(no subject)
I would like to apologize in advanced to anyone who is reading this pathetic excuse for a so called life.
I am getting sick of this thing. It just reminds how much I can't fucking stand to put up with myself. I really don't know how anyone could. I can't remember the last time I heard anything from any of my "friends". I've tried calling almost everyone in my phone but either A. They are too busy B. off somewhere else in college. C. don't have any money to do anything and expect me to pay or D. as I am talking to them I am rememinded why I stopped talking to them in the first place. I think I might be getting rid of this piece of shit soon and starting fresh or just fucking killing everything off all together. I wish it was as easy as deleting something online to start over with something new. Because when I try to, everything just gets thrown back in my face. Fuck all of this. The worse part is the thing that makes me most pathetic is how I have to complain to everyone out there who doesn't even listen. I can't stand to just sit wondering "What if's...." or "I guess...." or the "Well, I could have...". It all just sickens me more. I always said that I would never be the person who graduates from a Dearborn school and just ends up in HFCC. But fuck it. That is exactly where I am now. As usual plans blow up in my face and I am left with the last thing on earth that anyone would want to deal with. And I just let this all happen. Why? Because I am just a pathetic piece of trash who likes to stomp on and crumble everyone else's life becuse I am so dissatisfied with my own. I would rather torment this one then go out and get fucked up with that one. Hey, who can blame me. It's just what I learned growning up and living with her. Its amazing how one fucking person could destroy me for life. I realize now that seeing her and what was all happening was just a prediction to the future of how I was to be and what I was to become. It's all in the cards. That fucking piece of garbage delt them out and this fucking piece of trash picked them all up one by one.
Let the battle begin.
I am getting sick of this thing. It just reminds how much I can't fucking stand to put up with myself. I really don't know how anyone could. I can't remember the last time I heard anything from any of my "friends". I've tried calling almost everyone in my phone but either A. They are too busy B. off somewhere else in college. C. don't have any money to do anything and expect me to pay or D. as I am talking to them I am rememinded why I stopped talking to them in the first place. I think I might be getting rid of this piece of shit soon and starting fresh or just fucking killing everything off all together. I wish it was as easy as deleting something online to start over with something new. Because when I try to, everything just gets thrown back in my face. Fuck all of this. The worse part is the thing that makes me most pathetic is how I have to complain to everyone out there who doesn't even listen. I can't stand to just sit wondering "What if's...." or "I guess...." or the "Well, I could have...". It all just sickens me more. I always said that I would never be the person who graduates from a Dearborn school and just ends up in HFCC. But fuck it. That is exactly where I am now. As usual plans blow up in my face and I am left with the last thing on earth that anyone would want to deal with. And I just let this all happen. Why? Because I am just a pathetic piece of trash who likes to stomp on and crumble everyone else's life becuse I am so dissatisfied with my own. I would rather torment this one then go out and get fucked up with that one. Hey, who can blame me. It's just what I learned growning up and living with her. Its amazing how one fucking person could destroy me for life. I realize now that seeing her and what was all happening was just a prediction to the future of how I was to be and what I was to become. It's all in the cards. That fucking piece of garbage delt them out and this fucking piece of trash picked them all up one by one.
Let the battle begin.