thinking....
ive been thinking, and thinking gets myself to know me better. ive realized things like(not to sound stuck up...)im remotely popular. i mean, people know me. i have quite a few friends and hardly any enemies *cough*... i may have more enemies than i know but theyre probably mostly not giving me a chance. oh i dont like her because shes a bit chunky. oh i dont like her because she did mean things to someone who manipulated me into not liking her. oh i dont like her because shes a poser. blahblahblahblahblah. well fuck them. i probably dont like them either. one thing ive realized about my friends is that if im walking in the hallway and having a conversation with one person, everyone i pass that i know says something to me and i disrupt the original conversation. i must annoy people. but its not my fault! for example i was walking with this julie girl in my english class, and we were talking about stuff, i cant remember what, but ya, i saw my cousin in the hallway so i said hey to him, and then i saw this really cute kid..im pretty sure she had downs. she was SO adorable. but i felt really bad because i kept getting distracted. it was the same when i was walking with kat to our classes. people kept poking me, i must be the god damned pillsbury doughboy. i also had a what if moment today. what if i went to dolphin instead of green glade. id probably be at streetsville, but would i be friends with the same people? would i be BETTER friends with my current friends or worse friends? i could have probably changed some friend groups a bit. id probably be like uber friends with kylie. id never know brigit, though. that would be really weird. yeah my life would be pretty different, but it would probably be even more different if i went to lorne park instead of streetsville. i probably would be a totally different person and not as happy with myself as i am now. i do know for a fact i most likely would have had a boyfriend at the beginning of grade nine that i actually really liked. i liked this guy and he really liked me, he went to LP but i met him in a chat room, my friends knew him though. we probably would have gone out, but...nope. i went to streetsville. to this day ive never met him. but i just looked at his profile..hes not that hot. he was hotter back in the day with longer hair, hes got a buzz cut now and is all thugged out. he loooks rather familiar though. kind of like a mix of david and this guy chris i know. thank god i didnt go out with him. ahhaha sometimes im so self centered. would i be fluent if i went to lorne park? probably. id probably be like uber french, and like..know everything. and id probably be failing everything insanely. right now im only failing math...andmaybe yearbook but we dont talk about that. english i shouldnt be failing and italian im getting an 89. i dont know, school is okay but i think im getting a little annoying. i need to calm down, im starting to, but i dont want to calm down so much that i get bitchy. im also starting to eat better. oo today i got invited to some movie premiere for these guys skateboarding movie. jay invited me...hes like, uber hot. kylie will probably come with me. jay totally caught me off guard when he asked me though. i was like uhh.... okay. at first he asked me if i knew all these people... i was just like, i know of them. at first he was like do you know me. i was like, youre jay. and hes like okay then he asked me like 20 other people and then he was like okay you should come to the premiere for our movie. it just caught me off guard, but i said okay, why wouldnt i, jays hot and so are skateboarders in general. lol, if kylie goes darren will probably like...hit on her or something. its darren, he always does. i need to go shopping. i need to get a new nose and eyebrow ring for my mri, maybe new balls for my eyebrow ring, blank cds and maybe new pants. my mom wants to get drain cleaner stuff for the sink, its clogged I DIDNT DO IT!!!...haha okay maybe it was partially/mostly my fault...just jamming things down that sink. its worse in the kitchen, when i do the dishes i jam like...an entire orange slice down there hahahaha and cigarette butts haha my family is so gross sometimes. i got the green day tickets, all 11 of them. gave them to everyone, got mine, everyones set. except kylie, hers are wrapped, i forgot to bring them to school today. oh well. eww i have my mri tomorrow. industrial friday!!! my plans still working. see my moms going away friday, so i wasnt sure if i could get her to take me to get my industrial. its legal for me to get it without her permission, but i need photo id which im lacking. stupid ..stupid people. anyways ive run out of things to ramble on about...off to ...whatever.