new york.
jarah came this past weekend.
island hopper
jarah always harvests the inner ring.
harvard.
the t.
ghosts.
home.
giddy. beyond.
all in all, a great weekend. those pictures do it no justice; if you took a look at the polaroids or film strips, you'd get a much better idea of how... excited, i was. from the moment i watched her walk into boston from the moment i left her, i held back tears. we did a lot, walked the city, ate in excess, the normal activities.. the only thing i that i felt lacked was the constant whir of excitement-- i had things planned, and i tried to come up with fun things to do, but she seemed apathetic to most plans. as much as it was just wonderful to have her in front of me, i cant say i did everything i wanted to; if i was holding back tears, in front of my best friend, something must have been wrong, correct? and there's so much i wanted to say to her. i had orchestrated entire conversations in my head of what i'd say and how, and i didn't open my mouth (probably out of fear, as i didnt want to cry). the only time i even vaguely expressed myself was while we were watching the hours, which always makes me cry.
i know we've both changed. it's bound to happen; we're growing up and living in entirely different places without each other, and the changes aren't even that drastic, but they're there. i felt like, the whole time she was here, she wanted to be in geneseo. and i don't blame her; i try and switch our places, and i probably would have wanted to be in boston if i wasn't here. i guess its all a part of adjusting. everyone seemed to like her. boys hit on us like back at home because we were a combined force, instead of individuals, and i missed that. but at the same time, i felt like there was some sort of emotional connection missing. i hate to use the word stoic. but i just felt like i was feeling things that weren't reciprocated. i hate to use this as a forum to express this, but first and foremost, this is a place for my words. so, whatever happens with them will.
d'accord.
island hopper
jarah always harvests the inner ring.
harvard.
the t.
ghosts.
home.
giddy. beyond.
all in all, a great weekend. those pictures do it no justice; if you took a look at the polaroids or film strips, you'd get a much better idea of how... excited, i was. from the moment i watched her walk into boston from the moment i left her, i held back tears. we did a lot, walked the city, ate in excess, the normal activities.. the only thing i that i felt lacked was the constant whir of excitement-- i had things planned, and i tried to come up with fun things to do, but she seemed apathetic to most plans. as much as it was just wonderful to have her in front of me, i cant say i did everything i wanted to; if i was holding back tears, in front of my best friend, something must have been wrong, correct? and there's so much i wanted to say to her. i had orchestrated entire conversations in my head of what i'd say and how, and i didn't open my mouth (probably out of fear, as i didnt want to cry). the only time i even vaguely expressed myself was while we were watching the hours, which always makes me cry.
i know we've both changed. it's bound to happen; we're growing up and living in entirely different places without each other, and the changes aren't even that drastic, but they're there. i felt like, the whole time she was here, she wanted to be in geneseo. and i don't blame her; i try and switch our places, and i probably would have wanted to be in boston if i wasn't here. i guess its all a part of adjusting. everyone seemed to like her. boys hit on us like back at home because we were a combined force, instead of individuals, and i missed that. but at the same time, i felt like there was some sort of emotional connection missing. i hate to use the word stoic. but i just felt like i was feeling things that weren't reciprocated. i hate to use this as a forum to express this, but first and foremost, this is a place for my words. so, whatever happens with them will.
d'accord.