(no subject)
Mucho late!
Title: She Used to Ride Horses
Character, Ship(s) if any: Tanya/Edward, Tanya/Jacob, Jacob/Bella
Rating: pg (maybe pg-13 hints of sex?)
A/N: This was awesomely beta'd by deadduck08 because she is fantasmico.
Summary: “I saw him” Tanya says and Rose nods and sighs and wish that lives wouldn’t change (wouldn’t end)
The first time she sees Jacob he’s next to the sheriff talking in hushed whispers with drawn looks and she would have known who he was anyway from the look in his eyes and the hunch in his shoulders. He smells like the horse her father gave her when it was out in the rain, dirty and musty and familiar. But he sniffs the air and his face turns and she’s gone before he figures out why.
She enters the house with a politician’s smile, warm and inviting but she doesn’t know why. Alice looks surprised and she smiles. “What are you doing here?” Edward says, teeth bared, but eyes down, ashamed, not wanting to remember. Rosalie asserts she invited her and Edward’s confused and Tanya smiles. He never did understand women, not even after 100 years.
She thinks of hands cold and nimble that played on her neck and snow that molded to their bodies and red hair slipping through her fingers and wishing he would burn her, marring their false perfection. She knows he won’t hear her, he doesn’t listen (not anymore).
Esme’s and Carlisle’s smiles match her own and she knows they wonder how Edward feels about her there and she says it’s been a while and pretends she doesn’t care.
She wouldn’t have slept if she could but instead sits with Rose and they both hurt with someone else’s pain. They may hate each other but they hate what’s coming more. “I saw him” Tanya says and Rose nods and sighs and wish that lives wouldn’t change (wouldn’t end).
“She’s the opposite of you,” Edward says when he finds her on his couch, legs folded under her, staring at the wall ahead. Tanya smiles. “So you have been trying to forget me.” He leaves after that and doesn’t look back but it doesn’t matter like it should, she’s been prepared for a while. Her heart stopped beating before she met him, does it matter if it’s torn out now?
Rosalie lets her into the bride’s room with a nod and a secret smile, and when she enters she stumbles over an ottoman and falls, cutting her finger on the side of the glass table. Tanya barely falters because it’s been so long after all. Bella knows who she is and says as much, adding details about how she’s not to believe a word Tanya says and Tanya almost smiles at how thorough he is. “It’s different after,” she says, and Bella doesn’t understand, “You don’t feel it like you should, the power means nothing when you share it. You should feel vulnerable.” Tanya knows (she used to ride horses after all).
She sits next to him in church and he barely sees her, just wrinkles his nose frowns. He mutters something about more leeches like them, eyes never leaving the bride. His shoulders stay forward like before and his arms creep towards his sides and he’s holding himself together and she shudders for a second. I know what it’s like” she says to him, her voice softer than she could imagine it being, “Even when he left I never thought this would happen. I thought in his mind there’d always be me. And when he left her last year I thought he’d come find me.” A knowing nod, oh, she knows. She doesn’t know what she’s saying or why but it feels right (no, wrong) and his hair is exactly the shade she remembers and she wonders why she would feel like this for someone who reminds her of a horse.
Bella and Edward leave for their honeymoon, it’s Russia then college with no break in between and Tanya wonders if she’ll take her advice. Then Jacob is staring at her and he doesn’t blink and his face is caught between self loathing and fascination and oh no no no no no, but she’s hurting like he is and she figures she might as well. And she touches his hand and it almost burns and she wonders if this is right, but if it was right she would be in Russia and he would be somewhere else burning cupcakes by accident with sugar spots on his nose.
She doesn’t want to but she stays and no one understands. They tell Edward eventually and Jacob asks what Bella said but she doesn’t know and she doesn’t want to because she doesn’t like girls taking the things that are hers (and he is with clumsy hands and a clumsy heart).
A year’s worth of rain and still no one understands but they can’t say no to monsters and magic because it’s who they are. She learns to need him and they’re Thursdays and clouds and things in the oven and anticipation that she loves with biting lips and baited breath. Then one day Bella’s back with yellow eyes and freezing skin and mistakes and Jacob’s gone and Tanya wonders if there are some things more powerful than magic. She doesn’t wait to find out because needing and wanting go hand in hand with running and she’s gone.
She misses the way he smells more than she could have imagined.
(She didn’t know she would.)
xposted everywhere
sortofbeautiful
twiriginal
yougetgrey
la_bellaragazza
twilight_book
Title: She Used to Ride Horses
Character, Ship(s) if any: Tanya/Edward, Tanya/Jacob, Jacob/Bella
Rating: pg (maybe pg-13 hints of sex?)
A/N: This was awesomely beta'd by deadduck08 because she is fantasmico.
Summary: “I saw him” Tanya says and Rose nods and sighs and wish that lives wouldn’t change (wouldn’t end)
The first time she sees Jacob he’s next to the sheriff talking in hushed whispers with drawn looks and she would have known who he was anyway from the look in his eyes and the hunch in his shoulders. He smells like the horse her father gave her when it was out in the rain, dirty and musty and familiar. But he sniffs the air and his face turns and she’s gone before he figures out why.
She enters the house with a politician’s smile, warm and inviting but she doesn’t know why. Alice looks surprised and she smiles. “What are you doing here?” Edward says, teeth bared, but eyes down, ashamed, not wanting to remember. Rosalie asserts she invited her and Edward’s confused and Tanya smiles. He never did understand women, not even after 100 years.
She thinks of hands cold and nimble that played on her neck and snow that molded to their bodies and red hair slipping through her fingers and wishing he would burn her, marring their false perfection. She knows he won’t hear her, he doesn’t listen (not anymore).
Esme’s and Carlisle’s smiles match her own and she knows they wonder how Edward feels about her there and she says it’s been a while and pretends she doesn’t care.
She wouldn’t have slept if she could but instead sits with Rose and they both hurt with someone else’s pain. They may hate each other but they hate what’s coming more. “I saw him” Tanya says and Rose nods and sighs and wish that lives wouldn’t change (wouldn’t end).
“She’s the opposite of you,” Edward says when he finds her on his couch, legs folded under her, staring at the wall ahead. Tanya smiles. “So you have been trying to forget me.” He leaves after that and doesn’t look back but it doesn’t matter like it should, she’s been prepared for a while. Her heart stopped beating before she met him, does it matter if it’s torn out now?
Rosalie lets her into the bride’s room with a nod and a secret smile, and when she enters she stumbles over an ottoman and falls, cutting her finger on the side of the glass table. Tanya barely falters because it’s been so long after all. Bella knows who she is and says as much, adding details about how she’s not to believe a word Tanya says and Tanya almost smiles at how thorough he is. “It’s different after,” she says, and Bella doesn’t understand, “You don’t feel it like you should, the power means nothing when you share it. You should feel vulnerable.” Tanya knows (she used to ride horses after all).
She sits next to him in church and he barely sees her, just wrinkles his nose frowns. He mutters something about more leeches like them, eyes never leaving the bride. His shoulders stay forward like before and his arms creep towards his sides and he’s holding himself together and she shudders for a second. I know what it’s like” she says to him, her voice softer than she could imagine it being, “Even when he left I never thought this would happen. I thought in his mind there’d always be me. And when he left her last year I thought he’d come find me.” A knowing nod, oh, she knows. She doesn’t know what she’s saying or why but it feels right (no, wrong) and his hair is exactly the shade she remembers and she wonders why she would feel like this for someone who reminds her of a horse.
Bella and Edward leave for their honeymoon, it’s Russia then college with no break in between and Tanya wonders if she’ll take her advice. Then Jacob is staring at her and he doesn’t blink and his face is caught between self loathing and fascination and oh no no no no no, but she’s hurting like he is and she figures she might as well. And she touches his hand and it almost burns and she wonders if this is right, but if it was right she would be in Russia and he would be somewhere else burning cupcakes by accident with sugar spots on his nose.
She doesn’t want to but she stays and no one understands. They tell Edward eventually and Jacob asks what Bella said but she doesn’t know and she doesn’t want to because she doesn’t like girls taking the things that are hers (and he is with clumsy hands and a clumsy heart).
A year’s worth of rain and still no one understands but they can’t say no to monsters and magic because it’s who they are. She learns to need him and they’re Thursdays and clouds and things in the oven and anticipation that she loves with biting lips and baited breath. Then one day Bella’s back with yellow eyes and freezing skin and mistakes and Jacob’s gone and Tanya wonders if there are some things more powerful than magic. She doesn’t wait to find out because needing and wanting go hand in hand with running and she’s gone.
She misses the way he smells more than she could have imagined.
(She didn’t know she would.)
xposted everywhere
sortofbeautiful
twiriginal
yougetgrey
la_bellaragazza
twilight_book