Monotony
As of late, life has been very monotonous. I have recieved some dismally horrific blows in the last week, and they have made what promised to be atleast a mediocre to good rest of the summer a huge letdown and quite upsetting. Firstly and most grievously, my Uncle's girlfriend Pam is on her deathbed. She has been dying of pancreatic cancer and three weeks ago her digestive system failed. Basically, she is starving to death because she cannot digest food. My parents went to see her on Sunday and said the top half of her body was all skin and bones, while her legs were swollen from malnutrition. It is a wonder that she hasn't passed on already. She is a wonderful human being and the prospect of her death and consequential funeral has made me very sad indeed. She has always been humble and selfless, even when she is on the brink of dying. Her loss is going to come as a real blow, even though we have been expecting it. The world will be lacking without her.
Secondly, I am no longer going to california. Patrick, the fucking idiot that he is, broke his tooth off and now can't afford to go because he has to pay to get it fixed. Because of this, I'm not going either, because I really just don't want to go to California alone. Therefore the vacation that I have been looking forward to almost all summer is cancelled. Nothing exciting is scheduled to happen. This was another tough thing to deal with, although clearly not nearly as tough as the former, but California was supposed to be an freedom from the exile of the horrible things happening in New York right now, something which I now must do without. It's as though I'm encased in sad news all the time now, and since I am not going on vacation, there won't be any escape, not even momentary.
I decided I might go to Cape Cod at the end of August to make up for my lack of vacation, but not even that has been decided yet. I really do need to get away, though. I know that. During the week that I was supposed to go to California, I scheduled to go to about 8 concerts at the Bard Music Festival, all of which I can get free tickets for (even though they cost upwards of 60 bucks!). This is something that I really am looking forward to, because I know the calibur of music that is played here and the people who are directing the program. It is a really famous program; people come from all over the country to see these concerts, and I will be devoting nearly two full weekends to going to these performances. I am hoping to either stay with Josh or with a friend who is living at Bard already...I know that both Kelly and Ashleigh will be here. Although not a vacation, these concerts are something that I really can't wait to see.
Tonight I got tickets for kAthY's birthday to the two operas "Der Zwerg" and "A Florentine Tragedy." I am really hoping that she will enjoy these, as they are not musicals but operas. I know she appreciates good music when she hears it, but I am really hoping that this suprise (since I am keeping it totally secret until we actually get to the show) will be a pleasant, if not really exciting one, as opposed to one she feels apathetic or only vaguely amused about. I'm certainly excited, but then again, I'm the opera major.
Lastly, although this summer has been droll and monotonous, I have found one outlet for releasing tension and putting some variety into my life. Since the 4th of July, I've been quite invovled with Josh - we are dating without the label. I've been seeing him for a month now, which is almost a record amount of time for me - and I'm really enjoying his company. No doubts in my mind. Maybe it's the fact that I know there's a finality to it; in the fall he will be transferring to a college in Michigan. Either way, things are going really well between us. I really do like him, and am disappointed to know that this will be over soon, since long distance has never ever been my forte. For now we are just fooling around, hanging out, enjoying being with one another, and not worrying about the whole label thing and about what's to come regarding us. It's quite nice. We're great together.
Anyway, back to work, I suppose. Working at Bard is nice, by the way; I really love being in the environment that I feel the closest to. I can't effing wait for the fall term - it honestly can't come soon enough. I really miss everyone; my friends, my professors...it really feels like I have a hole in my life without them. But, soon enough, that hole will be filled again (giggity).
Secondly, I am no longer going to california. Patrick, the fucking idiot that he is, broke his tooth off and now can't afford to go because he has to pay to get it fixed. Because of this, I'm not going either, because I really just don't want to go to California alone. Therefore the vacation that I have been looking forward to almost all summer is cancelled. Nothing exciting is scheduled to happen. This was another tough thing to deal with, although clearly not nearly as tough as the former, but California was supposed to be an freedom from the exile of the horrible things happening in New York right now, something which I now must do without. It's as though I'm encased in sad news all the time now, and since I am not going on vacation, there won't be any escape, not even momentary.
I decided I might go to Cape Cod at the end of August to make up for my lack of vacation, but not even that has been decided yet. I really do need to get away, though. I know that. During the week that I was supposed to go to California, I scheduled to go to about 8 concerts at the Bard Music Festival, all of which I can get free tickets for (even though they cost upwards of 60 bucks!). This is something that I really am looking forward to, because I know the calibur of music that is played here and the people who are directing the program. It is a really famous program; people come from all over the country to see these concerts, and I will be devoting nearly two full weekends to going to these performances. I am hoping to either stay with Josh or with a friend who is living at Bard already...I know that both Kelly and Ashleigh will be here. Although not a vacation, these concerts are something that I really can't wait to see.
Tonight I got tickets for kAthY's birthday to the two operas "Der Zwerg" and "A Florentine Tragedy." I am really hoping that she will enjoy these, as they are not musicals but operas. I know she appreciates good music when she hears it, but I am really hoping that this suprise (since I am keeping it totally secret until we actually get to the show) will be a pleasant, if not really exciting one, as opposed to one she feels apathetic or only vaguely amused about. I'm certainly excited, but then again, I'm the opera major.
Lastly, although this summer has been droll and monotonous, I have found one outlet for releasing tension and putting some variety into my life. Since the 4th of July, I've been quite invovled with Josh - we are dating without the label. I've been seeing him for a month now, which is almost a record amount of time for me - and I'm really enjoying his company. No doubts in my mind. Maybe it's the fact that I know there's a finality to it; in the fall he will be transferring to a college in Michigan. Either way, things are going really well between us. I really do like him, and am disappointed to know that this will be over soon, since long distance has never ever been my forte. For now we are just fooling around, hanging out, enjoying being with one another, and not worrying about the whole label thing and about what's to come regarding us. It's quite nice. We're great together.
Anyway, back to work, I suppose. Working at Bard is nice, by the way; I really love being in the environment that I feel the closest to. I can't effing wait for the fall term - it honestly can't come soon enough. I really miss everyone; my friends, my professors...it really feels like I have a hole in my life without them. But, soon enough, that hole will be filled again (giggity).