Ker-APP!
Character: William "Will" Smith
Series: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Character Age: 18
Canon: ...Really? Really? HERE GOES. Iiiiin West Philidelphia, born and raised, on the playground is where he spent most of his days -- chillin' out, maxin', relaxin' all cool and all, shootin' some b-ball outside of the school... When a couple of guys (who were up to no good) started making trouble in his neighborhood! He got in one little fight and his mom got scared. She said, "You're moving with your auntie and uncle in Bel Air."
And that's how street smart Will ended up living in his uncle's upper class home, charming his relatives with his stunning wit, undeniable charm, endearing goofiness, and sense of whimsy -- if by charming you mean annoying and inconveniencing for the purpose of teaching the viewers a moral and/or lesson. Will always has a quip, insult, or pop-culture reference to toss back at anyone and everyone, especially his cousin Carlton. Despite his tendency to womanize, tease, get caught up in wacky hijinks, smart mouth, and occasionally hilariously overreact, Will's a sweet, well-meaning person. Who just happens to have a massive ego and comedic bad luck.
Sample Post: 'ey! You! Yeah, you, Lurch! Don't you slouch away from me, man. I demand to speak to your supervisor. Look at this place! It don't look nothin' like the brochure y'all sent me. That thing's the whole reason I'm here. That and, you know, the fact that it was this or going to the Young Republicans Convention with Carlton, but if it helps you sleep at night, y'all can pretend that was competition. But I got the literature right here, see? Tri-fold, color-printed, laminated... That's impressive. The big ol' picture of some squid-lookin' thing, not so much, but, hey, if you and your homies dig sushi, I'm not gonna judge you. Now check this out -- read that right there. "Mandatory Naked Day And You." That is one hell of a title, and this camp is already one hell of a disappointment.
First of all, I don't see no cute honeys like in the pictures! Not a single one, and I've been walking through this stink-smellin', backwater Jersey-lookin' swamp for hours. Which leads me to point two! SWAMP. You're living in one! This is the 20th century, for God's sake. Is Mrs. Flintstone around? 'cause you should go tell her about this little thing we call "electricity." Trust me, she's gonna love it. And another thing! I ain't no scientist or nothin', but I sat through enough geology to know that building your little civilization next to a giant volcano? Is never a good idea. You ever heard of Pompeii, man? Well, apparently neither did your little friend Singe-y the Squirrel over there. That thing looks like it just lost a fight to a wild pack of flame throwers, straight up.
And, that's right, I got another thing. Animal cruelty, okay, dumb squirrel, I'll buy that, but did you ever stop to think about the environment? Don't act like you didn't see that Fox News special on litterin'. Honestly, y'all should be ashamed of yourselves! You trippin' if you think you can dump chemicals every which-a-way just 'cause you got a whole lotta land for your fancy little camp. Don't make me call Captain Planet on your asses. I'm sure those gorillas don't appreciate bein' purple, and to be honest, I don't appreciate it, neither. That just ain't natural.
Ha! How's that for a complaint? Oooooh-eee. I haven't been this mad since they canceled the Ben Stiller Show, shoot. Now, I'm gonna give you thirty seconds to either show me to the nearest four star cabin, or refund the $250 Uncle Phillip spent on that plane ticket so I can buy me some new video games. How's that sound? I'm countin'! And after your time's up, well. We'll handle it Philly style, you know what I'm sayin'? Basketball, one-on-one, you and me. And your square head's gonna be the ball, ya'hurr?
Voting went down here. HOLY WOW.