80's night last night
Taurus
You're done talking about that issue that's been making you crazy for weeks, if not months. You're so done that even when a certain someone who's ordinarily quite good at pushing your buttons starts to subtly poke at you, you won't bite. It wouldn't be fair, and it wouldn't even be fun. You know you can win, and win easily, but you can't justify the energy. It's just as well. You've got bigger fish to fry. Standing right across the room...
had an awesome time last night considering while all of my friends were getting tanked, I was studying and doing homework. I think I had all of 1 and a half beers. Oh well...it felt good to be a little responsible for once.
went and took my test today. I feel pretty confident that I did well on it. I know that I got 100% on the 44 questions of the mulitple choice, and 100% on the 20 questions of the fill in the blank...it's the 20 odd some true or false questions that I'm worried about. At least I have a 50% chance. So lets see...that's 44+20+10...74 out of 85...that's 87%, not bad considering I didn't start studying until last night at 11 o'clock, haha. thank god for photographic memory.
yuck, tomorrow is the whole cat scan thing. And I'll admit for the first time since this all started that I am petrified. I didn't think that I would be. I mean when they first said something at the hospital when I got in the car accident, I was fine. Fuck the doctors, you know they only work like 50% of the time. 50% doesn't that seem to be the magical odds here? heh. i was talking to Jacqui last night and she said a lot of 50/50 business. I don't sleep anymore. And when I do sleep, I have nightmares about this. No one ever asked me if I wanted this. Those fucking doctors at the hospital had to go and fuck shit up for me. I can tell you one thing. If I am sick and I do have to go to the hospital, you better believe that I will never again step foot in Mt. Clemens General. That is the shittiest, most impersonal hospital I've ever been to in my whole entire life. eff that. Anyway, I guess tomorrow for this cat scan, they have to put an IV in my arm with dye in that. How fucking jewish is that anyhow? You'd figure with all of the governmental funding and donations made to research that they'd be able to find a better way. Fuckers. And then the fucking doctors, who didn't want to do this in the first place (x-rays are 7 or 8 things of radiation, while a cat scan is 100) don't fucking realize that they've taken enough x-rays from me to equal two cat scans by now. Or maybe they do, and they are just trying to milk my dad for money, because this whole cat scan thing is costing my dad 500 fucking dollars. Man. I have Dr. Emerick, who I thought was this great doctor. I thought he wasn't the type of doctor to try and screw you for money, and he always listens, and I thought he really cared. Now, I truly remember why I fucking hate all doctors and all hospitals. They all fucking suck. Thanks doc, for making my life a paranoid hell. You fucks are the reason I am a hypocondriac.
Nikki, I miss you! I wish that none of the stuff with you ever happened. It's so shitty that I barely see you anymore. I just wish that CERTAIN people could see that I need you A LOT more then they do at this current point in time, but obviously Your Parents think that I am asking too much. Your Parents just don't know what it's like to be sick, and need your friends, because everything in the medical world I guess is a 50/50 chance, but 50/50 is a number I am beginning to loathe as much as the doctors. You've been through serious surgery, they werent there for you, I were. And now I have to go through something serious and if they can't understand the fact that I need you now, then fuck them. selfish. I miss you Nic :(
Thanks for talking with me last night Jac. I don't know if I would really go through with all of the things that we talked about, but I'm getting the cat scan. I probably wouldn't have unless I talked to you. It's a lot easier having someone who's been through all of this tell you what's right to do, instead of my dad who just annoys me I guess cause he has no idea what this is like. He has no idea how scared I really am and he tells me not to be, but with all of the shit theyre telling me and making me do, how can I not be?
Chels, I'm really sorry that when you come back this is what you have to deal with. I just wanted to say thank you for being here for me and being strong too. And thanks for coming with me tomorrow. I love you!
Anyhow...back to the homework and the cleaning of the room and the doing of thr chores so that way I can call Chelsea at noon thirty and we can go out and have a good time.
later.
You're done talking about that issue that's been making you crazy for weeks, if not months. You're so done that even when a certain someone who's ordinarily quite good at pushing your buttons starts to subtly poke at you, you won't bite. It wouldn't be fair, and it wouldn't even be fun. You know you can win, and win easily, but you can't justify the energy. It's just as well. You've got bigger fish to fry. Standing right across the room...
had an awesome time last night considering while all of my friends were getting tanked, I was studying and doing homework. I think I had all of 1 and a half beers. Oh well...it felt good to be a little responsible for once.
went and took my test today. I feel pretty confident that I did well on it. I know that I got 100% on the 44 questions of the mulitple choice, and 100% on the 20 questions of the fill in the blank...it's the 20 odd some true or false questions that I'm worried about. At least I have a 50% chance. So lets see...that's 44+20+10...74 out of 85...that's 87%, not bad considering I didn't start studying until last night at 11 o'clock, haha. thank god for photographic memory.
yuck, tomorrow is the whole cat scan thing. And I'll admit for the first time since this all started that I am petrified. I didn't think that I would be. I mean when they first said something at the hospital when I got in the car accident, I was fine. Fuck the doctors, you know they only work like 50% of the time. 50% doesn't that seem to be the magical odds here? heh. i was talking to Jacqui last night and she said a lot of 50/50 business. I don't sleep anymore. And when I do sleep, I have nightmares about this. No one ever asked me if I wanted this. Those fucking doctors at the hospital had to go and fuck shit up for me. I can tell you one thing. If I am sick and I do have to go to the hospital, you better believe that I will never again step foot in Mt. Clemens General. That is the shittiest, most impersonal hospital I've ever been to in my whole entire life. eff that. Anyway, I guess tomorrow for this cat scan, they have to put an IV in my arm with dye in that. How fucking jewish is that anyhow? You'd figure with all of the governmental funding and donations made to research that they'd be able to find a better way. Fuckers. And then the fucking doctors, who didn't want to do this in the first place (x-rays are 7 or 8 things of radiation, while a cat scan is 100) don't fucking realize that they've taken enough x-rays from me to equal two cat scans by now. Or maybe they do, and they are just trying to milk my dad for money, because this whole cat scan thing is costing my dad 500 fucking dollars. Man. I have Dr. Emerick, who I thought was this great doctor. I thought he wasn't the type of doctor to try and screw you for money, and he always listens, and I thought he really cared. Now, I truly remember why I fucking hate all doctors and all hospitals. They all fucking suck. Thanks doc, for making my life a paranoid hell. You fucks are the reason I am a hypocondriac.
Nikki, I miss you! I wish that none of the stuff with you ever happened. It's so shitty that I barely see you anymore. I just wish that CERTAIN people could see that I need you A LOT more then they do at this current point in time, but obviously Your Parents think that I am asking too much. Your Parents just don't know what it's like to be sick, and need your friends, because everything in the medical world I guess is a 50/50 chance, but 50/50 is a number I am beginning to loathe as much as the doctors. You've been through serious surgery, they werent there for you, I were. And now I have to go through something serious and if they can't understand the fact that I need you now, then fuck them. selfish. I miss you Nic :(
Thanks for talking with me last night Jac. I don't know if I would really go through with all of the things that we talked about, but I'm getting the cat scan. I probably wouldn't have unless I talked to you. It's a lot easier having someone who's been through all of this tell you what's right to do, instead of my dad who just annoys me I guess cause he has no idea what this is like. He has no idea how scared I really am and he tells me not to be, but with all of the shit theyre telling me and making me do, how can I not be?
Chels, I'm really sorry that when you come back this is what you have to deal with. I just wanted to say thank you for being here for me and being strong too. And thanks for coming with me tomorrow. I love you!
Anyhow...back to the homework and the cleaning of the room and the doing of thr chores so that way I can call Chelsea at noon thirty and we can go out and have a good time.
later.