crying
so ive spent about the last 15 minutes crying my eyes out because im so sick of it all. im tired of feeling like this. im tired of feeling like i have no one to talk to about how im feeling. things with steve are..falling apart. im tired of him telling me he loves me only when he drunk. or acting like he even cares about me at all...only when hes drunk. i never hear it when hes sober. hes too busy with waterski and his frat and his friends. but if he doesnt have any time to show me that i actually mean something to him then maybe we shouldnt be dating at all. it sucks to only hear i love you when hes been drinking, and it sucks to go to bed at night wondering why that is. and it sucks when he calls me from nationals to talk to me and then his ex gf comes in the room and he starts talking to her like im not even there, flirting with her and calling her the names he calls me. then when i get upset and say well im going to be he says what you dont want to talk to me? and i say well your talking to laura. and he says oh well im SORRY. that really pisses me off. how do you call your gf and then the second your ex walks in the room start talking to her instead? and then when i hang up, very obviously upset how can he not call me back? why hasnt he called me back? im so tired of feeling depressed and unwanted. i wish i could be truly happy again. i wish i had someone to talk to who would actually honestly listen and give a fuck as to what im saying and how im feeling. but i guess right now thats just not how it is.