the five stages of | lost | boone/shannon | 1/4youcallitwinterJune 19 2012, 20:13:21 UTC
.denial.
“Seriously,” she says, “this is ridiculous, okay. Move on.”
He stretches his legs, the sand settling down over hers, “I don’t know, I kind of like it here, Shan. You don’t own the world, you know.”
“No,” she puts her foot down literally, and she did own his world, okay, she owned him, he was hers, “everyone already thinks I’m crazy. Jack’s still looking over here with that Serious Doctor Look because I’m apparently sitting here and talking to myself.”
He grins; it’s that quick half-smile that sometimes made her heart race when she was twelve and he was the only guy around who looked at her just so, before she knew they had dictionary words and medical conditions for relationships like that, “but you’re not talking to yourself. You’re talking to me. Granted, with the amount of talking you do, it’s always rather one sided, so technically, I suppose you could be said to be talking to yourself, but-”
“You’re dead,” she informs him, because maybe he’s forgotten, which would be so like him because he was always a bit like that,
( ... )
the five stages of | lost | boone/shannon | 2/4youcallitwinterJune 19 2012, 20:14:28 UTC
.anger.
“Fuck you,” she says, and wishes she could throw something at him that wouldn’t just pass through.
Because she doesn’t deserve to be the only one hurting. Shannon knows she’s not a very good person in the whole karmic scale of things, but this is not fair.
“You already did, remember?” he strings his fingers through her hair like he used to when she was nine and if she closes her eyes hard enough, she can feel the pull.
“Funny,” she says, “so fucking hilarious. Please applaud the dead guy everyone.”
“Still a grade A bitch, I see. Not like anything huge happened to change it.” she can’t stand the affection in his tone. He’s not even supposed to be here, especially not making stupid jokes that went out of fashion circa 300 B.C.
“Fuck you,” she says again, lamely.
He grins and it’s so familiar it makes something inside her chest clench painfully, “That’s twice in two minutes. I’m starting to think it’s not so much a standardized expression as much as an exposition of a desire.”
And she wants him so badly. Has always wanted him so badly.
( ... )
the five stages of | lost | boone/shannon | 3/4youcallitwinterJune 19 2012, 20:16:21 UTC
.depression.
“Nor dread nor hope attend,” she quotes, looking up at the stars, because she’s apparently the sort of girl who does this now. Anyway, it’s the only line she remembers from her AP English class. She doesn’t know who wrote it, but it was titled Death. She remembers that.
“Careful there, Shan,” he’s lying beside her and it’s dark and she remembers the night he made love to her because that night was dark too, “people might start thinking you’re deep. You don’t want that to happen. God forbid, you might actually start helping out instead of tanning on the beach all day. And then the rescue boat will come and you’ll be just half-baked.”
“Shut up,” she slurs, “you’re not here.”
“No,” he says easily, “not really.”
“You left me,” she says, because she doesn’t think she’s said it yet and it seems to be an important thing she forgot to say.
“You’re drunk,” he states instead, “couldn’t ever handle it.”
“Please,” she scoffs, “I just pretended I couldn’t because it was hilarious seeing you getting all hot and bothered about whether to take
( ... )
the five stages of | lost | boone/shannon | 4/4youcallitwinterJune 19 2012, 20:17:18 UTC
.acceptance.
“Wait a moment,” she says to Sayid. Sayid, who always waits for her, whenever she asks, no matter how many times she asks.
She pulls Boone behind the trees like it matters, because it should matter, “seriously, are you spying on me now?”
He holds both his hands up in a gesture of surrender, “I was just leaving.”
“Good,” she snaps, “because-”
Leaving.
He’s looking at her inscrutably, and no, he doesn’t get to do this. Not again. Not over and over.
“You can’t leave,” she says, “not until I say so.”
He looks over at Sayid and she thinks something like you don’t need me now, or maybe he thinks it and she just knows because it’s them and she always knows. Or maybe it’s because he’s her hallucination and they share the same brain or whatever. But he’s still hers, either way.
And she wants to tell him he’s wrong. It isn’t about the guy-in-her-life and not needing him. Because there’s always been a guy in her life. She’s always been that sort of a girl. And he’s still always been there. She’s always needed him.
Re: the five stages of | lost | boone/shannon | 4/4fluffyfrolickerJune 20 2012, 02:22:21 UTC
OK WOW.
(I will return with coherent thoughts some time tomorrow when I'm actually coherent, it's almost half past 4 in the morning here, and ohmygod, it's almost half past 4 in the morning here.)
Re: the five stages of | lost | boone/shannon | 4/4youcallitwinterJune 20 2012, 07:41:50 UTC
Hahaha, I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU FOUND THIS FIC THOUGH :D But also, lol, good sleep (I've taken to sleeping at like 5 every day and WORST DECISION EVER, don't do that!)
ALSO, THAT GIF IS LIKE MY FAVORITE SHANNON/BOONE SCENE? IDK, I love it so much. Because it says so much about them that he takes the trouble to fix her SUNGLASSES, for no other reason than that she wants a pair? guh, these two <3
Re: the five stages of | lost | boone/shannon | 4/4millepertuisJune 20 2012, 17:05:26 UTC
THIS. It's perfect, everything's my favourite. You just capture them so flawlessly, especially Shannon and her insecurities. We didn't get enough of their relationship on the show, so it's really nice to explore her own neediness toward Boone, with this in particular, that I absolutely loved:
And she wants him so badly. Has always wanted him so badly. Wants him even when he strings together sentences like he invented the dictionary. And she hopes to god he never knew that. That she at least had that, even though she lost everything else.
“You can’t leave,” she says, “not until I say so.”
Just so you know, I think this line kind of broke me.
He laughs and it’s so unexpected, she turns to look at him, “knew you loved me.” “Shut up,” she says, god-yes-always-how could you possibly-please- she doesn’t say.
.denial.
“Seriously,” she says, “this is ridiculous, okay. Move on.”
He stretches his legs, the sand settling down over hers, “I don’t know, I kind of like it here, Shan. You don’t own the world, you know.”
“No,” she puts her foot down literally, and she did own his world, okay, she owned him, he was hers, “everyone already thinks I’m crazy. Jack’s still looking over here with that Serious Doctor Look because I’m apparently sitting here and talking to myself.”
He grins; it’s that quick half-smile that sometimes made her heart race when she was twelve and he was the only guy around who looked at her just so, before she knew they had dictionary words and medical conditions for relationships like that, “but you’re not talking to yourself. You’re talking to me. Granted, with the amount of talking you do, it’s always rather one sided, so technically, I suppose you could be said to be talking to yourself, but-”
“You’re dead,” she informs him, because maybe he’s forgotten, which would be so like him because he was always a bit like that, ( ... )
Reply
.anger.
“Fuck you,” she says, and wishes she could throw something at him that wouldn’t just pass through.
Because she doesn’t deserve to be the only one hurting. Shannon knows she’s not a very good person in the whole karmic scale of things, but this is not fair.
“You already did, remember?” he strings his fingers through her hair like he used to when she was nine and if she closes her eyes hard enough, she can feel the pull.
“Funny,” she says, “so fucking hilarious. Please applaud the dead guy everyone.”
“Still a grade A bitch, I see. Not like anything huge happened to change it.” she can’t stand the affection in his tone. He’s not even supposed to be here, especially not making stupid jokes that went out of fashion circa 300 B.C.
“Fuck you,” she says again, lamely.
He grins and it’s so familiar it makes something inside her chest clench painfully, “That’s twice in two minutes. I’m starting to think it’s not so much a standardized expression as much as an exposition of a desire.”
And she wants him so badly. Has always wanted him so badly. ( ... )
Reply
.depression.
“Nor dread nor hope attend,” she quotes, looking up at the stars, because she’s apparently the sort of girl who does this now. Anyway, it’s the only line she remembers from her AP English class. She doesn’t know who wrote it, but it was titled Death. She remembers that.
“Careful there, Shan,” he’s lying beside her and it’s dark and she remembers the night he made love to her because that night was dark too, “people might start thinking you’re deep. You don’t want that to happen. God forbid, you might actually start helping out instead of tanning on the beach all day. And then the rescue boat will come and you’ll be just half-baked.”
“Shut up,” she slurs, “you’re not here.”
“No,” he says easily, “not really.”
“You left me,” she says, because she doesn’t think she’s said it yet and it seems to be an important thing she forgot to say.
“You’re drunk,” he states instead, “couldn’t ever handle it.”
“Please,” she scoffs, “I just pretended I couldn’t because it was hilarious seeing you getting all hot and bothered about whether to take ( ... )
Reply
.acceptance.
“Wait a moment,” she says to Sayid. Sayid, who always waits for her, whenever she asks, no matter how many times she asks.
She pulls Boone behind the trees like it matters, because it should matter, “seriously, are you spying on me now?”
He holds both his hands up in a gesture of surrender, “I was just leaving.”
“Good,” she snaps, “because-”
Leaving.
He’s looking at her inscrutably, and no, he doesn’t get to do this. Not again. Not over and over.
“You can’t leave,” she says, “not until I say so.”
He looks over at Sayid and she thinks something like you don’t need me now, or maybe he thinks it and she just knows because it’s them and she always knows. Or maybe it’s because he’s her hallucination and they share the same brain or whatever. But he’s still hers, either way.
And she wants to tell him he’s wrong. It isn’t about the guy-in-her-life and not needing him. Because there’s always been a guy in her life. She’s always been that sort of a girl. And he’s still always been there. She’s always needed him.
He laughs and it’s so ( ... )
Reply
(I will return with coherent thoughts some time tomorrow when I'm actually coherent, it's almost half past 4 in the morning here, and ohmygod, it's almost half past 4 in the morning here.)
( ... )
Reply
ALSO, THAT GIF IS LIKE MY FAVORITE SHANNON/BOONE SCENE? IDK, I love it so much. Because it says so much about them that he takes the trouble to fix her SUNGLASSES, for no other reason than that she wants a pair? guh, these two <3
Reply
To be short and to the point, BOONE/SHANNON are amazing and THIS IS AMAZING.
Sad, but funny and thoughtful and SOOOO Boone and Shannon and the ending breaks my Shannon loving heart.
OOH, random Buffy episode on TV :D MUST WATCH :D
Reply
And she wants him so badly. Has always wanted him so badly. Wants him even when he strings together sentences like he invented the dictionary. And she hopes to god he never knew that. That she at least had that, even though she lost everything else.
“You can’t leave,” she says, “not until I say so.”
Just so you know, I think this line kind of broke me.
He laughs and it’s so unexpected, she turns to look at him, “knew you loved me.”
“Shut up,” she says, god-yes-always-how could you possibly-please- she doesn’t say.
YES. JUST YES.
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