To The Edge And Back Again...
Work is slow as hell today. We're in transistion. Yes, another transistion. I can't say anymore. Nothing dramatic like before, but a transistion just the same.
Anyways.
I've had a hard time with her moving on and seeing other guys. It just seems a little fast to me, but it's not my life, it's hers and because I want to be friends still I have to sit back and act cool. "Act cool," when in reality I'm going crazy inside. It's awesome however that I have people to talk to about it, including her best friend who knows her better than I probably can ever hope to. She told me something last night that helped..."She just can't go without dating..." and I already knew this, but, failed to recognize that this would happen. I should have seen it, it only took 3 months for her to start dating me after him.
So, I've been trying to avoid contacting her. I had to today. I needed her to read an e-mail I wrote. I needed her opinion, but other than that I'm gonna try and let her live her life and not interfere, not like activly avoid her, but let her contact me if she wants to hang out/whatever...I just hate calling her and hearing..."Oh, well, I'm busy tonight...I'm hanging out with...him" because then my "Mr. Brightside" mechanism kicks in. I start having thoughts about her kissing other guys...and other stuff...and on and on and it cycles in my head over and over.
So, I guess in a way I'm protecting myself.
I still think about her everyday, I wonder what she's doing, I see her smile and hear her laugh. I imagine sitting and talking with her.
It sucks.
But.
That's just the way I am. I need someone else to take my mind off of her. I think I might have someone, but we're good friends...and I really don't think it'll progress past that, and I'm not gonna push it. It's nice to have a genuine crush though, it does help get my mind off what went wrong, or how he is better than me.
Drink, Smoke, Drink, Smoke This Is What We Do!
Went to the Me First show at El Corozan Saturday night. One word: Comedy...Pure fucking punk rock comedy. Those guys are good times...
Bane is coming to town...I must acquire tickets...
Queens Of the Stone Age's new album...is...fucking...amazing and it came out today...purchase this album...
I'm stoked for that show too, even though it's at the shitty premiere.
I'm getting tickets to the Motley Crue and Velvet Revolver shows too(AUBURN REPRESENT!)...Fuck yeah!
My life has been a battle with myself for the past 2 months, I'm just glad I have the love of my friends...if I didn't have that I'd be lost...
Thank you SO fucking much...you know who you are...
Anyways.
I've had a hard time with her moving on and seeing other guys. It just seems a little fast to me, but it's not my life, it's hers and because I want to be friends still I have to sit back and act cool. "Act cool," when in reality I'm going crazy inside. It's awesome however that I have people to talk to about it, including her best friend who knows her better than I probably can ever hope to. She told me something last night that helped..."She just can't go without dating..." and I already knew this, but, failed to recognize that this would happen. I should have seen it, it only took 3 months for her to start dating me after him.
So, I've been trying to avoid contacting her. I had to today. I needed her to read an e-mail I wrote. I needed her opinion, but other than that I'm gonna try and let her live her life and not interfere, not like activly avoid her, but let her contact me if she wants to hang out/whatever...I just hate calling her and hearing..."Oh, well, I'm busy tonight...I'm hanging out with...him" because then my "Mr. Brightside" mechanism kicks in. I start having thoughts about her kissing other guys...and other stuff...and on and on and it cycles in my head over and over.
So, I guess in a way I'm protecting myself.
I still think about her everyday, I wonder what she's doing, I see her smile and hear her laugh. I imagine sitting and talking with her.
It sucks.
But.
That's just the way I am. I need someone else to take my mind off of her. I think I might have someone, but we're good friends...and I really don't think it'll progress past that, and I'm not gonna push it. It's nice to have a genuine crush though, it does help get my mind off what went wrong, or how he is better than me.
Drink, Smoke, Drink, Smoke This Is What We Do!
Went to the Me First show at El Corozan Saturday night. One word: Comedy...Pure fucking punk rock comedy. Those guys are good times...
Bane is coming to town...I must acquire tickets...
Queens Of the Stone Age's new album...is...fucking...amazing and it came out today...purchase this album...
I'm stoked for that show too, even though it's at the shitty premiere.
I'm getting tickets to the Motley Crue and Velvet Revolver shows too(AUBURN REPRESENT!)...Fuck yeah!
My life has been a battle with myself for the past 2 months, I'm just glad I have the love of my friends...if I didn't have that I'd be lost...
Thank you SO fucking much...you know who you are...