"...or is it because you love her too?"
I was just rewinding a couple of scenes from TVD (it sucks I haven't had time for a proper rewatch, although my cousin's visiting, and she loves it to pieces as well, so we're staying up nights discussing the hell out of everything) and I think I've just sort of changed my perspective on Damon and Stefan's bond entirely. Earlier, I wasn't much focused on it, but now it seems to remind me of everything that I love about TVD; the fact that they seems so self-aware of the show as a show. and they work on reversing common 'teen fandom' tropes and cliches. The bad guy turns good through the 'love of a woman' but has psychotic moments where he shoves his wrist into her mouth and resolves his existential crises by killing good Samaritans by the roadside. The good guy sacrifices himself for family but when the 'sacrifice' entails killing innocents in cold blood and literally feeding on them, then really, which dictionary are we using to define the terms anyway?
Family’ is probably the most obvious running trope throughout the Vampire Diaries, and I think it’s most explicitly expounded through Damon and Stefan’s relationship, simply because they’re so oblivious to the working of the family ties. It’s not as obvious as “I’ll die to save you” or whatever the other characters are all up to (except Caroline, who shares such a realistic dynamic with her mother that it's a delight to watch. And also because she's Caroline; she can’t help being awesome in every department). Although the outward snarky, more-than-slightly bitter conversations between Stefan and Damon remain the same, there is such a distinct change in actions that there are times when I wonder whether their whole history had been panned out before the initial episodes; the rather cryptic insinuations about Damon's past by Stefan seems rather odd in the light of the revelations about his past (or his "I've always been the good brother"). Or maybe it was for shock value, to raise him that much higher, so he could fall that much harder (I'm pretty sure Julie Plec said something like that in a recent interview).
In the earlier episodes, the family 'ties' seem to gag more than they binded. Their relationship, as influenced by Katherine's presence, continued in the same rut over the next century. This is made explicit by the fact that it doesn't seem as if Katherine compelled their feelings for her-- she's said as much to both, and that neither denied it seems to be something close to a confirmation since they would remember the compulsion after transition, so. Damon is projected as being antagonistic towards Stefan not because he forced him to drink blood to complete his transition or even what he considers Stefan's betrayal of Katherine, but rather because he couldn't stand the thought that Katherine could have cared enough for Stefan to want to turn him as well; he wanted to be enough for Katherine (ironic really, from later developments; he was obviously the collateral). And Stefan too “didn’t care” that he was 'stealing' the girl that his brother was in love with, because he wanted her badly enough to overlook all else. They chose their attitudes, their paths, their feelings towards each other; wherein choice is set in contrast to being compelled. (Definitely contestable)
Damon's introduction in the Pilot also becomes slightly confusing, because it doesn't seem to quite fit in with the kind of man he used to be, even after the transition, which always makes me think that maybe the plot was developed over a period of time, and took a different direction than initially planned, and probably the writers themselves were unaware of the development of the 1864 dynamic. But, alternately, it can also be said that Damon's resentment fermented over the century to the extent that it became all-consuming, and probably accounts for the marked difference between the Damon of 1864 and the present-time Damon. Also, he totally did not have a Lexi. D:
However, their initial relationship, depicted in those far-too-few moments when Katherine had newly arrived at the Estate, has a definite impact on their relationship in the real-time action of the show. For instance, I find it very fascinating that Stefan seems so insecure about Elena's love, although we all know that throughout the second season Elena has repeated endless versions of 'it will always only be Stefan' an uncountable number of times. Stefan’s insecurities are all the more intriguing at the level of the plot because it does seem as if all the women seem to prefer him, and yet he's never certain of his own standing. I genuinely think this attitude stems from his childhood relationship with Damon. The difference in their ages, Damon's stint as a Confederate soldier, not to mention his inherent magnetism probably made Stefan stay a little in awe of his older brother. In the same vein, it's not difficult to see why the jaded, cynical Katherine chose Stefan over Damon; his helpless devotion probably appealed to her more than Damon's slightly practiced air of seduction. Stefan reminded her of who she used to be (although paradoxically she exploits that very aspect of him, his innocence, Katherine finds it very hard not to break things). Stefan's awe might have translated into something else entirely over the course of time, but his reactions remain the same; he feels about Damon what analogously Caroline feels about Elena (which is amusing in so far as that Stefan is always the 'first choice', while the lack of that in Caroline's situation is exactly where her contention with her best friend lies); that somehow, for some reason, he's better. That there's something about him which will make it possible for Elena to fall in love with him, regardless of all the things he's done around/to her. And Stefan can really never rid himself of this notion. He seems to know that Elena’s attracted to Damon (which, let's face it, she is, although I really don't believe she's in love with him yet) and it's constantly reiterated through the episodes. Even Elena knows about it, which was the explicit reason for that very exhibitionist kiss in front of Damon in Bad Moon Rising.
Even as rabidly largely a Damon/Elena shipper, I can see why Elena would choose Stefan over Damon, at least at that stage in her life. Although we can't be sure, it's possible that before the death of her parents Damon (without all the killer tendencies, obv) would have been her 'type', but with their death and change all around, she 'chooses' off-blood Stefan because he represents the kind of constancy that the passionate, volatile Damon does not. That is of course subject to change, and I do like that Damon hasn't transformed completely, and she still can't help being slightly attracted to him; adds an element of realism. Logically she shouldn't have any sort of feelings for the guy who snapped her brother's neck, practically, however...
In my opinion, the most interesting part of the whole Stefan/Elena/Damon dynamic is that conversation between Caroline and Stefan, wherein Elena'd gone to meet Katherine and Stefan asks "she's with Damon, isn't she." Because that wasn't a question at all. He states it. And more importantly, he states it not with any sort of violent/anguished reaction but with something close to resignation. In the 'it was always going to happen sooner or later. Except it happened sooner than later' sort of way. And why I found it interesting was because it didn't seem to me, at least at that moment, that he was going to 'fight' for Elena with his brother. It seemed if Elena ever "chose" Damon of her own accord, Stefan would actually just step aside and let them be. Which is why I also think that if Damon and Elena actually hook up in the next season (which I’m not sure about at all), then Stefan would not actually consider it a betrayal, in fact, he’d probably want it because he would no longer trust himself to not hurt Elena; his major objection to Damon with Elena.
From the Damon/Stefan showdowns, I'm beginning to think that the only reason Stefan would aggressively be against a D/E hook-up is because he thinks Damon has completely unpredictable reactions and is capable of hurting Elena, unintentionally or otherwise. Which is exactly the same reason Damon thinks Stefan “deserves” Elena and he doesn't (although there’s a whole other debate here about what “deserving” Elena is). In fact, throughout, Damon loves winding up Stefan about the mutual attraction between him and Elena but he’s never actively done anything to “steal” her or try to act on his feelings. His wisecracks about himself as a potential threat remain confined to Stefan, or assume almost a playful tone in his interactions with Elena ("Better. Me"). The first time, out in the field, where he tried to kiss her without knowing about the vervain necklace, probably counts as an attempt to alter the Stefan/Elena dynamic by introducing himself as a potential love-interest, but I think that was entirely about pissing Stefan off. It had nothing to do with what he felt/didn't feel about Elena; he did it, because his brother stole his girl and he was damn well going to steal his. Also, I don't think Damon ever thought Stefan was in love with Elena; he seemed to consider it some sort of odd doppelganger kink. The failed attempt at seduction/compulsion was a direct move to aggravate Stefan and live up to the promise of 'eternal misery' rather than because Damon actually had a vested interest in the act itself. The one time he did do something to potentially sway Elena's reaction towards him (the Rose confession), he immediately compelled her to forget it. The only time he actually revealed his feelings (verbally, that is, otherwise everyone and their dog knew anyway, Damon’s very open that way, as much as he’d prefer not to be, heh) was when he thought he was dying and it couldn’t affect anything anymore.
What usually comes through the Stefan/Damon interactions is their absolute inability to let go. And not just through the grand gestures like Damon going to Pearl’s house to save Stefan or Stefan ‘sacrificing’ himself in the finale, but all the little moments, where they stand up for each other, unconsciously almost.
In Miss Mystic Falls it was Damon who defended Stefan during his first bloodlust phase. He rationalized the actions for Elena, constructing Stefan as a victim-someone who had been resisting his nature since so long that he was bound to feel the effects as that much stronger. And it's important to remember that at that moment, Elena had been disillusioned; in her mind, Stefan’s uncontrollable blood-holism had placed him categorically within the ranks of Every Vampire Ever, instead of the heroic, self-denying figure that he usually presented. Damon could’ve played on it if he’d wanted, made it seem like Stefan was a hypocrite for his usual stance of outraged morality at the nature of Vampiric existence. He didn’t.
Similarly, Stefan constantly feels like Damon is a threat to his relationship, but the times he had the opportunity to influence Elena against him, he supported him instead. After Damon snapped Jeremy’s neck, it was Stefan who first suggested that the only reason he’d done it was because he’d seen the ring and knew what it was for- a justification that was proved wrong, but was a justification nonetheless. Correspondingly, although they had a major altercation after the scene in which Damon forces Elena to drink his blood, again, it was Stefan who later told her that Damon was in love with her and couldn’t bear the thought of having to live without her-a claim that, if accepted by Elena, would reflect negatively on Stefan's passivity in the matter.
I really think I’m falling in love with the connection they share and the various ways they react to Elena’s relationship with the other. Which is why I genuinely think that in season three, if Damon/Elena does happen, the initiative will have to be Elena’s. Damon playing an agential role would seem rather out-of-character to me, not to mention, a little disappointing after what Stefan’s done for him. YOU KNOW WHAT, I hope this means that we’ll return to first season Damon/Elena dynamic, with a lot of snark and accidental attraction because they’ll both have to resist and it will be SO HARD. That would really be my ideal third season. :D
[Solely my own view, also I haven't seen most episodes since they aired, so stuff can be off]
ALSO, LOOK AT THE SHINY YOU GUYS. And more importantly, do not get dazzled by the shiny and forget to join us at tvdbloodstream kthx :D
