[fic] warsan shire's poetry for women who are difficult to love

[youcallitwinter]

What is this, why is this, the non-linearity is out of control etc. But written for fluffyfrolicker's it's a love story goddamnit; a ficathon for stainofmylove's prompt.[Go prompt, like, RIGHT NOW]. I apologize, why am I writing when I am blocked, further etcs. okay, now I'm done. Read this as you like; in the order it's written, the linear sequence of events or the reverse

Comments

[scorpiod1]

Christ. I actually loved so much about this, that I am not even sure what to quote, because it all just flows together like a cohesive, gorgeous whole, and it paints such a stark, painful picture of them. You have their voices down SO WELL, I can hear them clearly and like, it's hard to believe this didn't happen in the show, because it sounds just like them, it sounds perfectly like them, especially like, stuff like this:

"Oh come on, Ronnie, don't be jealous, green ain't a good shade on you. You know I love you." He always bites the word out, as if if he can manage to say it enough number of times, mockingly enough, with just the shadow of a sneer, it won't mean anything anymore, wouldn't have meant anything that first time either, in the backseat of his expensive, ugly car, with sweat and salt-skin and her shirt sticking to her back, and all the time in the world. He keeps saying it, he's been saying it too often, every time she sees him now, somehow or the other, over and over, and it's starting to sound wrong, it's starting to spell wrong in her head.

UGH THIS ENTIRE BIT IS PERFECT. LOGAN'S VOICE IS PERFECT, and Veronica's thoughts are spot on and like, what you have her say later, how he is the filter, Y E S, yes to all of this.

Also the entirety of section VI. is stunning and perfect sharp bitter Veronica voice, but I really love the sometimes she's scared she'll never love anyone like she did Lilly Kane, but Lilly is dead and how is it fair that she's going to spend her life being mostly in love with a dead girl

CLAWING AT MY FACE OVER THIS. OVER THIS WHOLE THING, REALLY.

[youcallitwinter]

Ugh, I am SO LATE with replying and I cannot thank you enough for this beautiful comment, I AM ALSO CLAWING MY FACE OVER YOUR COMMENT. I am so glad you thought the characterization was okay, because these two are just so perfect, I'm always afraid of messing them up and making their voices completely ???? which would really suck.

AND I AM GLAD IT WASN'T COMPLETELY RANDOM because I know it's not going to work for everyone, but then you say such nice things and I'm all TT over it because THESE KIDS, I just adore them so.