I am resurrection.
Alright, so a kid from my old high school kid committed suicide last week, and the way in which it had occured was quite tragic. He happens to share my last name. What is weird is that somewhere his first name got lost in translation, and so several individuals have thought that I'm the one who committed suicide. To know that people actually think your dead is quite the uncomfortable feeling, if you can imagine, but it makes actually be alive that much more meaningful, I guess. Knowing that you actually are alive when people think otherwise makes you kind of want to appreciate the gift a little bit more. Maybe for some it will only serve as a means of dehumanization but for me it's the complete opposite. Maybe it's just reading the things that random people that you haven't seen in years write about you when they think you're dead just helps you put the whole matter into perspective. Take this for example:
"Dude tiptoe was the man since like 4th grade. He was the only person who wore those damn sweat pants all the time, he wasn't very good at gym class but he actually liked it when we called him tiptoe. Its ironic to think about that time we got into a fight in the locker room. And I know nigel probably feels the same way, but we had so many memories, from being on the basketball team at Model, and going over to natalies house after school. I hate it to think about all the crazy shit ive lived through, and the couple of times I should have died, and tiptoe had to take his own life away. Everyone goes sooner or later, and all we can do is validate that he lived, before he died. I think about, aaron, my neighbor the bowlin kid that died, jesse, charles, demo, the list goes on and on. Thats why i've composed a 20 page death packet explaining exactly what i want to happen after i die, its a horrible time for a family to make these decisions. I drove like crazy to get here for the funeral, but i guess i was too late.
P.s. Tiptoe i wish you were here brother..."
Katie W. sent this to me because a former friend of mine back in middle school, Omar, had posted it as a bullentin. It's just a completely surreal feeling to read that. Last week when news of the kid actually committing suicide first broke out, Travis Frasier called my phone like 6 times just to make sure I was still alive because his mother had told him I had done it. I'm sure this kind of thing is very commonplace and happens all the time, people attributing the wrong deaths to people with similar names, but when it actually happens to you, it just makes you ruminate about stuff.
On a more frivolous note, I feel like a zombie in a way, so it's kind of a dream come true. Just kidding.
"Dude tiptoe was the man since like 4th grade. He was the only person who wore those damn sweat pants all the time, he wasn't very good at gym class but he actually liked it when we called him tiptoe. Its ironic to think about that time we got into a fight in the locker room. And I know nigel probably feels the same way, but we had so many memories, from being on the basketball team at Model, and going over to natalies house after school. I hate it to think about all the crazy shit ive lived through, and the couple of times I should have died, and tiptoe had to take his own life away. Everyone goes sooner or later, and all we can do is validate that he lived, before he died. I think about, aaron, my neighbor the bowlin kid that died, jesse, charles, demo, the list goes on and on. Thats why i've composed a 20 page death packet explaining exactly what i want to happen after i die, its a horrible time for a family to make these decisions. I drove like crazy to get here for the funeral, but i guess i was too late.
P.s. Tiptoe i wish you were here brother..."
Katie W. sent this to me because a former friend of mine back in middle school, Omar, had posted it as a bullentin. It's just a completely surreal feeling to read that. Last week when news of the kid actually committing suicide first broke out, Travis Frasier called my phone like 6 times just to make sure I was still alive because his mother had told him I had done it. I'm sure this kind of thing is very commonplace and happens all the time, people attributing the wrong deaths to people with similar names, but when it actually happens to you, it just makes you ruminate about stuff.
On a more frivolous note, I feel like a zombie in a way, so it's kind of a dream come true. Just kidding.