It’s a tell: her acquiescence; her giving up on learning all the facets and facts that make up her glass-edged world. She never asks him anything anymore; she finds she never really wants to know the answers.
“We’re going to have to move again…tonight.” He pauses and Elena listens to all the ghosts that are living in his void. We’ve been caught. They’ll find us. They know. I’m sorry. Please stay.
She nods, and then feels the weight of his fingers press on her shoulders as he wraps a lock of her hair around a knuckle and gently pulls.
“You should eat.” He tells her, and releases her hair. It slides back against her skin and Elena only shivers after he’s left for the bathroom and begun to pack.
She sits down at the table obediently and pulls her burger from the wax paper it’s been wrapped in. Meat, lettuce, ketchup, cheese. She prods at the soggy bun, and then sinks her teeth into its crust.
She swallows around something thick and desperate in her throat and her eyes blur. She takes another bite, chews methodically, and swallows. The burning behind her lashes makes her think of home, makes her think of him, makes her think of then.
It makes her shake.
In these little, soft moments that she finds, she second-guesses herself over and over again, but it’s never enough. All of the what-ifs never add up enough to erase the stain of damp guilt. So she labels the parts that make her whole. She dismantles them, takes them apart, and sets them aside, like sloppy cogs in an inefficient machine.
She hates that she does, but in these moments, she thinks of Stefan, and of a moment’s breath of indecision that splintered his life.
(Klaus had asked her to choose, because of course he had. And Elena? She had swallowed and felt bile in her throat, ice in her limbs. So Klaus had laughed and stepped in front of Damon, and Elena had thought No; thought, I love him, before Klaus had blurred to Stefan, and pulled out his heart.)
Elena swallows around meat that’s turned to sawdust, and hears Damon quietly collecting their belongings in that rhythm that belongs to those who have nothing left to own.
She doesn’t think of Stefan’s face anymore; it’s become fractured around seams of brightness that hurt all the dark corners of her mind.
And besides, it’s gone now: that brightness. Plucked and stamped out, like a damp candle or a sword in a stone. And this is her life now, she thinks, as Damon enters the room, their suitcases in hand. This is what she does now, she knows.
I eat the heads off flowers, and leave their bodies for ghosts.
She swallows the last of her food, crumples the bag, and stands to face Damon. His face is beautiful; it always has been. And she thinks it’s something she’s always known, but it’s never been so watercolored a fact.
“Ready?” He asks, a smile beating his mouth into a grimace.
Elena shrugs and turns the lamp off; the world falls back in on itself.
OH MY GOD, YOU FILLED A TVD PROMPT. AND MY PROMPT. OMG OMG OMG. I'm kind of incoherent right now!! I have my graduation night today for which everyone dresses up and stuff, I have to go and get made up and everything, but you've given me something to look forward to even after that :DD
I HAVEN'T ACTUALLY GRADUATED UNFORTUNATELY. We have our Graduation Dinner, hosted by the college before graduation, which is silly, esp when someone fails or something.
BUT LISTEN, WHO ARE YOU???? HOW CAN YOU???? I CANNOT DEAL WITH ALL YOU HAVE GIVEN ME. SERIOUSLY, I NEARLY HAD A HEART ATTACK WHEN I SAW MY INBOX. HOW COULD YOU???? I FEEL SO BAD BECAUSE WHAT CAN I POSSIBLY GIVE YOU IN RETURN?? AND SO MANY USERPICS. I just feel really, really bad. I DO NOT DESERVE THIS OR YOU DD: DO YOU WANT ME TO RUB YOUR FEET OR SOMETHING, BECAUSE SERIOUSLY, I WILL. OMG, I WISH I COULD SAY 'I can't possibly accept this, it's too much' DDDDDD:
It had been quiet and crisp and she had lain in the grass and said nothing, until Damon had found her and said nothing, and they had came back to the motel with bruises ringing around everything they couldn’t say. and He pauses and Elena listens to all the ghosts that are living in his void. We’ve been caught. They’ll find us. They know. I’m sorry. Please stay.
Y E S. Stunning. This is what they are.
(Klaus had asked her to choose, because of course he had. And Elena? She had swallowed and felt bile in her throat, ice in her limbs. So Klaus had laughed and stepped in front of Damon, and Elena had thought No; thought, I love him, before Klaus had blurred to Stefan, and pulled out his heart.)
I CANNOT. I don't? I can't. THIS IS UNTHINKABLE.
Though, as phenomenally depressing and unimaginable as this scenario is, it's so totally true to Damon and Elena. It's him and her and the dark space they inhabit when everything else is gone. This fic understands me. /emotions
AND OMG, excuse you, but what is this comment!?!?!
This is far too sweet and lovely for me to handle!!
Honestly, thank you, thank you, thank you!!! This gave me a case of the warm and fuzzies and oh-fuck-I-can't-stop-grinning-like-a-loony! Completely made my day week.
Thank you for reading and for taking the time to leave feedback.
I CANNOT. I CANNOT WITH YOU OR YOUR FIC OR YOU OR ANYTHING. Honestly, how do you do it? There are like hundreds of people out there who love D/E as if it were their first born and write horrific and horrifying fic for it which misses everything from characterization to readability, and you, you're just semi-interested and yet somehow you manage to write the perfect fic which captures all of who they are, and who they are together? WHY? HOW?
Your writing is phenomenal, there is no doubt; but your grasp on character is insane. I think the whole situation is so believable and the technique of revealing as you go along, which just keeps you reading, is amazing. And your use of language, I could just cry with the poetry of it D: Every line is just so visceral: And they had come back to the motel with bruises ringing around everything they couldn’t say. And you have this supreme gift where you can actually made the reader feel exactly what you're describing; the slight claustrophobic, enclosed quality of Elena's space is so visible through your words, and Damon's entry and the shift in the air where this is all established and new all at once. And I love how at the overt level everything is fine and they're actually discussing mundane things, and the real story exists at the subtextual level, and in their heads. I CANNOT.
(Klaus had asked her to choose, because of course he had. And Elena? She had swallowed and felt bile in her throat, ice in her limbs. So Klaus had laughed and stepped in front of Damon, and Elena had thought 'No'; thought, 'I love him', before Klaus had blurred to Stefan, and pulled out his heart.)
ALL MY CREYS. ALL MY CREYS. HOW DID YOU THINK OF THIS. HOW DID YOU MAKE IT SO GODAWFULLY WONDERFUL? That moment of indecision and that realization when she thought Damon was going to die, and then Stefan died, the man she had loved without hesitation and indecision and I CAN'T EVEN BE COHERENT ANYMORE. THIS PART MAY HAVE ACTUALLY KILLED ME D:
I'm sorry, I am so badly not dealing with this fic because you have written the best thing and I just CANNOT.
Listen, this may have caused me to attempt a cartwheel (ok so maybe I had been thinking about trying one all day, but THIS WAS THE DEAL-SEALER.)!!!!!
Because I don't even understand how you can be so amazing.
Firstly, DO YOU REALIZE WHO YOU ARE? You with your perfect fic and characterization that is so realistic it's actually quite...unreal!?!?!?!? Because flawless, talented people like you are what makes people like me even want to write. Because you are amazing.
Secondly, you put so much genuine thought and care into your responses, and that's like, the actual best and sweetest thing anyone could ever do, and then, even in doing so, you go and blow all of that out of the water because you just...UGH. YOU LIGHT UP MY LIFE. <3333333
This honestly made my face hurt from grinning so hard, and GOD CAN I TELL YOU REPETITIVELY HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU AND HOW MUCH YOUR WORDS MEAN TO ME?
I HOPE THE CARTWHEEL WENT WELL. Although I assume you found out you're flawless in them, as you are in everything in life. I SHOULD HATE YOU, YOU KNOW.
Also, if I make you want to write, then I am obviously doing an act of Social Service and need to add it to my credit list and CV asap. WHO ARE YOU EVEN? Your grasp on language is far superior to mine; I have a tendency for repetition, but you can take the done-to-death scenarios and make them entirely new and entirely yours. DD:
YOU DO REALIZE THAT I ONLY PUT CARE INTO MY RESPONSES ONLY BECAUSE YOUR FIC COMMANDS NOTHING LESS, RIGHT? (Although it does have it downsides because I so want to say exactly how it made me feel and can't find the words and sometimes end up not saying anything at all. WORKING ON THAT, I SWEAR).
Also, shuuuup, I have obsessively been putting up tons of icons and then staring at the shiny at regular intervals (seriously though, I return to stare at my userpics at an average of every half hour) and I cannot ever thank you enough!!!
I have looked up to you and your talent forever, my love. Literally, every fic I have ever read of yours is just outstanding, and BEYOND...and idk what this tomfoolery about ~repetitiveness is, but every fic of yours feels fresh and different and FUCKING PERFECT. You literally don't understand. When I read something of yours, I have many moments of staring and going "OH MY GOD," or "FUCK," or "THIS ISN'T EVEN REAL."
It's just...you're insanely talented, that I can't even.
It’s a tell: her acquiescence; her giving up on learning all the facets and facts that make up her glass-edged world. She never asks him anything anymore; she finds she never really wants to know the answers.
“We’re going to have to move again…tonight.” He pauses and Elena listens to all the ghosts that are living in his void. We’ve been caught. They’ll find us. They know. I’m sorry. Please stay.
She nods, and then feels the weight of his fingers press on her shoulders as he wraps a lock of her hair around a knuckle and gently pulls.
“You should eat.” He tells her, and releases her hair. It slides back against her skin and Elena only shivers after he’s left for the bathroom and begun to pack.
She sits down at the table obediently and pulls her burger from the wax paper it’s been wrapped in. Meat, lettuce, ketchup, cheese. She prods at the soggy bun, and then sinks her teeth into its crust.
She swallows around something thick and desperate in her throat and her eyes blur. She takes another bite, chews methodically, and swallows. The burning behind her lashes makes her think of home, makes her think of him, makes her think of then.
It makes her shake.
In these little, soft moments that she finds, she second-guesses herself over and over again, but it’s never enough. All of the what-ifs never add up enough to erase the stain of damp guilt. So she labels the parts that make her whole. She dismantles them, takes them apart, and sets them aside, like sloppy cogs in an inefficient machine.
She hates that she does, but in these moments, she thinks of Stefan, and of a moment’s breath of indecision that splintered his life.
(Klaus had asked her to choose, because of course he had. And Elena? She had swallowed and felt bile in her throat, ice in her limbs. So Klaus had laughed and stepped in front of Damon, and Elena had thought No; thought, I love him, before Klaus had blurred to Stefan, and pulled out his heart.)
Elena swallows around meat that’s turned to sawdust, and hears Damon quietly collecting their belongings in that rhythm that belongs to those who have nothing left to own.
She doesn’t think of Stefan’s face anymore; it’s become fractured around seams of brightness that hurt all the dark corners of her mind.
And besides, it’s gone now: that brightness. Plucked and stamped out, like a damp candle or a sword in a stone. And this is her life now, she thinks, as Damon enters the room, their suitcases in hand. This is what she does now, she knows.
I eat the heads off flowers, and leave their bodies for ghosts.
She swallows the last of her food, crumples the bag, and stands to face Damon. His face is beautiful; it always has been. And she thinks it’s something she’s always known, but it’s never been so watercolored a fact.
“Ready?” He asks, a smile beating his mouth into a grimace.
Elena shrugs and turns the lamp off; the world falls back in on itself.
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Reply
BUT ENOUGH ABOUT THAT!!!
OMG, you are GRADUATING!!!!!
ALL THE PARTIES!
CONGRATULATIONS BABE!!!!!! Enjoy it and be proud of yourself, you smart, accomplished lady!
EEEE!!!
CONGRATS!
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BUT LISTEN, WHO ARE YOU???? HOW CAN YOU???? I CANNOT DEAL WITH ALL YOU HAVE GIVEN ME. SERIOUSLY, I NEARLY HAD A HEART ATTACK WHEN I SAW MY INBOX. HOW COULD YOU???? I FEEL SO BAD BECAUSE WHAT CAN I POSSIBLY GIVE YOU IN RETURN?? AND SO MANY USERPICS. I just feel really, really bad. I DO NOT DESERVE THIS OR YOU DD: DO YOU WANT ME TO RUB YOUR FEET OR SOMETHING, BECAUSE SERIOUSLY, I WILL. OMG, I WISH I COULD SAY 'I can't possibly accept this, it's too much' DDDDDD:
Reply
It had been quiet and crisp and she had lain in the grass and said nothing, until Damon had found her and said nothing, and they had came back to the motel with bruises ringing around everything they couldn’t say. and He pauses and Elena listens to all the ghosts that are living in his void. We’ve been caught. They’ll find us. They know. I’m sorry. Please stay.
Y E S. Stunning. This is what they are.
(Klaus had asked her to choose, because of course he had. And Elena? She had swallowed and felt bile in her throat, ice in her limbs. So Klaus had laughed and stepped in front of Damon, and Elena had thought No; thought, I love him, before Klaus had blurred to Stefan, and pulled out his heart.)
I CANNOT. I don't? I can't. THIS IS UNTHINKABLE.
Though, as phenomenally depressing and unimaginable as this scenario is, it's so totally true to Damon and Elena. It's him and her and the dark space they inhabit when everything else is gone. This fic understands me.
/emotions
Reply
AND OMG, excuse you, but what is this comment!?!?!
This is far too sweet and lovely for me to handle!!
Honestly, thank you, thank you, thank you!!! This gave me a case of the warm and fuzzies and oh-fuck-I-can't-stop-grinning-like-a-loony! Completely made my day week.
Thank you for reading and for taking the time to leave feedback.
You are a star! <3
Reply
Your writing is phenomenal, there is no doubt; but your grasp on character is insane. I think the whole situation is so believable and the technique of revealing as you go along, which just keeps you reading, is amazing. And your use of language, I could just cry with the poetry of it D: Every line is just so visceral: And they had come back to the motel with bruises ringing around everything they couldn’t say. And you have this supreme gift where you can actually made the reader feel exactly what you're describing; the slight claustrophobic, enclosed quality of Elena's space is so visible through your words, and Damon's entry and the shift in the air where this is all established and new all at once. And I love how at the overt level everything is fine and they're actually discussing mundane things, and the real story exists at the subtextual level, and in their heads. I CANNOT.
(Klaus had asked her to choose, because of course he had. And Elena? She had swallowed and felt bile in her throat, ice in her limbs. So Klaus had laughed and stepped in front of Damon, and Elena had thought 'No'; thought, 'I love him', before Klaus had blurred to Stefan, and pulled out his heart.)
ALL MY CREYS. ALL MY CREYS. HOW DID YOU THINK OF THIS. HOW DID YOU MAKE IT SO GODAWFULLY WONDERFUL? That moment of indecision and that realization when she thought Damon was going to die, and then Stefan died, the man she had loved without hesitation and indecision and I CAN'T EVEN BE COHERENT ANYMORE. THIS PART MAY HAVE ACTUALLY KILLED ME D:
I'm sorry, I am so badly not dealing with this fic because you have written the best thing and I just CANNOT.
Reply
Listen, this may have caused me to attempt a cartwheel (ok so maybe I had been thinking about trying one all day, but THIS WAS THE DEAL-SEALER.)!!!!!
Because I don't even understand how you can be so amazing.
Firstly, DO YOU REALIZE WHO YOU ARE? You with your perfect fic and characterization that is so realistic it's actually quite...unreal!?!?!?!? Because flawless, talented people like you are what makes people like me even want to write. Because you are amazing.
Secondly, you put so much genuine thought and care into your responses, and that's like, the actual best and sweetest thing anyone could ever do, and then, even in doing so, you go and blow all of that out of the water because you just...UGH. YOU LIGHT UP MY LIFE. <3333333
This honestly made my face hurt from grinning so hard, and GOD CAN I TELL YOU REPETITIVELY HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU AND HOW MUCH YOUR WORDS MEAN TO ME?
My life is better with you in it, bb.
Thank you so much for your sweet words.
You blow my mind.
I don't get how you're even real....
JUST!!!!!
Reply
Also, if I make you want to write, then I am obviously doing an act of Social Service and need to add it to my credit list and CV asap. WHO ARE YOU EVEN? Your grasp on language is far superior to mine; I have a tendency for repetition, but you can take the done-to-death scenarios and make them entirely new and entirely yours. DD:
YOU DO REALIZE THAT I ONLY PUT CARE INTO MY RESPONSES ONLY BECAUSE YOUR FIC COMMANDS NOTHING LESS, RIGHT? (Although it does have it downsides because I so want to say exactly how it made me feel and can't find the words and sometimes end up not saying anything at all. WORKING ON THAT, I SWEAR).
Also, shuuuup, I have obsessively been putting up tons of icons and then staring at the shiny at regular intervals (seriously though, I return to stare at my userpics at an average of every half hour) and I cannot ever thank you enough!!!
*HUGS*
Reply
I LITERALLY AM TOO OVERWHELMED TO PROPERLY REPLY.
But let me try:
I have looked up to you and your talent forever, my love. Literally, every fic I have ever read of yours is just outstanding, and BEYOND...and idk what this tomfoolery about ~repetitiveness is, but every fic of yours feels fresh and different and FUCKING PERFECT. You literally don't understand. When I read something of yours, I have many moments of staring and going "OH MY GOD," or "FUCK," or "THIS ISN'T EVEN REAL."
It's just...you're insanely talented, that I can't even.
AND JUST.
WRITE FOREVER PLEASE.
AND ALSO:
I EFFING LOVVVVVVE YOUUUUUUU.
<3333333(forever).
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