Robbed
I have been struggling with my mental health for quite some time now.
It got a little scary a few months ago, but I have been fighting back.
I'm seeing my therapist. I'm taking my medicine. But I still don't feel 100% like myself.
My anxiety has been really high lately, and I'm trying to get a hold of it.
I feel like I spend so much of my day, and therefore, my life, rushing around from one place to the next, always in a hurry, always trying to get things done. I'm a big, walking stress ball.
I can physically feel the anxiety in my body.
And that's not who I want to be. This is not who I want to be.
I want to go back and start over. I want to show up to this point in my life again and be a different person. A happy person. An optimistic person. A person who laughs. A person who is infectious in all the best ways.
I feel so utterly weighed down by the everyday stressors of life. I find no joy in the everyday, even though I have so much I should be happy for, so much I should be proud of.
I feel like life, loss, trauma, grief have robbed me of happiness, and I want justice. I want it back. I want to take back my power. I don't want to be this person anymore.