[JP] Do you believe in a clean slate?
[Set in breakcityheart. Garrett is the_bestman, Ephram is write_tragedies. Set after THIS.]
“You. My office. Now.”
Garrett looked up at her out of the corner of his eye, before shaking his head and going back to the car in front of him. “I’m in the middle of something.”
Lara could see that. Maybe she was reading into things a bit more than she should, but there was something more than just the carburetor in front of him that was causing him grief. That plus her awkward and antagonistic conversation with Ephram via the internet wasn’t helping. She knew that something was wrong, and she was going to figure it out. “Yeah. Which is why we need to talk before you break the nuts with your wrench instead of just tightening them.”
Garrett looked up from what he was doing, fingers tightening around the wrench for a moment before turning the face her again, pointing it in her direction. “You talk to him?”
“He posted something online. Garrett-”
“He told me he loved me.” He cut her off without even blinking. “He told me he loved me, and then not long after he told me we’d never be friends.”
Lara took a deep breath, closing her eyes for a moment, before responding. “Garrett, I know how much he means to you. And I know how much you mean to him-”
“He told me to take a leap!” Now Garrett was starting to get really worked up, which is why she wanted to do this in her office. “Does he realize how many fucking leaps I’ve taken for him? I should have shoved him off back in Iowa, but I didn’t, and I know that my whole involvement in this has just been a mix of messed up signals but I can’t take that back now.” He took a breath, turning to face the car again and resting his elbows on the edge of the car. “I don’t know what he wants from me.”
She was quiet for a moment, moving over to lean against the side of the car before speaking again. “From what he says it seems like he made that all pretty clear.”
“Yeah, with what he said. It’s all words for him. Always has been. The actions-they never seem to back it up.” He took another breath, letting his forehead rest against his wrist lightly. “I guess I’m just tired of being used for words.”
“He did respect your wishes, Garrett. He stayed friends, even when he didn’t want to.”
“But he lied to me. And he only did it because he thought we’d get back together again. He can’t just be friends. He-he always has to have more. And I can’t do that with him again.”
“So tell him that.” Garrett was quiet for a long time, and she shook her head. “You don’t want to.” He was just quiet some more, and she shook her head before moving behind him, placing her hands on his shoulders lightly. “If you love him, tell him that. If you want to be with him, do it. Either you’re overthinking it, or this really isn’t what you want, but either way-you have to make a decision, Garrett. People can’t make it for you.”
“I know,” he said softly, one hand moving up to cover hers, giving it a bit of a squeeze. “I know. I just-have to think. This isn’t the easiest decision I’ve ever made, alright?”
“I know,” she nodded, before letting go and heading back to her office. “Just make it.” Though, she knew without a doubt that that was easier said than done.
“You. My office. Now.”
Garrett looked up at her out of the corner of his eye, before shaking his head and going back to the car in front of him. “I’m in the middle of something.”
Lara could see that. Maybe she was reading into things a bit more than she should, but there was something more than just the carburetor in front of him that was causing him grief. That plus her awkward and antagonistic conversation with Ephram via the internet wasn’t helping. She knew that something was wrong, and she was going to figure it out. “Yeah. Which is why we need to talk before you break the nuts with your wrench instead of just tightening them.”
Garrett looked up from what he was doing, fingers tightening around the wrench for a moment before turning the face her again, pointing it in her direction. “You talk to him?”
“He posted something online. Garrett-”
“He told me he loved me.” He cut her off without even blinking. “He told me he loved me, and then not long after he told me we’d never be friends.”
Lara took a deep breath, closing her eyes for a moment, before responding. “Garrett, I know how much he means to you. And I know how much you mean to him-”
“He told me to take a leap!” Now Garrett was starting to get really worked up, which is why she wanted to do this in her office. “Does he realize how many fucking leaps I’ve taken for him? I should have shoved him off back in Iowa, but I didn’t, and I know that my whole involvement in this has just been a mix of messed up signals but I can’t take that back now.” He took a breath, turning to face the car again and resting his elbows on the edge of the car. “I don’t know what he wants from me.”
She was quiet for a moment, moving over to lean against the side of the car before speaking again. “From what he says it seems like he made that all pretty clear.”
“Yeah, with what he said. It’s all words for him. Always has been. The actions-they never seem to back it up.” He took another breath, letting his forehead rest against his wrist lightly. “I guess I’m just tired of being used for words.”
“He did respect your wishes, Garrett. He stayed friends, even when he didn’t want to.”
“But he lied to me. And he only did it because he thought we’d get back together again. He can’t just be friends. He-he always has to have more. And I can’t do that with him again.”
“So tell him that.” Garrett was quiet for a long time, and she shook her head. “You don’t want to.” He was just quiet some more, and she shook her head before moving behind him, placing her hands on his shoulders lightly. “If you love him, tell him that. If you want to be with him, do it. Either you’re overthinking it, or this really isn’t what you want, but either way-you have to make a decision, Garrett. People can’t make it for you.”
“I know,” he said softly, one hand moving up to cover hers, giving it a bit of a squeeze. “I know. I just-have to think. This isn’t the easiest decision I’ve ever made, alright?”
“I know,” she nodded, before letting go and heading back to her office. “Just make it.” Though, she knew without a doubt that that was easier said than done.