Tell me, are you a bad fish, too?
Sometimes I don't even know what I'm doing to myself. Should I ruin everything I have for a ghost of the past? Sometimes when I close my eyes everything just seems to go by so fast. Mixing up what's now and what was then. Does this even make sense? I don't have anyone. I feel disconnected from everything. Here I am hurting some of my best friends I've ever had, and all I can think about is myself. I can be so selfish sometimes that it disgusts me. But the thing is, I should be happy. Shouldn't I? Was I happy? Would I be happier if I followed what my heart has been screaming out? I don't know anything, and I've been unable to make decisions for myself lately. I try to just shrug everything off and pretend that what I'm doing is right. I'm so sick of pretending. And WAITING. I'M SO FUCKING SICK OF WAITING FOR MY LIFE TO JUST FALL TOGETHER. I'M SICK OF WAITING, AND BEING THE PERSON WHO IS WILLING TO GIVE IT ALL UP, BUT NO ONE IS WILLING TO DO THAT FOR ME. My heart....it's just broken. A piece of me is missing. I want the piece back. That's all that I've ever wanted, but here I am being fucking pathetic because there's nothing I can do about it. I don't seem to know anything anymore. I can't sleep. I stay up because my mind just won't be fucking quiet for once. I just want my life back. I want my missing piece back. I don't know what to do.