(no subject)
i didn't want to be reduced to this, so you can stop reading now and save yourself a lot of trouble//not think i'm the biggest lamest most pathetic dork ever.
anyway..
as the seasons change and the leaves start melting from green to red, the emptiness in my heart cant help but grow. i'm surrounded by some of the most wonderful people here, i have incredible friends at home, but there's that one essential person missing. this time, i'm not talking about jarah.
i'm talking about that hand you want to hold when the first snow falls. the person you share an umbrella with when your class lets out and the sky opens up and cries on you. the name that pops up on the caller id at 4 a.m., just calling to say hi and see how you're feeling. a person i can knit and write for, or more importantly, will create for me. someone to fill my mailbox with letters about feeling and emotion, or simple pictures, or tokens of appreciation and gratitude. the person who will lie in bed with me and play with my hair while we listen to mixtapes, because he knows all my favorite songs. the person who will eat ethnic foods and explore with me, who will abandon any selfish desires and just release himself into the spontaneity and excitement of life. the person who isn't afraid to show me emotion and talk to me about anything, who will let his thoughts flow past his lips without thinking, whether it be good or bad. someone who will bring me a cupcake, just because.
as the thermometer begins to dip, and your mouth aches for the hot sting of apple cider and building stoops are ablaze with pumpkins and corn stalks, you crave it. you (i) sit on benches outside the museum of fine arts, staring out at the bustling street. and you can already picture it; you and that person, walking in that same place with red noses, wool caps and scarves on, clinging to each other for warmth, finding refuge in the safe walls of the museum.
... i dont know. maybe i'm just lonely.
anyway..
as the seasons change and the leaves start melting from green to red, the emptiness in my heart cant help but grow. i'm surrounded by some of the most wonderful people here, i have incredible friends at home, but there's that one essential person missing. this time, i'm not talking about jarah.
i'm talking about that hand you want to hold when the first snow falls. the person you share an umbrella with when your class lets out and the sky opens up and cries on you. the name that pops up on the caller id at 4 a.m., just calling to say hi and see how you're feeling. a person i can knit and write for, or more importantly, will create for me. someone to fill my mailbox with letters about feeling and emotion, or simple pictures, or tokens of appreciation and gratitude. the person who will lie in bed with me and play with my hair while we listen to mixtapes, because he knows all my favorite songs. the person who will eat ethnic foods and explore with me, who will abandon any selfish desires and just release himself into the spontaneity and excitement of life. the person who isn't afraid to show me emotion and talk to me about anything, who will let his thoughts flow past his lips without thinking, whether it be good or bad. someone who will bring me a cupcake, just because.
as the thermometer begins to dip, and your mouth aches for the hot sting of apple cider and building stoops are ablaze with pumpkins and corn stalks, you crave it. you (i) sit on benches outside the museum of fine arts, staring out at the bustling street. and you can already picture it; you and that person, walking in that same place with red noses, wool caps and scarves on, clinging to each other for warmth, finding refuge in the safe walls of the museum.
... i dont know. maybe i'm just lonely.