In which I use two LJ cuts and feel kind of sad
So, I figure I'll go back and write about what I didn't say over vacation that probably needs to be done. So, a player on my high school's hockey team had a heart attack (or such) right before New Years, and he unfortunately died. I did not know him, but of course, I feel for his family and girlfriend and his teammates. At the get go, I had this serves the stupid teenager right mindset because I'd assumed it was something involving alcohol or maybe driving a car really fast, or both, then I found out what really did him in, and then (thanks to Slaughter House 5, I got the "So it goes" view and moved on quite quickly. I found out when people started positing all the RIP statuses on Facebook, so I ask my friend Katie who died. She said Matt (last name here); I say he sounds vaguely familiar, and she responds Well it should he was in our grade with this tone (I've known her for about 12 years, so I can read her tone over the internet) that's just kind of mean to me and believes me to be insensitive. I don't keep tabs on everyone in my grade; I was never in classes with him, not friends with the same people (closest I ever got was being in a math class with his girlfriend who wasn't his girlfriend at the time), and I don't follow my school sports.
We get back on Monday, and there's a moment of silence over the morning announcements. People are leaving classes all through the day to go attend the funeral. I'm not going because I didn't know him. I was sitting with some of my friends in study hall in the cafe, and the hockey team is gathered on the other side of the room, waiting for the bus to take them to the funeral. My friend tells us this really funny story about how he almost got into a knife fight over vacation, and all of us laugh (we're prone to doing that). I can see us getting the dirtiest looks from just about everyone else in the cafeteria because we're laughing. I actually felt insulted by that because everyone else seemed to think that everyone should be somber; pardon me, but I had my mourning already (it lasted about half an hour, which is pretty good for a guy I didn't know) and I'm not going to his funeral because that is a real douchebag move right there. Someone tell me I'm not wrong in thinking that (or tell me I am and give some reasons, I dunno) the world goes on and everyone grieves for some amount of time, some times are very short, so it goes.
So, there's next to no one in my classes (I was the ONLY person in English, all the other eight people were gone, so I had a relaxed time doing the work I'd forgotten to do over break) then in Senior Seminar, it was me and four friends. We spent the whole time discussing, I'm proud to say, pretty high level ideas about the human condition and philosophy and whether it is better to strive for an unattainable goal, or have an achievable one with a slightly lower bar. Wound up doing basically the same thing in Psych because I share the class with Meg who thinks a bit too much, that's why I love her.
I had fun that day, I had a good day. I profited from everyone leaving, and cruel as it sounds, I'd like them to all leave again (they don't have to go to a funeral, I just don't want them to go elsewhere for another day)
Funerals are such a bizarre human gesture. Think about it.
The rest of the week passed with little trouble, Alex liked my shirts and took pictures of them everyday, but asked me if I could give the shirts less form, essentially saying that my boob were too big and messed up his pictures. I have fun with him and we laughed about it, but deep down I do feel a little insulted, which I'm not very often. I genuinely don't know how I'm feeling unloved again.
It was my brother's birthday on Thursday, so my dad got 3D Imax tickets for Avatar. I didn't want to see this movie in the first place because I could tell it was a huge metaphor for American involvement in the middle east (as well as a fair amount about our treatment of the native Americans way back when) just from the trailers. And I don't want to see that. Plus, James Cameron was involved *gag*
Avatar: 4/10
Dear James Cameron,
Great visual effects DO NOT a great movie make, nor do they make a good movie, nor do they make an okay movie. They make a mediocre film. I've read better dialogue in fanfic...written by 14 year old girls. Unobtanium?!? What the hell!!! That totally isn't a metaphor for OIL! Plus, way to have an even plausible name. I was 20 steps ahead of the plot...and the plot only had 10 steps...12 tops but that's giving you a lot of credit. And way to have a leading man who can act...not. Every time he was on stage (lol the whole movie) I was watching what was happening in the background because he didn't hold my focus at all. I was told the last 45 minutes were supposed to blow my mind, mind not blown, Mr. Cameron, mind not blown. I got your message about how terrible America is, save it. I got your other one about how you can't always tell who the bad guys are, save that too., I got your numerous messages about the importance of diplomacy, and the power the military has over the course of science, save them all, and try to make a subtler movie next time.
Enjoy the pile of money you sleep on with many beautiful women.
Not love, I want my father's money back,
Jeß
Best part about the movie was the previews. How to Train your Dragon looks adorable! and it's got Vikings in it <3 so want to see it. Just the preview for Toy Story 3 almost made me cry, I grew up with these movies, and they have a part of my heart that no other movie can ever have. It's got the same feel to me as The Brave Little Toaster; I never want to get rid of any appliances or toys ever again because I secretly believe they love me. This movie remind me of how old I am... I'm not crying writing this right now, what?
I want to go back to Germany this summer, but I need to pay for the whole trip by myself (that's damn near $2000) I don't have a job because I'm too scared to apply to any place, so I'm stuck watching children and cleaning houses for pay, which I can do very well, but I only have 5 months to get all the cash (and there are payments that need to me made before then) While I don't, from an outsider's perspective, NEED to go again, I really need to go back because I had such a crappy time last time...mostly because I spoke so little German and was just a general ass. I need to go back to prove to myself more than anyone that I'm not completely stupid anymore, and it's actually plausible for me to function in a non-English speaking country.
I'm cold and tired and sad. I'm going to bed.
We get back on Monday, and there's a moment of silence over the morning announcements. People are leaving classes all through the day to go attend the funeral. I'm not going because I didn't know him. I was sitting with some of my friends in study hall in the cafe, and the hockey team is gathered on the other side of the room, waiting for the bus to take them to the funeral. My friend tells us this really funny story about how he almost got into a knife fight over vacation, and all of us laugh (we're prone to doing that). I can see us getting the dirtiest looks from just about everyone else in the cafeteria because we're laughing. I actually felt insulted by that because everyone else seemed to think that everyone should be somber; pardon me, but I had my mourning already (it lasted about half an hour, which is pretty good for a guy I didn't know) and I'm not going to his funeral because that is a real douchebag move right there. Someone tell me I'm not wrong in thinking that (or tell me I am and give some reasons, I dunno) the world goes on and everyone grieves for some amount of time, some times are very short, so it goes.
So, there's next to no one in my classes (I was the ONLY person in English, all the other eight people were gone, so I had a relaxed time doing the work I'd forgotten to do over break) then in Senior Seminar, it was me and four friends. We spent the whole time discussing, I'm proud to say, pretty high level ideas about the human condition and philosophy and whether it is better to strive for an unattainable goal, or have an achievable one with a slightly lower bar. Wound up doing basically the same thing in Psych because I share the class with Meg who thinks a bit too much, that's why I love her.
I had fun that day, I had a good day. I profited from everyone leaving, and cruel as it sounds, I'd like them to all leave again (they don't have to go to a funeral, I just don't want them to go elsewhere for another day)
Funerals are such a bizarre human gesture. Think about it.
The rest of the week passed with little trouble, Alex liked my shirts and took pictures of them everyday, but asked me if I could give the shirts less form, essentially saying that my boob were too big and messed up his pictures. I have fun with him and we laughed about it, but deep down I do feel a little insulted, which I'm not very often. I genuinely don't know how I'm feeling unloved again.
It was my brother's birthday on Thursday, so my dad got 3D Imax tickets for Avatar. I didn't want to see this movie in the first place because I could tell it was a huge metaphor for American involvement in the middle east (as well as a fair amount about our treatment of the native Americans way back when) just from the trailers. And I don't want to see that. Plus, James Cameron was involved *gag*
Avatar: 4/10
Dear James Cameron,
Great visual effects DO NOT a great movie make, nor do they make a good movie, nor do they make an okay movie. They make a mediocre film. I've read better dialogue in fanfic...written by 14 year old girls. Unobtanium?!? What the hell!!! That totally isn't a metaphor for OIL! Plus, way to have an even plausible name. I was 20 steps ahead of the plot...and the plot only had 10 steps...12 tops but that's giving you a lot of credit. And way to have a leading man who can act...not. Every time he was on stage (lol the whole movie) I was watching what was happening in the background because he didn't hold my focus at all. I was told the last 45 minutes were supposed to blow my mind, mind not blown, Mr. Cameron, mind not blown. I got your message about how terrible America is, save it. I got your other one about how you can't always tell who the bad guys are, save that too., I got your numerous messages about the importance of diplomacy, and the power the military has over the course of science, save them all, and try to make a subtler movie next time.
Enjoy the pile of money you sleep on with many beautiful women.
Not love, I want my father's money back,
Jeß
Best part about the movie was the previews. How to Train your Dragon looks adorable! and it's got Vikings in it <3 so want to see it. Just the preview for Toy Story 3 almost made me cry, I grew up with these movies, and they have a part of my heart that no other movie can ever have. It's got the same feel to me as The Brave Little Toaster; I never want to get rid of any appliances or toys ever again because I secretly believe they love me. This movie remind me of how old I am... I'm not crying writing this right now, what?
I want to go back to Germany this summer, but I need to pay for the whole trip by myself (that's damn near $2000) I don't have a job because I'm too scared to apply to any place, so I'm stuck watching children and cleaning houses for pay, which I can do very well, but I only have 5 months to get all the cash (and there are payments that need to me made before then) While I don't, from an outsider's perspective, NEED to go again, I really need to go back because I had such a crappy time last time...mostly because I spoke so little German and was just a general ass. I need to go back to prove to myself more than anyone that I'm not completely stupid anymore, and it's actually plausible for me to function in a non-English speaking country.
I'm cold and tired and sad. I'm going to bed.