirts with butterflies on them, butterfly earrings, everything. Her favorite, though, was a necklace with a saying about butterfly wishes.

And she always made me promise to tell mom and dad that she wanted to be buried in our tiny church's graveyard when she died. And that she wanted butterflies to be released over her grave.

So that's what I did when she was killed at the age of 16. She was killed because she liked girls instead of liking boys.

At her funeral, after the sad songs and our march out to the tiny church graveyard, but before they had the chance to lower her into the ground, I took a wooden crate with three dozen mason jars and handed each person a jar until the only human present not holding one was my sister.

"My sister," I began, "always loved butterflies. When I was a little kid, she taught me that if you made a wish on a butterfly, it would come true. But mine never did. My wish was for my big sister to live forever. For her to be at my wedding, embarassing me. For her to be there to meet her first niece or nephew. But a rusted pipe and a few hateful kids took my wish away."

I paused, letting my words sink in. "So I'm making my last wish in honor of what could have been. And I want all of you to make a wish too."

Slowly, I unscrewed the plastic yellow lid and whispered my wish as the butterfly flew away. It wasn't for some miracle to bring my sister back. It was what she would have wanted me to wish for.

I wished for Jason Matthews to ask me out.

I turned around and joined the crowd of mourning black sparrows as the men lowered my sister into the ground and we sang 'Temporary Home', which had been my sister's favorite.

After the service, when everybody had left to go back to grandma's house for funeral food, I looked at my sister's shiny mahogany casket. One of the butterflies had landed on it, and I knew that she was happy where she was.

"I love you Morgan."

[jetster]

Nice piece!

I would have liked a bit more about the whole Jason Matthews wish, it didn't sit right in there, and because of that I wondered momentarily if you stuck it in there to show that you clearly thought about each picture (unlike mine which was prompted by the first picture but only vaguely relates to it :/) I think something about Jason Matthews needs to be included earlier, or something about the character's relationship with her sister a little earlier, rather than the focus solely on building up the character of the sister. Otherwise it sticks out because there's nothing to really introduce the concept, and there's no follow up either.

I love the way you've used the images of the butterflies though, it's really sweet :)

[simsbabii12]

I wrote this in part with another piece in which Jason IS a big character. So I guess, taken out of context, the Jason thing is a little out of place.

The story was all about the sister because of my other piece. Up until the point that the sister dies, nobody knows anything about my character's sister except what the character recounts in memories or dreams. This is meant as the ending scene, so things would seem out of place.

Thanks for your comment anyways, though :)

[flutttterby]

I liked this :)
Thank so much for filling the prompt!