Dimitri Martin owns.
So I usually get my coffee at this deli by where I live, and I used to eat there too until I went in the bathroom and saw a sign that read "Employees must wash hands before returning to work... especially Carl"
One time I was in a bathroom in a stall and I looked at the wall and some wrote "Metallica Rules", and under that someone wrote "Metallica Sucks", and under that someone wrote "You suck", and under that someone wrote "Screw you", and just thought to myself, "Man... a lot of people crap with pens."
So, I decided I want to be more creative, so I'm gonna write book. But whereas most authors write in first person or third person, I'm writing in fifth person, so every sentence starts with "I heard from this guy who heard from another guy". It's a long book.
This summer I want to go to the beach and bury a whole bunch of metal objects that say "Get a Life".
My friend paid $700 for a couch that turns into a bed, and I was like "Dude, every couch turns into a bed... you just have to lay longways. You drink enough beer, everything turns into a bed. You drink even more beer, everything turns into a toilet."
Reply with your favorite Dimitri Martin joke(s). This means you Sarah.
One time I was in a bathroom in a stall and I looked at the wall and some wrote "Metallica Rules", and under that someone wrote "Metallica Sucks", and under that someone wrote "You suck", and under that someone wrote "Screw you", and just thought to myself, "Man... a lot of people crap with pens."
So, I decided I want to be more creative, so I'm gonna write book. But whereas most authors write in first person or third person, I'm writing in fifth person, so every sentence starts with "I heard from this guy who heard from another guy". It's a long book.
This summer I want to go to the beach and bury a whole bunch of metal objects that say "Get a Life".
My friend paid $700 for a couch that turns into a bed, and I was like "Dude, every couch turns into a bed... you just have to lay longways. You drink enough beer, everything turns into a bed. You drink even more beer, everything turns into a toilet."
Reply with your favorite Dimitri Martin joke(s). This means you Sarah.