[ITP: Dealing with problems!]

[youmustlickit]

[Following this thread, you've filled up your SYLLADEX with a couple of changes of clothes, some scalemates, and your laptop, and headed for your MOIRAIL'S CABINHIVE.

Now you're standing outside the door and knocking.]

Comments

> LATER.

[youmustlickit]

[You've sent both DAVE and KARKAT a message on Trollian asking them to show up at your RESPITEBLOCK, without informing either that the other would be there, nor actually explaining why beyond "W3 N33D TO T4LK".

You're waiting for them to show up now.]

[threshprince]

[You ARRIVE.

There's basically no way this is not going to get violent.]

[bethecoolkid]

[At some point in life, everyone is gonna look stupid. There's gonna be a day when acting cool, above it all and like you don't give a fuck won't cut it as a universal problemsolving solution. You wish to Jegus and Gog that this was not one of those days, but... it is.

You apparently can't save Bro, and you apparently can't reach Godtier. But godfuckingdammit, you can fix this. So you knock on the door, and prepare to grab the bull by the horns- no matter how inappropriate that simile is in this context.]

its me

[youmustlickit]

...1TS UNLOCK3D

[threshprince]

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?!

[bethecoolkid]

[You freeze in the doorway, once you realize that you are suddenly in the Parent Trap, or any movie where a cheeky youngster calls together their separated parents without them knowing the other's gonna be there, except these are trolls and you're pretty sure that if the Parent Trap were ever made into an Alternian Movie, there would be a duel to the death that starts JUST like this one.

It's kind of amazing how much useless shit you can come up with in the space of a single spittake.]

oh fuck
is this what were doing

[youmustlickit]

NO
TH1S 1S WH4T W3R3 DO1NG:
W3R3 GO1NG TO T4LK 4BOUT TH1S
NO ON3 1S L34V1NG UNT1L 1 S4Y W3R3 DON3
4ND BOTH OF YOU 4R3 GO1NG TO PL4Y N1C3 OR 1M THROUGH W1TH BOTH OF YOU
1F YOU C4NT K33P FROM Y3LL1NG 4T OR M41M1NG 34CH OTH3R
1M W4LK1NG OUT 4ND NOT SP34K1NG TO 31TH3R OF YOU 3V3R 4G41N
UND3RST4ND?

[threshprince]

[You very nearly do an acrobatic something-or-other off some sort of handle-like implement, only barely keeping your rage in check thanks to Terezi's threat. ... Only barely.]

... FINE.

[bethecoolkid]

[You look from Terezi, to Karkat, back to Terezi, back to Karkat, try to make your eyes roll in on themselves so you can look at your own soul for some kind of last minute inner revelation, BUT as that is patently silly you find nothing in there. So you just nod.]

kay

[youmustlickit]

GOOD
...SO
YOU BOTH H4V3 F33L1NGS FOR M3
1 H4V3 F33L1NGS FOR BOTH OF YOU
4ND 1 W4NT TO STOP FUCK1NG TH1S UP
SO NON3 OF US G3T HURT 4NY MOR3 TH4N W3 4LR34DY H4V3
WH4T DO W3 DO

[threshprince]

WHAT IS THERE TO DO?
WE HATE EACH OTHER.
THE ONLY OPTION IS TO PICK ONE.

[bethecoolkid]

dude what
no
i dont hate you im as neutral to you as neutral gets
humans dont have your weirdass blackrom

[threshprince]

IT'S NOT THAT KIND OF HATE, YOU BULGELICKING FUCKBRAINED NOOKHAT!

[bethecoolkid]

[You decide to follow up that stellar example of intergalactic diplomacy with another pearl of wisdom, as you lean back against the wall in an increasing state of resigned loss.]

no kind of hate whatsoever
cause youre not worth it

[youmustlickit]

STOP 1T
BOTH OF YOU
1M NOT GO1NG TO 4USP1CT1C3 FOR YOU GUYS

[threshprince]

I JUST SAID IT'S NOT THAT KIND OF
OH FUCK IT.