Linda! I was, like, soooo totally worried about you! Those scientist guys kidnapped you and I was all, "Oh my gawd, no you don't," and they were like, "Holy crap, he's totally serious," so now you're here! This is so awesome!
Ohmigosh, well, like, I'd totally do anything for you, too, okay? Except pukey stuff. Like walking in mud, or eating worms, or cutting my hair, or talk to Russing guys, or step on rabbit poop, or break a nail, or gutting fish, or paint my nails not-matching colors, or eat moldy bread, or wear two socks, or a bunch of other stuff.
Don't worry, Linda! I'd totally never make you do any of that grody stuff. If you had to wear two socks, I'd take the other one and wear the other one for you.
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But everything else, I'd so totally do for you!
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