Do uh diddiy you are dumb diddy do

Jun 04, 2005 16:03

People are so fucking stuppid it is awfully sad. Or maybe it is just the fact that they don't realize that i don't really give a fuck what people think about me. I mean hello if i cared then i wouldn't spread fucking rumors about myself. I mean if people want to be stupid and just believe everything they hear from different peoples mouth so be it.

Well i am frightened to go back to school. Like things are being blown out of proposrtion....alll because Carlos called me at Kendalls party on Katelyns phone. Things have snow balled. i am still mad at Jeremy for it as well. Cause he kept asking me what Carlos said and Kikik being right there thinks i obsess over him....and i think Jeremy also must have said soemthing. but if her and ray knew what the fuck they were talking about they would realize why i am with him. BECAUSE I AM A FUCKING PROSTITUE! I fucking be with guys so that way i don't see them be dissapointed. I mean ok so i don't like have sex and all that jazz with them...but i still just want to make them happy...my purpose in like...MAKING POEPLE HAPPY. And you know it is too late now to tell Kiki and Ray that i never even liked Carlos...and if i did it was because he liked me and i am always liek "ok w/e?!" I hate how only like ONE person really knows me. I mean even my parents don't know me. i mean it makes me sad. but anyways i got these to death comments in my xanga saying "
Carlos doesn't like you and never has. He has no feelings for you whatsoever so stop obsessing, you're pissing people off. Quit it, it's never going to happen and don't tell me that you don't. Man you are soo obvious and self absorbed. So quit it, and back off
Posted 6/1/2005 at 8:43 PM by sunkissed111 - delete - block user
He's not interested.She's right. Leave him alone. He probabaly wants to be friends, but nothing more. I know this is a little harsh but it's true. He likes this other girl. He really really likes her. or he did. That "date" you had wasn't a date, at Cumberland. Yah I know. So please jsut stop because you're really agitating people
Posted 6/1/2005 at 9:00 PM by Anonymousbutpissed - delete - block user

You know what i have no idea what they are talking about. yeah i may talk about him...because he is in my life. Umm yeah sorry but if you effect me at all i have a tendedcy to talk about you...SORRY! That is just how i am. Whether you are a boy or girl I will talkk about you if you are in my life at all! So you know what they are just stupid...again they don't know me. And like the weird thing is....I never EVER talk about Carlos and my xanga...like i have mentioned our plans but not said who they were with...but i never have used his name. To be quite frank i talk about like every otehr guy. lol quite sad really. I mean i am fickle...why don't you think i don't restrain myself? WEllanyways i have not spojken with Carlos since i read those comments...which was early friday morning. TO be frank i don't wanna talk to him ever again. He has put me through hell.....and you know what he causes so much drama! Teh worst part is I NEVER EVER LIKED HIM FOR REAL! I ONLY DID STUFF MERLY CAUSE I HATED SEEING HIM SAD! like OMFG! it really hurts my feels that i have somehow been destroying peoples lives...and been unaware. Again if only Jeremy told me sooner what the hell was going on...now like 1/4 of IB like loathes me...and I have no idea what the hell i did...ok? I mean it just annoys me.

WEll i was walking down the beach today, after driving down to Flroida and arriving last night at 8. And well i noticed that peopleon th ebeach are usually with people. They are with th eperson they care about...or their family. I mean i saw this attractve like 16 year old guy playing with his sister...it is like on the beach shows the good side of people. You don't usually see people fighting they are always having a good time...possibly drinking and have a jolly good time. I was walking by myself thinking about my summer and i realize that no one rules over me but me. i could never be dick whipped. I don't listen to my parents. When my mom trys to talk to me about drugs i get up and walk away. I am such a punk, but why? I mean truly there is no reason why i am the way i am. I just wanna be myown person! I don't follow rules. Even at school i get dress coded, i eat sleep, cuss loudly, walk around, walk out of classes. But why? I mean the only thing i can think of...is cause i felt like it. I am going to see my little girl one day and be like "you are such a morone...doing all that sh*t is so pointless...i mean what is your reason?" i guess it is part of growing up.
My Aunt told me the otehr day that being a teenager is the time in your life you are suppose to make mistakes. It is the time that you are suppose to become your own person...the thing is you have to pick your mistakes wisly, because mistakes lead to consequences which you are suppose to learn from.
i think that what she said is so true...and no one could do i finer job in doing it. I love my Aunt Libby so much!hehe she made a batch of brownies just for me for my trip hehe!

WEll tomorrow i am goign out with the Gramster and we are seeing some play. Then we are comng back to my place and my whole family is suppose to be coming over...weeeeeeeeeeeee!

Gone for a while

My xanga: paythejanitor
Previous post Next post
Up