Uberzahliges Dasein/entspringt mir Herzen.
Siehe, ich lebe. Woraus? Weder Kindheit noch Zukunft/werden weniger...
I don't know if writing in my journal is the correct action to take right now, but it's the only thing I can do. I feel useless. This has been the Week from Hell; you can ask Steven, he will tell you. He'll tell you how I've been a Bitch Supreme since Sunday night, when I realized I frittered away my entire weekend without getting anything done. He'll tell you how I panicked over my extensive lab homework and my lab exam on Tuesday... how I was hysterical over my organic chemistry exam at 7:30 am Wednesday... how I crammed all day & night yesterday for my anatomy exam today, collapsed into bed at 3 am, and suddenly remembered I had a paper due for economics this morning. FUCK. I am grateful to him for putting up with me, especially because all the stress this week has been exacerbated by the fact that I have to decide my entire future by April 12, 2007.
I was accepted into the BS program, pharmaceutical sciences. Not what I was going for, but still kind of a big deal. This provisional admittance made me rethink my decision to rearrange my course of study. I've talked to several of my friends who know me very well. All give me the same advice: do what you want to do. Switch schools, change majors, your heart is not in your work right now. Enjoy your life. All this sounds lovely, until Easter Sunday when my extended family is toasting their whiskeys to my acceptance and my bright future. Or when my uncle is roaring excitedly about how his friend switched from pharmacist to drug sales and tripled his income. Or when my mom calls me to say she told the handsome young anesthesiologist she works with that I might consider an English major, and HE told her to tell me: "Go home, read a book, and get it out of your system."
Most importantly, I know I want to switch. But I feel guilty because despite all this ridiculousness, they're making a few good points. I have a great scholarship and an excellent opportunity that I would indeed be throwing out the window. For what? Uncertainty. I'm halfway through, if I decide to pursue that degree. Two years doesn't sound so bad. Not to mention the huge hassle that comes with finding another school, reapplying, moving, readjusting...
I'm going to cry. My mom just called to tell me that if I decide to switch, I obviously have no motivation to succeed. I hate this.
Any miraculous solutions? I'd like to hear them.
I don't know if writing in my journal is the correct action to take right now, but it's the only thing I can do. I feel useless. This has been the Week from Hell; you can ask Steven, he will tell you. He'll tell you how I've been a Bitch Supreme since Sunday night, when I realized I frittered away my entire weekend without getting anything done. He'll tell you how I panicked over my extensive lab homework and my lab exam on Tuesday... how I was hysterical over my organic chemistry exam at 7:30 am Wednesday... how I crammed all day & night yesterday for my anatomy exam today, collapsed into bed at 3 am, and suddenly remembered I had a paper due for economics this morning. FUCK. I am grateful to him for putting up with me, especially because all the stress this week has been exacerbated by the fact that I have to decide my entire future by April 12, 2007.
I was accepted into the BS program, pharmaceutical sciences. Not what I was going for, but still kind of a big deal. This provisional admittance made me rethink my decision to rearrange my course of study. I've talked to several of my friends who know me very well. All give me the same advice: do what you want to do. Switch schools, change majors, your heart is not in your work right now. Enjoy your life. All this sounds lovely, until Easter Sunday when my extended family is toasting their whiskeys to my acceptance and my bright future. Or when my uncle is roaring excitedly about how his friend switched from pharmacist to drug sales and tripled his income. Or when my mom calls me to say she told the handsome young anesthesiologist she works with that I might consider an English major, and HE told her to tell me: "Go home, read a book, and get it out of your system."
Most importantly, I know I want to switch. But I feel guilty because despite all this ridiculousness, they're making a few good points. I have a great scholarship and an excellent opportunity that I would indeed be throwing out the window. For what? Uncertainty. I'm halfway through, if I decide to pursue that degree. Two years doesn't sound so bad. Not to mention the huge hassle that comes with finding another school, reapplying, moving, readjusting...
I'm going to cry. My mom just called to tell me that if I decide to switch, I obviously have no motivation to succeed. I hate this.
Any miraculous solutions? I'd like to hear them.