feeling blue
so this past few days...weeks....actually the entire summer has been a complete bummer for me. stuck in elk grove with all my friends "home". i went to tahoe on saturday. its not what it used to be. its just boring and meaningless now. my birthday...sucked. well i got to go jet skiing in the morning so that was cool. but the rest of the day blew. my sister was sick with strep so everyone was babying her. no candles on my birthday cake. i dont even like cake by the way. didnt get to go to the beach cause of course jackie was too sick. didnt get to go to my favorite restaurant cause jackie was too sick. the whole day just sucked. i spent most of it trying not to cry. i hate seeing all these people with their wonderful friends who do wonderful things for them. of course my friends from home called. emily told me they thought about coming to surprise me for my birthday but i was in tahoe. i mean ya its a nice gesture...but thats always it...it never actually happens. its thought about...but never put into action. emily is supposed to be my best friend. ive seen her once this entire summer. and that was only cause i invited her to a rascal flatts concert and i saw her for maybe 4 hours. and of course i was the one to drive to fremont. she never even calls me. im always the one to call her. EVERY TIME. but does anyone ever think to drive up here to see me? no of course not. its too far. yet how many times have i driven down there to see them? oh ya and another crappy thing to add to my shitty week. we had to leave tahoe early because jackie and her friend were too sick to stay in tahoe. and then katie calls and says hey i want to come visit you. well thatd be nice actually...oh wait shes gonna come if her other plans fal thru. love to know im second fiddle to eveyone these days. then to top of my wonderfl day steve forgets to call me before he went to bed. it may seem insignificant to you...but to me it means everything. im just sick of nothing ever turning out right for me.friends who seem to care less about me (with the exception of my WONDERFUL roomates), and im tired of feeling depressed, left out, alone, and completely forgotten. and i didnt even hear from ryan on my birthday. youd think after everything thats happened between us hed at least have the decency to wish me a god damned happy birthday. i would have wished him one. and then theres this whole hating summer thing. i want to freakin end. but then again i dont cause once school starts steve is gonna be doing school, water ski team, AND his frat thing. which leaves no time for the girlfriend. great. just effing wonderful. my car is a POS too. if my grandparents didnt help me out id be carless. im just so sick of everything right now. UGHHHHH.