(no subject)
i want to cry
but not relaly
just sort of
only
yeah
i think
maybe
with my head under my pillow
that would be nice
only i would want someone to hear me
someone to care
so thats why i won't
because there is no point in crying by yourself
it only makes things worse.
not that things are worse
well
no
i
my hip hurts.
yeah that one
the one i already had surgery on
yeah. it feels like it did before the operation.
it sucks.
and yeah that one other thing
all the talk
no matter how many times
i ask and beg
and and
yeah it sucks too
i want
well i can't pinpoint it
only...well yeah actually i can
i want
films
so real and intense and
new york an apartmentoneyear maybe two
intern
overseasummer
the perfect
well what we all want
somewhere
butyeahi want all of these things
that are just starting to resurface
my standards are high
even though my spirits are low
i fight it
i will win
thingsarentas
i make things seem
ok
oh also
he broke up with his girlfriend
for me?
yeah i think.
maybe.
calls constantly
distance
yeah.
that thing...
thigns like this always happen to me
ironic
little
things
..
i now realize
i really really love school.
it makes me happy.
...
don't know why i'm so frozenmy mom doesn't deserve that
shit i throw
but you do
only i can't reach that far
which is a shame because...if i could
oh if i could....you could feel it
and you could hear me
and you could and would
be so
so
affected
so
much so.
i needed a place to go
if i did
if i asked
begged
pleaded
paid you
in cold hard coke, cash, whatever it is you accept these days
would you let me stay...
just for the night?
ok..yeah
yeah
ok yeah i understand
yeah thats
thats what i thought
no its cool
i'll be fine
yeah i'll just sleep here..
right under that litle spot where..yeah yeah in my car...i'm fine. relaly.
great.
yeah i like pretending like we've never met too.
yeah no really.
its fun.
this whole.."let's act super casual" thing
its working for me
but see it confuses me when you remind me of old times, because when you act like you've forgotten
and then we are alone
and you suddenly remember
yeah...
its not not going to work for me anymore
nah. not relaly so much shit i feel like putting up with.
you wonder why people think these things.
you wonder why
people
yeah..
wow.
ok.
also remind me...um when did stupid=attractive
great.
thanks.
at least i don't want to cry anymore.
no now i just feel like my cynical self.
with a headache just for fun.
and a little bit of hip pain thrown in there.
great.
yes
writing has always been my...method.
but not relaly
just sort of
only
yeah
i think
maybe
with my head under my pillow
that would be nice
only i would want someone to hear me
someone to care
so thats why i won't
because there is no point in crying by yourself
it only makes things worse.
not that things are worse
well
no
i
my hip hurts.
yeah that one
the one i already had surgery on
yeah. it feels like it did before the operation.
it sucks.
and yeah that one other thing
all the talk
no matter how many times
i ask and beg
and and
yeah it sucks too
i want
well i can't pinpoint it
only...well yeah actually i can
i want
films
so real and intense and
new york an apartmentoneyear maybe two
intern
overseasummer
the perfect
well what we all want
somewhere
butyeahi want all of these things
that are just starting to resurface
my standards are high
even though my spirits are low
i fight it
i will win
thingsarentas
i make things seem
ok
oh also
he broke up with his girlfriend
for me?
yeah i think.
maybe.
calls constantly
distance
yeah.
that thing...
thigns like this always happen to me
ironic
little
things
..
i now realize
i really really love school.
it makes me happy.
...
don't know why i'm so frozenmy mom doesn't deserve that
shit i throw
but you do
only i can't reach that far
which is a shame because...if i could
oh if i could....you could feel it
and you could hear me
and you could and would
be so
so
affected
so
much so.
i needed a place to go
if i did
if i asked
begged
pleaded
paid you
in cold hard coke, cash, whatever it is you accept these days
would you let me stay...
just for the night?
ok..yeah
yeah
ok yeah i understand
yeah thats
thats what i thought
no its cool
i'll be fine
yeah i'll just sleep here..
right under that litle spot where..yeah yeah in my car...i'm fine. relaly.
great.
yeah i like pretending like we've never met too.
yeah no really.
its fun.
this whole.."let's act super casual" thing
its working for me
but see it confuses me when you remind me of old times, because when you act like you've forgotten
and then we are alone
and you suddenly remember
yeah...
its not not going to work for me anymore
nah. not relaly so much shit i feel like putting up with.
you wonder why people think these things.
you wonder why
people
yeah..
wow.
ok.
also remind me...um when did stupid=attractive
great.
thanks.
at least i don't want to cry anymore.
no now i just feel like my cynical self.
with a headache just for fun.
and a little bit of hip pain thrown in there.
great.
yes
writing has always been my...method.