love songs
Je In (Sinner)
GDYB - Jiyong/Youngbae.
part three of five.
ACK. sorry for the long wait D: I swear, the next part will be out sooner. SUMMER, FTW. and as always, thank you to oxygenlove for beta'ing<3
"Can’t you go any faster?" you impatiently ask the taxi driver for the nth time, and he only grunts in response, stepping on the break to narrowly avoid crashing into the car in front. You lean your head against the back of the seat and groan.
"Bae! Where are you? It’s already past midnight and you said you would be back before eleven. Call me when you get this. I Love you, bye."
That had been the first voice message.
"It’s me, again. Maybe you didn’t get my first message? You’re not replying to any of my texts or calls. Are you still with Daesung? Call and tell me if you’re just going to stay with him tonight. Love you."
His voice had a hint of frustration in it.
"Youngbae, I just called Daesung and he said he left the club hours ago. Without you. Where the hell are you? Call me as soon as you get this."
There was no doubt after that one. He was angry.
"Dong Youngbae. It is after four in the morning. If you don’t call me or get back here by nine, I’m leaving."
You shudder as you remember how serious his voice had been in that last message. I’m leaving. You don’t want to believe that he was serious. That he would just leave you like that.
"Ay, buddy. We here, pay up," the taxi driver interrupts your thoughts. You absent-mindedly throw him the money and step out. He drives away and you stand there, staring at the door of your apartment. You look at your watch, and grimace. It is 2:56 p.m. You are five hours and fifty-six minutes late, according to Jiyong’s deadline.
You gingerly open the door and walk in, "Ji? Are you here?" you call out as you take off your shoes. You place them beside the door, and you notice that Jiyong’s shoes are still there. Your heartbeat quickens.
You walk to your bedroom and find him sitting on the bed, looking at his feet. He looks up when he hears your footsteps and you see dark circles under his eyes. It looks like he didn’t get any sleep last night.
"You decided to actually come back?" his voice is quiet, dead.
You simply nod and go to sit by him, reaching to take one of his hands in yours. But he snatches it back before you can even touch him. You wince, and then lower your hand back to your lap.
"So, are you going to try and explain what happened?" his voice is still quiet, and still dead.
"I, um," you blink a couple of times, "I met up with an old friend and went home with h-her because Dae had already left." You don't know why you're lying.
"Really? Who was it?" He gives you a skeptical look.
"Um, Sunri? Yeah, Sunri." Sunri was close to Seungri. You weren't completely lying.
"So...You left the club with Sunri, and stayed the night with her?"
"Yeah." Your hands were shaking in your lap.
You watch as he leans his head back and sighs. "Okay then," he says simply and stands up. You stand up as well, and follow him out of the bedroom, wondering if you're really going to be let off the hook that easily.
"Tell me, Youngbae," he begins as you follow him into the living room, "Is Seungri-oh I mean, Sunri, a good fuck?" His voice is isn't dead anymore. In fact, it's the opposite. It's full of raw emotion, full of anger.
His words hit you like a brick, and you stop dead in your tracks. You stop breathing for a moment, and your mind goes blank. He knows.
"Well, are you going to answer me or not? Prove me wrong, Youngbae, tell me you didn’t sleep with him last night."
"H-How did-"
He interrupts you by turning around and grabbing your chin, forcing you to look at him. "Look me in the eye and tell me I’m wrong," he pleads. He’s begging, you can see it in his eyes.
"I-I...I-" you can’t get any further than that. His eyes are starting to tear up. "I’m sorry, Ji."
He abruptly moves away from you. "Don’t call me that," he whispers as he sits on the couch.
You sit next to him, draping your arm around his thin frame, and he doesn’t protest. "Jiyong, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, baby," you try to convince him.
"You lied to me. Seunghyun hyung already told me everything."
"Seunghyun told you?" And you don’t know why, but you get angry at hearing that. This is Seunghyun’s fault, not yours. What Jiyong didn’t know couldn’t hurt him, but Seunghyun already ruined that by telling him. Goddamnit, why can’t he stay the hell out of your relationship?
He nods his head yes.
"Did you ever think maybe you shouldn’t listen to him?" you ask, trying to stay calm. You vaguely remembered asking Jiyong a similar question recently.
"Well, maybe you shouldn’t be cheating on me in the first place," he replies acridly, glaring at you. "Seunghyun hyung wouldn’t be telling me anything if you didn’t do shady shit."
"Well, maybe if you took your head out of your ass for once, you’d see that he’s just trying to fucking take you away from me," you counter hotly.
"Maybe if you weren’t such a self absorbed asshole, you’d realize that he’s actually just looking out for me," and with that he stands up and walks out of the room.
You immediately stand up and follow him, "Where are you going?" you watch as he puts on his shoes. "What are you doing?"
"It’s none of your fucking business," he replies without looking at you. And he walks out the door without another word.
You run after him and grab him by the shoulder, roughly spinning him to face you. "Where are you going?" you ask again.
"I’m going to Seunghyun hyung’s," he sneers at you. "I called him earlier and he said I could stay with him for as long as I wanted." He shakes you off, and continues walking down the hallway.
You grab his wrist, stopping him again. "Don’t go, I need you" you meekly say. "I need you here with me."
"Really now? Well you should’ve told me that last night," he scoffs, pulling out of your grasp. He turns his back on you and continues down the hallway. "Go fuck yourself, Youngbae," and then he’s gone.
You run after him one more time, calling out his name, hoping he’ll stop. But you get outside, and he’s already gone. He’s already out of your reach, and there’s nothing you can do to bring him back.
You stand there for a moment, your mind numb, and then you slowly walk back into your apartment. You walk into the bathroom and stare at your reflection. A young, pale man with dark circles and unwashed hair looks back at you. He looks defeated and tired and lonely.
Then you see a trace of the hickey that was left from two nights ago. And you get angry. Fucking Seungri, this is his fault! He fucking took advantage of you when you were drunk, and now Jiyong has left you.
The longer you look in the mirror, the more you become aggravated. The longer you look in the mirror, the more you hate yourself. You can’t take it anymore, and so you punch the mirror, letting out all your frustration and hatred. The mirror shatters, and you feel a sharp pain in your hand.
You whimper slightly as your bring your now bloody hand to your chest, cradling it. "Fuck," you whisper to yourself. You’re all alone.