(no subject)
Wow, its been forever. Shits crazzy.
Blaze, Boondox and AMB was last night and it was another great show.
Arent they always though?
Last night was definitly one to remember though.
Ill never ever forget it as long as I live.
And thats just for the small fact that Jessica Ann Castro (yes that Jess) found me.
And appologized for everything she ever did to hurt me, and told me she still cares about me and still thinks about me. And wants to start hanging out with me and wants me to call her. Ive been waiting for this day for how long now? Going on three years?
She last tried to get in touch with me on my 16th birthday. And that didnt work too well since my moms a bitch. And sure we talk at shows, but its never anything big. More of a "Hey. how are you?" kinda thing.
But this time was different. She pulled me away from everyone during the show. And held my hands. And appologized and cried. And I cried. And I was flooded with emotions I didnt even know what to say. And the best part of all of this is...she wasnt on anything. No drugs. No alcohol. Nothing. This was just Jess. The Jess that I was in love with, before she fucked me over. The one that picked me flowers and bought me stuffed animals. And celebrated Valentines Day with way after Valentines Day because we were both in the hospital on Valentines Day. The one that let me wear her ring and talked to me every night on the phone when I was in the hospital. The Jess that wrote me letters for no reason, and sang to me. And brought me roses. The beautiful wonderful girl I fell in love with. And uuugh. Jessica Ann Castro.
Dont let me get into this again. I dont want round 2 of her. She fucked me over wayy too bad. She literally killed me. Shes the reason Im so fucked up when it comes to relationships, so you can all thank her. But I really want to believe she changed. That would be amazing. She wants me to call her. Christa said I should, but have a wall prepared. That I can do. Ive built a fucking massive wall because of her. Im sure I can use it on her. Just please, dont let her break it...