Is This What It Takes To Keep Me Alive?
Last night was pretty fun. One of the better nights I have had for a while. Me, Charlie, Woody, and Larry decided to go to Delta cause everyone else went, like Robert, Shane Metcalf, Jessica, and all them. We talked to Karen Morfitt, she seemed like she was pretty cool, then we seen Tyner and he said to come out to the party cause Trevor wouldn't start shit, so we drove all the way out there in Nathan's car. Parker and Curt were out there with Renee and Camill. It was an alright party, but we didn't stay long. We came back, and me and Charlie went with Jessica, Robert, and Shane and drank ALL fucking night and just did stupid shit, like call people when we were drunk and shit. Robert called Curt at like 3 in the morning and Jessica was in the background going "is that Curt? he's such a fag, fuckin fag" like right next to Robert, cause she doesn't like him for some reason. She is way fuckin cool too, even though she is with Charlie. Haha. But yeah, we drank until like 4:30 in the morning then Jessica took me home. Kinda scary riding with a drunk driver, but I lived I guess. I had no other way home. So all in all it was a good night. Me and Jessica talked about how we are both 21, so we would give them fake names if we got busted. She would say she is Jamie, her sister who is like 18, and I would say I am Kyle Mayberry or someone. Haha, good times.
On another note, it seems like I have basically lost all of my old friends. I dunno, people just take shit the wrong way, and always think they are right, without even considering my point of view or my motives, and it sucks, but what can I do? I don't want to lose certain people as friends, but if they are too stubborn or stuck in their own little world or whatever to see that I care, then I am fucked I guess. I guess when you lose it all, it helps you to find yourself, and there is nowhere to go but up, right? I don't think things can get worse than they already are. I have been finding out who is real and who isn't, and as much as it all hurts, in the end, it's doing me good. It's stuff that I need to know. Everything ends badly though, right? Otherwise, it wouldn't end. So to those who I have hurt, or those who think I don't care, one person in particular, you know who you are, I am sorry. I only want whats best for you. I know what a great person you are, even if you are surrounded by shit in this world, and I just want to see you smile. See you happy. Even if that means you taking a chance on something that I think is wrong, if it makes you happy, do it. Be happy. Be true to yourself. Fuck everyone else, even me.
On another note, it seems like I have basically lost all of my old friends. I dunno, people just take shit the wrong way, and always think they are right, without even considering my point of view or my motives, and it sucks, but what can I do? I don't want to lose certain people as friends, but if they are too stubborn or stuck in their own little world or whatever to see that I care, then I am fucked I guess. I guess when you lose it all, it helps you to find yourself, and there is nowhere to go but up, right? I don't think things can get worse than they already are. I have been finding out who is real and who isn't, and as much as it all hurts, in the end, it's doing me good. It's stuff that I need to know. Everything ends badly though, right? Otherwise, it wouldn't end. So to those who I have hurt, or those who think I don't care, one person in particular, you know who you are, I am sorry. I only want whats best for you. I know what a great person you are, even if you are surrounded by shit in this world, and I just want to see you smile. See you happy. Even if that means you taking a chance on something that I think is wrong, if it makes you happy, do it. Be happy. Be true to yourself. Fuck everyone else, even me.