(no subject)
i got in a fight with my mom tonight while looking for my birth certificate(so i could get into canada--which is another story in itself.. and if i did go, believe me, i wouldn't be making a livejournal post right now).
it was awesome.
i really like hearing my step dad bash me from the other side of the door. it's absolutely fucking fantastic. the same man that never says a word to me, no exaggeration. we say "hello" when he gets home.. and thats it.
i hate this house.
i hate this city.
i want to move to france. yes, france.. or london. i'd like london, i think..
i loves me some tea.
ugh. i'm so bored.. so very, very bored.. with everything. i don't want to work and live at home and do the same thing everyday.. see the same people everyday (no offense to any of the people i see everyday).. i'm just bored.. i've run out of ideas. i can't stand it and i want to rip my hair out.
i'm also sick of not being able to trust anyone. i see the way people act daily, and it makes me ill. i've been noticing all these little things about everyone.. such stupid, petty, ridiculous things and i have absolutely no room to talk, because i'm so similar. i'm just as bad, if not worse. intense.
i don't like myself, i've realized.
no, not in that.. "please, comment and tell me how wonderful i am" kind of way.
sometimes, yes, but i don't think those times i do are for the right reasons.
half the time, i'm twelve years old.. and it's sick. but, everyone else is like that so why should it matter?
my brain is fighting itself.
i may just be insane.
who knows.
maybe i'll grow up.
being melodramatic rules.
this journal is pointless.
it was awesome.
i really like hearing my step dad bash me from the other side of the door. it's absolutely fucking fantastic. the same man that never says a word to me, no exaggeration. we say "hello" when he gets home.. and thats it.
i hate this house.
i hate this city.
i want to move to france. yes, france.. or london. i'd like london, i think..
i loves me some tea.
ugh. i'm so bored.. so very, very bored.. with everything. i don't want to work and live at home and do the same thing everyday.. see the same people everyday (no offense to any of the people i see everyday).. i'm just bored.. i've run out of ideas. i can't stand it and i want to rip my hair out.
i'm also sick of not being able to trust anyone. i see the way people act daily, and it makes me ill. i've been noticing all these little things about everyone.. such stupid, petty, ridiculous things and i have absolutely no room to talk, because i'm so similar. i'm just as bad, if not worse. intense.
i don't like myself, i've realized.
no, not in that.. "please, comment and tell me how wonderful i am" kind of way.
sometimes, yes, but i don't think those times i do are for the right reasons.
half the time, i'm twelve years old.. and it's sick. but, everyone else is like that so why should it matter?
my brain is fighting itself.
i may just be insane.
who knows.
maybe i'll grow up.
being melodramatic rules.
this journal is pointless.