For me for him...
I have just arrived home from one of the most humbling experiences of my life. I just got done filling in for Adrian Crutchfield at Cafe Cabrunet. I should have slept before the gig, because it started at 9:30 and we got done around 1:30, which is the longest time I've ever played saxophone without stopping, except for Mariano's Scotch refill's which is usually about a minute and a half between every 3rd of fourth tune. I was expecting grad students, because that's who Adrian said would be playing the gig. To my utter surprise there was only one graduate student present, and the other two gentlemen were both older than my father, and had been playing professionally since before I was born. Upon being asked to fill in, I began to transpose tunes like Jesus was soon to return, but it was too little too late. To try and cram 30 years of playing tunes into four or five hours in front of finale was a stretch, even for me, and yet it still didn't happen. I doubled my knowledge of tunes by the end of this thing though, which is quite the incentive to go and make a professional fool of myself... They called tunes that I skip through in the Real Books, cause I can't even pronounce them at first glance... they played them like it was hot cross buns or something that familiar. Here I am, not even a freshman, sight-reading and tranposing a step and a half... all these tunes that I should know to be play'n with these cats... with my face burried in a book, and they're just relaxed and kinda smile'n at me with that father to son smile that says," I wonder when he's gonna throw his horn and start cry'n and just go home..." I think that's the only thing that I'm proud of. They dragged me through alot of those tunes, even the ones that I thought I knew like the back of my hand... But tonight I learned just how good my ears really are, and I learned that I trust them more than my eyes, more than feel or touch, more than even being able to taste the music...Tonight I learned just how valuable listening can be and for that I thank you Burt.
P.S.
No one should ever ask you to change you for them, and I know that you're doing this "for me for him"... I know that it may not mean nearly as much coming from me as it would from him, but I thank you for the change that you're making in your life. It makes my heart so glad to see you doing this because you care enough about YOU, not about anyone else, this is about you being happy and you being content with just you and who you are. I hope sleepless and teary nights come to an end just for you..."Someday your prince will come" (F'ed that tune up someth'n fierce tonight)