Where The Heart Is, in C MinoryoucallitwinterNovember 21 2011, 11:36:13 UTC
I don't even D: goddammit.
x
The light snaps on, just as she finally manages to sling the rucksack over her back.
Oh, man.
“Where are you going,” Damon asks calmly. calm/ kä(l)m / n / The absence of violent or confrontational activity within a place or group. Okay, so maybe that isn’t the right word exactly.
“Out?” she tries.
“This is an intervention,” Stefan shrugs, raising his bare arm in a gesture of indifference. Or it could be the severed arm of the dead guy on the floor. She has excellent eyesight, but in the dark it’s still kind of hard to tell.
Caroline looks at them suspiciously, “then why aren’t you wearing any clothes.”
“This is a special sort of intervention.” Katherine adds.
“Oh my god, this is an orgy, isn’t it? You guys were just doing it. Oh my god.”
“You don’t get to join in.” Damon says firmly, “that is your punishment for your unacceptable behavior at dinner today.”
Okay, she so totally does not want to join in. Ew, “I so totally do not want to join in. Ew. Like I would ever let you touch me.”
“That’s not what you said last night while we were talking.” She hopes his stupid face freezes in that smirk.
“That’s a euphemism.” Stefan says, turning to Katherine.
"Baby girl still needs to taught that little girls should be seen, not heard.” she sighs.
“I hear a lot more of you that I would like,” Caroline says indignantly.
“She gets her temper from me,” Katherine smiles at her fondly. It is faintly reminiscent of Audrey Hepburn in that movie about the jewelry store. Although it is much more reminiscent of Anthony Hopkins in that one movie where he eats people, "like mother, like daughter."
“Your deflection is as childish as it is obvious, Caroline,” Damon crosses his arms, “Now tell us where you thought you were going?”
“You already know,” she says sulkily putting the rucksack down, “you don’t have to pretend with me.”
“That’s my line,” Stefan observes, “I’m not sure you should be using it without appropriate disclaimers.”
“You’re supposed to be on my side!”
“I am on your side,” Stefan says soothingly, “I just don’t condone plagiarism on ethical grounds.” He waves the hand to emphasize his point.
“You all suck,” she pouts, slinking down on the couch, “and that isn’t a pun.”
“Or a euphemism,” she adds hastily as Stefan opens his mouth.
“Okay, this,” says Damon menacingly, “is exactly what I’m talking about. You’re getting out of hand, young lady. If this phase of yours is just a need for guidance about the facts of life, specifically the ones that involve touching, then I’m sure Katherine would be more than willing to help. And we can watch via the video camera installed in your room to make sure she doesn’t kill you. But if this phase is anything other than a need for guidance about the facts of life, specifically the ones that involve touching, then you’re grounded.”
“Whatever,” she says, crossing her arms in his pose, “whatever. See if I care. I’ll just wait till your next orgy and slip away when you’re in the middle of…things. And you can’t stop me. So there.”
“See,” Katherine narrows her eyes at Damon, “this is what you’re teaching your daughter. The pretend apathy and talking back to people who know better is signature you.”
“My daughter,” he says in outrage, “She’s my daughter now? It takes two, Katherine. You’re the one who smothered her with a fucking pillow. And where do you think she gets the habit of constantly running away from anyway?”
“You’re making them fight,” Stefan shakes his head, spitting the ring out, as the hand disappears between his teeth.
“They’re not going to break up, are they?” she asks, eyes wide.
He shrugs, “that. Or have wild sex on the floor. You can’t be sure with these two.”
“Okay,” she runs to them, placing her hand placatingly on both their bare chests, “I swear I’ll try to do better. I swear. Just, don’t fight, okay. Please. I love you. Sometimes. Okay, rarely, but it counts.”
Katherine’s smirk is exceptionally dirty, while Damon seems to think her hand is a full-time license for other things. But as Stefan smiles at her through a mouthful of teeth and flesh, she find out that maybe she doesn’t mind quite so much this time.
Re: Where The Heart Is, in C MinorcassiehayesNovember 21 2011, 16:22:05 UTC
Oh my god.
Caroline trying to run away and Damon and Katherine pulling the parents act on her and Stefan snarking about You're making them fight and Damon outraged it's HIS daughter now, "You're the one who smothered her with a fucking pillow" is absolutely priceless. You're killing meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. Asljdsljdslds.
Re: Where The Heart Is, in C MinoryoucallitwinterNovember 21 2011, 17:14:03 UTC
I don't even with this anymore. /shakes head YOU SHOULD WRITE FOR THE C MINOR!VERSE IF INSPIRATION STRIKES BTW. I'd love to read! And I'm guessing this is exactly your crack!ship too, hee :D
Re: Where The Heart Is, in C MinorcassiehayesNovember 22 2011, 01:18:59 UTC
Oh gosh this is SO my crackship beyond belief, hee, but I have legit never written crack before :O WE SHALL HAVE TO SEE HOW CRAZY ALL THIS STUDYING MAKES ME
Re: Where The Heart Is, in C MinoryoucallitwinterNovember 22 2011, 21:54:53 UTC
I'M JUST KIDDING, HONEST. I always feel like "but how does anyone know when I'm kidding around and when I'm srs bzns". Come back whenever you can (pretty sure that's a song, heh)
Re: Where The Heart Is, in C MinorcassiehayesNovember 22 2011, 22:05:12 UTC
LOL, NO NO IT'S TOTALLY OK, dun worry, though I tooootally get the srs bzns/kidding conundrum, oh internet. And heh, that does sound familiar although now all I'm thinking is "I'll come back when you caaaaalll meeeeeee"
Re: Where The Heart Is, in C MinoryoucallitwinterNovember 22 2011, 08:07:50 UTC
OUR life choices definitely. THIS THREAD IS RIDICULOUS NOW I KNOW. But it involves daddy!Damon and grandmother!Katherine and chewy!Stefan (I love how he basically just sits around eating people in these) and bb girl!Caroline AND WHY ISN'T THIS A SPIN OFF ALREADY?
Re: Where The Heart Is, in C MinoryoucallitwinterNovember 22 2011, 08:10:55 UTC
Also; about the killing thing; vampires become 'parents' by basically killing the person, as opposed to, y'know GIVING LIFE. So dyfunctionality is ingrained, and we cannot be blamed too much for exploiting it *nods* /things I say to make myself feel better.
Re: Where The Heart Is, in C MinoryoucallitwinterNovember 22 2011, 08:40:48 UTC
Are you deliberately doing this to me? Now, how can I NOT be writing thinking about all of these scenarios. OMG DAMON AND KATHERINE AND THE MARRIAGE COUNSELLOR NEEDS TO HAPPEN ASAP. And Stefan would kind of eat everyone on his paper route and then put the bodies back together and give the paper in for recycling, you know it.
x
The light snaps on, just as she finally manages to sling the rucksack over her back.
Oh, man.
“Where are you going,” Damon asks calmly. calm/ kä(l)m / n / The absence of violent or confrontational activity within a place or group. Okay, so maybe that isn’t the right word exactly.
“Out?” she tries.
“This is an intervention,” Stefan shrugs, raising his bare arm in a gesture of indifference. Or it could be the severed arm of the dead guy on the floor. She has excellent eyesight, but in the dark it’s still kind of hard to tell.
Caroline looks at them suspiciously, “then why aren’t you wearing any clothes.”
“This is a special sort of intervention.” Katherine adds.
“Oh my god, this is an orgy, isn’t it? You guys were just doing it. Oh my god.”
“You don’t get to join in.” Damon says firmly, “that is your punishment for your unacceptable behavior at dinner today.”
Okay, she so totally does not want to join in. Ew, “I so totally do not want to join in. Ew. Like I would ever let you touch me.”
“That’s not what you said last night while we were talking.” She hopes his stupid face freezes in that smirk.
“That’s a euphemism.” Stefan says, turning to Katherine.
"Baby girl still needs to taught that little girls should be seen, not heard.” she sighs.
“I hear a lot more of you that I would like,” Caroline says indignantly.
“She gets her temper from me,” Katherine smiles at her fondly. It is faintly reminiscent of Audrey Hepburn in that movie about the jewelry store. Although it is much more reminiscent of Anthony Hopkins in that one movie where he eats people, "like mother, like daughter."
“Your deflection is as childish as it is obvious, Caroline,” Damon crosses his arms, “Now tell us where you thought you were going?”
“You already know,” she says sulkily putting the rucksack down, “you don’t have to pretend with me.”
“That’s my line,” Stefan observes, “I’m not sure you should be using it without appropriate disclaimers.”
“You’re supposed to be on my side!”
“I am on your side,” Stefan says soothingly, “I just don’t condone plagiarism on ethical grounds.” He waves the hand to emphasize his point.
“You all suck,” she pouts, slinking down on the couch, “and that isn’t a pun.”
“Or a euphemism,” she adds hastily as Stefan opens his mouth.
“Okay, this,” says Damon menacingly, “is exactly what I’m talking about. You’re getting out of hand, young lady. If this phase of yours is just a need for guidance about the facts of life, specifically the ones that involve touching, then I’m sure Katherine would be more than willing to help. And we can watch via the video camera installed in your room to make sure she doesn’t kill you. But if this phase is anything other than a need for guidance about the facts of life, specifically the ones that involve touching, then you’re grounded.”
“Whatever,” she says, crossing her arms in his pose, “whatever. See if I care. I’ll just wait till your next orgy and slip away when you’re in the middle of…things. And you can’t stop me. So there.”
“See,” Katherine narrows her eyes at Damon, “this is what you’re teaching your daughter. The pretend apathy and talking back to people who know better is signature you.”
“My daughter,” he says in outrage, “She’s my daughter now? It takes two, Katherine. You’re the one who smothered her with a fucking pillow. And where do you think she gets the habit of constantly running away from anyway?”
“You’re making them fight,” Stefan shakes his head, spitting the ring out, as the hand disappears between his teeth.
“They’re not going to break up, are they?” she asks, eyes wide.
He shrugs, “that. Or have wild sex on the floor. You can’t be sure with these two.”
“Okay,” she runs to them, placing her hand placatingly on both their bare chests, “I swear I’ll try to do better. I swear. Just, don’t fight, okay. Please. I love you. Sometimes. Okay, rarely, but it counts.”
Katherine’s smirk is exceptionally dirty, while Damon seems to think her hand is a full-time license for other things. But as Stefan smiles at her through a mouthful of teeth and flesh, she find out that maybe she doesn’t mind quite so much this time.
Family is family, after all.
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Caroline trying to run away and Damon and Katherine pulling the parents act on her and Stefan snarking about You're making them fight and Damon outraged it's HIS daughter now, "You're the one who smothered her with a fucking pillow" is absolutely priceless. You're killing meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. Asljdsljdslds.
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NO PRESSURE, OF COURSE.
/hypnosis
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*staaaares at swirly circles and suddenly has urge to write to crackfic*
;D LOL, but no seeeeriously, think I'll tryyyy and give this a shot when I take a break from getting some stuff done, heh
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