End of the Year Blues
There's oh so much on my mind right now. Mainly the idea of summer vacation being right around the corner (2 weeks), my concert coming up in six days (I'm getting allergies and I have this big solo I have to sing...I'm paranoid I'm going to sound like shit), the fact that a lot of my friends are graduating, the need to get a job over the summer but not really knowing where to start, the fact that I still haven't been pre-registered for 2 of my most important classes and registration closes tomorrow at noon, the jillions of finals I have to study for and the 15-page paper I have to write...in all honesty I'd rather not think anymore. I skipped both of my classes on Monday and work yesterday because I just couldn't bring myself to go. Just because I was so bored, so freaked out about all this shit I had to do, and so tired of the monotony that I really, strongly, didn't want to go.
I'm really pissed at Mike from Muddy Cup for being such a jackass, that's another thing.
As for this summer, I really really need to get a job but I can't deal with crazy full time like last summer. I barely got a day off. I really want to work part time, take piano and voice lessons, and be able to take a vacation when I want to. I like having a job, but I also like having a life. I have a lot to think about this summer. I have a lot I need to accomplish.
I also really don't want to leave Bard, because that means a lot of changes. Next year I won't be living in the suite, donny won't be here, lisa will be back, I'll be on South Campus, I'll be taking a shitload of credits (half of them not music classes...yipes), and a lot of my close friends will be gone. Bard is ever-changing, though not necessarily for the worse. It just takes time to adjust and I'm not sure if I'm ready. This year has been really great, and sometimes I just want it to last much longer instead of ending so abruptly.
I'm pretty much just really stressed thinking about all this crap. I just want to be settled into the summer already, so I can stop thinking about finals and jobs and money and piano lessons. I know within a month or so everything will be chill, but for that month I will be a crazy person. I know wanting to fast-forward time is bad, but seriously......
On a somewhat happier note I have a very fun weekend ahead of me. I can't wait. Tonight I get to go hear angie sing in the jazz concert (whoooooo), tomorrow Angie, Amelia, Georgia, and I are going to the bar to get fucked up and watch alex's band play, saturday anthony is coming over so I'll probably get laid, and sunday I am going out with my family for mother's day. I'm looking forward to Friday in particular, and I wish it were here already.
Oh, P.S. Seeing a relationship up close and personal makes me SOOOOOOOOOOOO fucking happy that I'm not in one. Sometimes I idealize relationships when looking at them from afar, just sometimes, but that all got flushed away when my roomie started dating dylan. I really like dylan and of course I love donny, but seeing them together, bickering about nothing, getting themselves involved in completely pointless drama, and then having to console one another after a petty fight is the epitome of why I don't date. Dealing with someone else's crap? Not my style. I have enough of my own crap to deal with. (and P.S...it's really awkward being in a room while they are at ends with one another).
Anyway. It is now 11:21, I am starving, I am at work, and I have another hour to go until I leave. No one is here so I am basically wasting my fucking time. I guess I'll go...check my facebook instead of writing this paper I'm supposed to write. Who fucking writes a paper at work anyway? *sighhhhhh*
I'm really pissed at Mike from Muddy Cup for being such a jackass, that's another thing.
As for this summer, I really really need to get a job but I can't deal with crazy full time like last summer. I barely got a day off. I really want to work part time, take piano and voice lessons, and be able to take a vacation when I want to. I like having a job, but I also like having a life. I have a lot to think about this summer. I have a lot I need to accomplish.
I also really don't want to leave Bard, because that means a lot of changes. Next year I won't be living in the suite, donny won't be here, lisa will be back, I'll be on South Campus, I'll be taking a shitload of credits (half of them not music classes...yipes), and a lot of my close friends will be gone. Bard is ever-changing, though not necessarily for the worse. It just takes time to adjust and I'm not sure if I'm ready. This year has been really great, and sometimes I just want it to last much longer instead of ending so abruptly.
I'm pretty much just really stressed thinking about all this crap. I just want to be settled into the summer already, so I can stop thinking about finals and jobs and money and piano lessons. I know within a month or so everything will be chill, but for that month I will be a crazy person. I know wanting to fast-forward time is bad, but seriously......
On a somewhat happier note I have a very fun weekend ahead of me. I can't wait. Tonight I get to go hear angie sing in the jazz concert (whoooooo), tomorrow Angie, Amelia, Georgia, and I are going to the bar to get fucked up and watch alex's band play, saturday anthony is coming over so I'll probably get laid, and sunday I am going out with my family for mother's day. I'm looking forward to Friday in particular, and I wish it were here already.
Oh, P.S. Seeing a relationship up close and personal makes me SOOOOOOOOOOOO fucking happy that I'm not in one. Sometimes I idealize relationships when looking at them from afar, just sometimes, but that all got flushed away when my roomie started dating dylan. I really like dylan and of course I love donny, but seeing them together, bickering about nothing, getting themselves involved in completely pointless drama, and then having to console one another after a petty fight is the epitome of why I don't date. Dealing with someone else's crap? Not my style. I have enough of my own crap to deal with. (and P.S...it's really awkward being in a room while they are at ends with one another).
Anyway. It is now 11:21, I am starving, I am at work, and I have another hour to go until I leave. No one is here so I am basically wasting my fucking time. I guess I'll go...check my facebook instead of writing this paper I'm supposed to write. Who fucking writes a paper at work anyway? *sighhhhhh*