random outbursts of thought at 4AM
shall i persist to have these thoughts
constantly drilling another dime sized hole furthur past my mind, into my soul
the inferiority succoms my being
and then i bash my recollection by regressing
pretending i dont see
being naive
could it be
that as my body is growing, as my mind
i dig this rut in the ground just as a cover-up
like your favorite sweater
ive wrapped my essence around so many opinions
let me promise again
that tommorrow will bring another adventure
hoping i will continue to inquire & fufill my true hearts desires
because with age comes this knowledge
to realize
and to grasp with your dirty figer nails the idea of how easy it is to obtain your true identity
in my mind i constantly paint these pictures
small, large, black, white, with a subject, or with many
i am a dreamer
we are all dreamers of some sort
right?
because in my world, i surround myself with color, warmth & compassion
only to ubrubtly put a halt to these thoughts, i see the dark bags that rest under our eyes
led from nights that were sleepless
or just plain tiresome days
we are all unaware
of the unhealthy things that we bring upon ourselves
only to selfishly want more
or complain more
about this same self-inflicted pain
maybe im no genius
no einstein here
but i know my virtue
the value that lies behind my name as a single individual in this vast, infinante universe
so i will persist to persue my hearts desire
let my eyes see the world for what it is
beyond this city ive been held captive to
i know there is a reason for this pull and push; the momentum, the drive
i hope evolution treats my person fairly
not saying i am special, or superior to others
that i should stick around or anything
but maybe it took a few years too late for me to feel the need to make my mark on our whole society
but ill continue pretending i have writers block
may it be a year or one week because i wont pick up the pen to just write
but ill pull through this rough patch, i know
because there is so much out there for me, for us, to discover
and i want to translate that through my song i will one day be able to deliver; divinly, beautifully, orgranized
may it be that my thoughts are disordered
and i truthfully would never want to sing of jumbled lyrics and meaningless words
so give it time
but not too long because before you know it
the clocks will tick no more